Getting to Know Your Mother

I know, I know. You were just hoping I would continue talking about her. Well, all of three people asked me to write about ideas for getting to know their Blessed Mother. So I am assuming all of the internet is dying for my advice as well. So here are a few ideas if you aren't used to the Catholic idea of having a relationship with Mary. Or if you love the idea but haven't actually fostered that relationship you intellectually know is so important.

Theology for Beginners and Birthing from Within. Both required reading in this household. 

Books
Obviously, you can read about her and read about what the Church teaches in regards to her.  A few of my favorites:

Walking With Mary by Edward Sri. This is the most recent one I've read and I just loved it. Very easy to read and full of information. He breaks down tons of passages in Scripture that speak of Mary and goes into detail about what they mean. I learned a lot.

Hail, Holy Queen by Scott Hahn. I read this one several years ago and can't remember a lot of what I learned. (I'm really smart like that.) But I remember loving it. And I even got it signed by Scott Hahn himself. So that made it extra good.

The The Reed of God by Caryll Houselander.  I read this with an online book club and loved, loved, loved it. I think I highlighted more sentences than I left alone. I made notes in the margins that just said, "WOW!!!" Definitely one I should read again.

The New Rosary in Scripture: Biblical Insights for Praying the 20 Mysteries by Edward Sri. Ted read this one, not me. So I can't speak on it other than to say that he liked it. But I'm sure it would be a great place to start if you want to learn more about  how praying the rosary is to really immerse yourself in scripture! Hence the title.

Marian Thoughts by Pope Benedict. A blogger friend sent me this and it's great for a quick quote from our wonderful (former) Holy Father on his wonderful Blessed Mother.

33 Days to Morning Glory by Fr. Michael Gaitley I haven't read this one yet, but it's the tip top of my Amazon wish list. Even before a dustbuster and meatloaf pan. Everyone who has read it has loved it. It's a do-it-yourself Marian retreat that helps prepare you for a Marian consecration. I must, must, must do this.

True Devotion to Mary by St. Louis de Montfort. I saved the best for last. But again, I haven't read this one. I know! It's only thee single greatest and most loved book about Mary ever written. And I haven't read it. I hang my head in shame and admit that, yes, I should change my blog's title. I've tried to read it! Really I have! But I guess I'm just not quite smart enough because a lot of it goes over my head. I do NOT recommend this book if you are just dipping your toes into the water with Mary. You should probably read every other one on the list before coming to this. Unless you're a lot smarter than me. Then go for it.

Images
We have lots of images of Mary around the house. Seeing her on our walls and fridge and in picture frames helps me to think about her on a daily basis and (sometimes) say a little intercessory prayer for her help to get me through the daily trials of motherhood. If the idea of putting up an image of Mary in your home is too much right now, why not try an image of her and Jesus together? This one is my personal favorite.

Just print it offline and stick it on the fridge. It doesn't have to be fancy. Or send me your address and I'll make you one of the million holy cards I have with other images. Try stopping just for a few seconds in the middle of your day and center yourself on the peace and profound love displayed in that image. A vulnerable Baby. A loving Mother. Holding God Himself in her very arms. Think about holding your own babies with the same embrace and trying to love them with the love Mary had for Jesus.

Statues
We have a total of five Mary statues inside our three bedroom home, which makes us seem super Catholic I suppose. All of them have been gifts and I treasure each one. But if the idea of displaying a statue of Mary is too much, too fast, then what about just leaving your nativity scene out even after Christmas has passed? If you're comfortable displaying a statue of Mary holding or adoring the Baby Jesus in December, wouldn't it be ok to keep it out all year round? This beautiful pair sits on our dresser. I promise I'm going to glue Joseph's head back on one of these days.

And no, Catholics do not worship statues.

Media Resources
One thing that Ted and I have really been doing a lot of lately is listening to podcasts. I wish we had more time and energy to read but we just don't right now. That's why it's so nice to be able to listen to Catholic radio in the car or online. We pull up a podcast just before bed and listen to it together if we can manage to keep our eyes open.

Catholic Answers is a really good one. They have a whole section devoted to Mary.

Lighthouse Catholic Media is another awesome resource. They're the ones who put out all the CDs that can be found in the back of a lot of Catholic churches. Check the back or your local church to see if they have the kiosk. They ask for a $3 donation but if you don't have it, you are still welcome to take a CD. I haven't heard a bad one yet. You can buy a CD for just a few dollars. You can also get MP3 versions for even cheaper. Here's the link to all of their talks on Mary.

You can download an awesome Fulton Sheen app on your phone for free and listen to tons of talks from this great teacher of the Faith. There's even a section devoted to Mary to make it easy for you.

Bonnie, a big fan of Sheen, also has a her own short video with lots of simple ideas for developing a relationship with Mary.

Marian Miracles
If you really want to be wowed by Mary, spend some time learning about the miraculous events that have taken place throughout history. The Miracle of the Sun in Fatima is a favorite of many but there are so many more. And when Mary appeared to Juan Diego in 1531, she left behind a most miraculous image of herself.

Good ole Catholic Answers has several radio podcasts you can listen to on the topic of Marian apparitions if you want to know more. I'm sure there are tons of other great resources on this area, but I'm a bit fuzzy here. If anyone knows more please leave them in the comments!

Marian Prayers
Catholics get a lot of flack for their love of scripted prayers. But it's not that we can't talk to God using our own words, it's just that sometimes the words aren't there. Or sometimes someone else said it better than you can. Just as a Protestant might recite the Our Father when other words escape them, Catholics can fall back on any of the numerous prayers written throughout history. And it seems to me that some people who bash Catholics for scripted prayer, fall into the habit of saying their own version of scripted prayer anyway. "Lord we just thank you for this day. Please bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies. Please bless the hands that prepared it. In Jesus name we pray." I'm not making fun, promise. Just pointing out that it's nice to not have to come up with your own words every single time you want to pray. Marian prayers are different from prayers written directly to any member of the Trinity as we are asking her intercession to the Triune God with the words of the prayer.

My personal favorite is the Memorare.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

I also like to use the words from the Gospel of Luke that Mary herself used to praise God when I'm praying. 

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior
for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.

He has mercy on those who fear him
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm,
he has scattered the proud in their conceit.

He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,
and has lifted up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.

He has come to the help of his servant Israel
for he remembered his promise of mercy,
the promise he made to our fathers,
to Abraham and his children forever. 

You can find a bunch more here.

The Many Names of Mary
Having been Catholic my whole life, I've never really thought it odd that there are so many names for Mary. But I can totally understand how, from a non-Catholic perspective, we sound a little crazy. "That's Our Lady of Guadalupe. Oh look at this picture of Our Lady of Sorrows. I just love this statue of Our Lady of Grace." I like this explanation. Or this one. If you haven't found a relationship with Mary to be something that comes easily, try praying the Litany of Mary and seeing if one of her titles jumps out at you. Maybe she can be your Model of Motherhood, your Virgin Most Wise, or your Queen of Peace.



So there you have it. A not-at-all exhaustive list about getting to know your Mama Mary. Please, please, please leave other ideas in the comments! I'd like to put this post on my sidebar in hopes that it could maybe help those struggling with the concept of a Marian devotion and would love to have your input. And if none of this appeals to you, you can always start by just repeating those famous words spoken by the Angel Gabriel, Hail, full of grace....

Quick Takes: Luther, Christmas Cards and Dol Jan Chi

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After writing this post, I did a little digging on what Martin Luther taught about Mary. I had always heard he upheld the Church's teachings on Mary and had a great devotion to her. Boy did he ever.

The veneration of Mary is inscribed in the very depths of the human heart. -Sermon, September 1, 1522

[She is the] highest woman and the noblest gem in Christianity after Christ . . . She is nobility, wisdom, and holiness personified. We can never honor her enough. Still honor and praise must be given to her in such a way as to injure neither Christ nor the Scriptures. -Sermon, Christmas, 1531 [emphasis mine]

One should honor Mary as she herself wished and as she expressed it in the Magnificat. She praised God for his deeds. How then can we praise her? The true honor of Mary is the honor of God, the praise of God's grace . . . Mary is nothing for the sake of herself, but for the sake of Christ . . . Mary does not wish that we come to her, but through her to God. -Explanation of the Magnificat, 1521

Christ, our Savior, was the real and natural fruit of Mary's virginal womb . . . This was without the cooperation of a man, and she remained a virgin after that.
-Luther's Works, Sermons on John, chaps. 1-4 (1539)


Those are really beautiful words written about Our Lady. If I had heard them without knowing who said them, I could have probably guessed they were from the Pope or Scott Hahn or someone. I genuinely wonder how the reverence and honor that Luther showed to Mary has become practically extinct in Protestant belief today.  Anybody care to shed some light on that for me?

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Some Christmas card picture outtakes. The first, Overly Concerned Sister.

I call this one, Stupid Cat.

And my personal favorite, Achoo.

These were all taken before I realized I had forgotten my sweater. I put it on for the rest so we could pretend like it's actually cold here. But it's been in the 70s and 80s all week. Don't hate me. Just come visit!

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Despite what the outtakes may have you believe, we did manage to snag one decent picture that is going to make the most beautiful card. I did the (very, very, very) simple design myself with Picasa and uploaded it to VistaPrint. Way cheaper than using their designs. And with the Groupon I bought, we'll be getting 100 gorgeous Christmas cards for only 28 dollars. Except that I waited until now to order them and have to pay 20 bucks for shipping. Still a good deal, but ouch.

This is only the second year we've sent out Christmas cards and last year I did my best to keep it a secret. I'm so worried about hurting someone's feelings who doesn't get a card. But the truth is, we both have huge families and are blessed with lots of far away friends from our time spent in Missouri and Mississippi. Plus friends from all over the country through this blog. Not to mention our awesome community here in Florida. So 100 cards goes pretty quickly and there are lot of people that have to get left off the list. I know it's a good problem to have but I hate it. But we can't buy 200 cards so it is what it is. I still love getting cards from people who I don't send one to and hope that no one reading is hurt if they don't get a card. Surely I'm not the only one who stresses about this right?

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This wasn't from this week, but I still have to share.

Me: Today is the Feast of St. Andrew. He was a fisherman!
Hannah: He went fishing with Mary!
Me: Well......maybe.
H: Saints are people who live in heaven. We ask them to pray for us!
Me: That's right!
H: God is in heaven. He's so so so up high. 
Me: And Does God love you so much?
H: He does love me so much!
Me: And does he love Paul too?
H: No. No He doesn't love Paul.

That's not true Paul. Everybody loves you.

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Our tree went up the first day of Advent. I try to act like I understand people who wait until Christmas to do their tree, but really I just can't imagine going without. The smell it fills the entire house with, the calmness and warmth the lights bring to the dark evenings and mornings, the sentimental feeling each ornament gives as I bark at Hannah to get her hands off before she breaks it.

Oh Christmas tree.

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Today is my one and only nephew's first birthday! My brother-in-law (Ted's sister's husband) is from South Korea and they celebrated the traditional Dol Jan Chi for Theo's first birthday. Isn't he totes adorbs? (No, you will never, ever find that expression on this blog. Ever.) 

Isn't he precious? We didn't get to make it to St. Louis for the party but I do get to see the little prince in just a few weeks. I can't wait for him and Paul to wrestle.

Happy Birthday Theo!

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Since I'm a few days late in posting these quick takes, I get to wish you all a most blessed Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Forgive me if I end with just one more quote about Mary?

It is a sweet and pious belief that the infusion of Mary's soul was effected without original sin; so that in the very infusion of her soul she was also purified from original sin and adorned with God's gifts, receiving a pure soul infused by God; thus from the first moment she began to live she was free from all sin"

Yep. Still from Luther.  From a Sermon entitled, "On the Day of the Conception of the Mother of God" in 1527. Ok, I'm done. Promise.

Head to Jen for more.

Oh, I almost forgot! Do I have any readers that live in Arkansas?? Particularly near Fayetteville? If so, email me! I have quite the treat for you.

Behold, Your Mother

Do you know her? Your mother. The Blessed Virgin Mary. The mother of your Lord. Do you know her?

I've been in a blogging rut for quite some time and I think I finally know why. It became very clear to me while at a concert last night that I have been failing in my duty and mission to tell you, each and every one of you, about your mom. Yes, I know the title of this blog is named for Mary. Yes, I've written about her many times. But I've never really told you about her. I've never invited you to know her like I know her. I've shied away from it because I was scared. Nervous. Overwhelmed. Inadequate. You name it. I've wanted to write this post for four years but couldn't muster up the courage. What if I get a theological detail wrong? What if I can't answer the questions that people might ask? I'm not a theologian. And while I do read books and listen to talks about our lady, I can't ever seem to retain that information and spit it back out when I need to.

So I keep quiet.

And I don't talk about how much I love her.

Or invite you to fall in love with her too.

But here goes.

Ted surprised me with tickets to a Matt Maher and Audrey Assad concert last night. (Are they coming to your city? Go, go go!) It was at a local Baptist church that holds a Christmas concert every year around this time. Because both of those artists are Catholic, there was a huge crowd from the Catholic Student Union, local Catholic youth groups, and regular Florida Catholics like us. Plus lots of Baptists that belong to that church. Plus lots of other Christians in town that heard about the concert from local Christian radio. It was so beautiful to have people of so many different faiths in one location praising Jesus and singing Christmas carols together.

As a friend said, Audrey "sings flawlessly, effortlessly, like I what I imagine Heaven will sound like." She sang a song I had heard before but never really listened to. Gabriel's Message. The lyrics were the words the angel Gabriel spoke to Mary when he announced the coming of our Lord. Straight from scripture. Right out of the gospel of Luke.

The angel Gabriel from Heaven came

His wings as drifted snow, his eyes as flame; 

"All hail", said he, "Thou lowly maiden Mary,"

Most highly favoured lady, Gloria!

"For known a blessed Mother thou shalt be,

All generations laud and honour thee,

Thy Son shall be Emmanuel, by seers foretold,

Most highly favoured lady," Gloria!

Then gentle Mary meekly bowed her head,

"To me be as it pleaseth God," she said,

"My soul shall laud and magnify his holy name,"

Most highly favoured lady, Gloria!

It was beautiful. And powerful. And then, she told us that she was going to sing the same song again, only in Latin. And Matt Maher started playing the piano and the music sent chills up my spine. He was playing the interlude to Ave Maria. I've been Catholic my whole life and had no idea what the words to Ave Maria actually were. Then, in that Baptist church, Audrey Assad and Matt Maher performed the most beautiful version of this ancient song I had ever heard. Not a song worshipping Mary, as so many Baptists mistakenly believe we do. But a song remembering her pivotal role in bringing us our King. Remembering her heroic "yes" to God and His will for her life. Remembering the promise that all generations would call her blessed! We praised God with the same words that Mary used to praise Him. My soul shall laud and magnify His holy name.

And I just cried. Tears rolling down my cheeks. Because it hit me that so many of my friends and family don't know her. Don't know their mother. And I was overcome with this desire to tell you about her.

Why is it so crazy to believe that we can't go to Jesus in the same way He came to us? Through His mother. Why can't we love and honor and cherish this beautiful woman who our Lord loves so much? If God is our Father and Jesus our Brother, why do we reject His mother as our mother? Do you think that loving Mary could in any way diminish your love for Jesus? As if the respect and love I give my own mother-in-law could somehow make my husband jealous? Or hurt? Never.

Please, don't let some mistaken preacher who espouses false teachings about the Catholic Church's love for Mary keep you from knowing your mother. Don't let fallen away Catholics be your example for the role of Mary in your own life. Don't let what you might think of as "praying" to Mary, keep you from asking your mom for help. Asking your mom to be with you on this journey to Jesus.

I love my son. I think he is the most beautiful and wonderful little boy who has ever graced this planet. I would do anything to keep him from harm. I would lay down my life without question to keep him safe. And I know that there will never be another human being who will love him as much as I do. I see it in the relationship Ted and his mom have. I love my husband, but she loves him more. She always will. He's her baby and her only son and she is absolutely smitten with the 27 year old man who towers above her, beats her in tennis, and makes her laugh harder than anyone else can. She loves him like nobody else can love him.

If Mary loves Jesus even half as much as I love Paul and my mother-in-law loves Ted, then she most definitely loves Him more than any one of us. More than any saint who has ever lived. More than any priest or preacher or pope. She loves Him with a mother's love. Why not let her show us how to love Jesus? Why not ask her to help us love Him better? When Ted and I were first married I called my mother-in-law to get his favorite cake recipe so I could make it for his birthday. I went to her to help me love my own husband. And I loved him in the same way she had done for so many years. I didn't venture out on my own and decide to make a different cake. I sought the help of his mother.

Jesus wants us to ask His mother for help. He wants us to love and honor and cherish her just as He did. She's not just another Biblical figure like Ester or Ruth or Martha. She is the mother of our God. If we can strive to imitate these other beautiful women in the Bible, then surely we can strive to imitate the life of Jesus' own mother.

Please, ask Mary what kind of relationship she wants to have with you. Talk to her in your heart and open yourself up to the possibility that she wants to be your mother. If that freaks you out, then ask Jesus instead. Ask Him if He wants you to honor His mother. To take seriously the commandment to honor your father and mother and include His mother in that command. How could He say no? How could He not want you to love her and accept her prayers and her help.

I don't have all the answers for every misconception that exists about Mary. I can't perfectly explain Her role in the Church despite my belief in it. But I love her. And I know how much my love for her has helped me love Jesus. And it very literally brought me to tears knowing that so many of you might not love her. And even more, than you might not know of her love for you.

I couldn't help but think that some of the Baptists at the concert last night were moved to consider Mary in a new light after learning about the Ave Maria and seeing these two very Christian artists sing it in their church. I couldn't help but have hope that you might see her in a new light too. She's more than a statue in a nativity scene. More than a character that Protestants talk about once a year at Christmas time. I don't keep it a secret that I wish the whole world was Catholic. I wish everyone knew the power and purpose of the Church Christ established 2000 years ago. I wish everyone could experience the healing salve of confession and look to the saints in times of trouble. I wish everyone would really and honestly reflect on Jesus' command to eat His body and drink His blood and then receive Him every Sunday in the Eucharist. But more than any of these, I wish everyone would know His mother.

She's your mom. Do you know her? Behold, your mother. (John 19:27)

Quick Takes: Retreat, Lake Getaway, and Nerdy Catholic Links

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Isn't he just the cutest?

I would post an adorable picture of Hannah, except that she refuses to smile for the camera right now. And we're going to attempt Christmas card pictures this weekend. And I will bribe her with suckers.

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In case you missed it, check out yesterday's post about my friend's new book. And if you want to buy it, do it through my link on the side and I get MONEY! 

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I'm heading out tonight shortly after Ted gets home for a weekend retreat. Oh how I need this. It's at a retreat center in town so to save money I'm coming back home to sleep. But other than that I'll be there all weekend. It's with a Father of Mercy. I've heard a few others speak in years past and have been incredibly challenged and moved by them. I'm expecting this weekend to be no different. It should be a great time to get my heart and mind in order before Advent begins. There's so much to do in the next month and I'm already getting overwhelmed thinking of it. I want to spend the weekend checking off nice little boxes on my to-do list and it's going to be hard for me to instead shut myself down and just spend time with Jesus.

Would you please pray for me? Pray that I will be refreshed and renewed by this retreat so that I may better serve my family when I am finished. And that I don't miss these two too much.

And if you have any prayer intentions that I can pray for you, please let me know!

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There is a lot of down time built into the retreat schedule. I keep saying things to Ted like, "Well the first talk doesn't start until 11:00. So I could just skip Mass Saturday and stay home until the first talk so I can help with the kids." At which time he reminds that this is a retreat and I'm not supposed to just show up for the bare minimum and then rush back home to make supper. I'm supposed to, ya know, retreat. Thanks goodness for my super smart husband.

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Hey check us out. Beautiful lake. Sweet husband. Notice anything missing from this picture?

That's right, kids! Last weekend some friends watched the kiddos for a few hours so we could go on our annual trip to the lake. Sure, it wasn't a secluded cabin in the woods for the entire weekend, but it was a nice little break and a chance to be together. Every time we manage to get away together we realize how much we'd been needing the break. We've got to figure out a way to make it more than a once in a blue moon thing. Sometimes I feel like we're just two people who happen to be raising the same kids. Just co managers of the household who take turns doing dishes and bath time routines. But when we get away I remember that we're actually a married couple. Who like each other and like spending time together. And who had a whole life before these kids came along.

But yes, we do end up just talking about said kids for the majority of the time. I also had a chance to get started on this book and am really loving it. Hopefully I'll get to finish it on the retreat this weekend.

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Have you signed the Pope's birthday card yet? Get to it!

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Go read this. And buy this book if you're one of the five people who haven't already. And have a great weekend.

Quick Takes: Three Great Days and Some Quotes

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Gratuitous Halloween Recap:

My kids were so dang cute. I wish the jacket belonged to us so I could dress Paul in it all winter. And the side pony, I'm tempted to have it make a weekly appearance.

We hosted a party with a few friends and then ventured to a nearby church from a Trunk or Treat. Hannah was in heaven. She overcame her shyness to say "titt or teat" (wow, I did't realize how bad that would look until I typed it out....) and "daint you" to every warm body holding candy. And although she was majorly pumped by the party and the dressing up and the free candy, nothing could have prepared her for the excitement of passing out candy to the strangers that came to our door. 

For Hannah, the after party was even better than the main event.

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I'm really glad I have another year before I need to hit All Saints Day hard. We didn't do much this year since Hannah's not quite old enough to understand. And I had to work. But this year served as a good wake up call as to how hard I'm going to need to work to help my kids get excited about All Saints Day in the future. Following up a day filled with parties and candy and dressing up with....."We get to go to Mass tonight!" probably isn't going to cut it.

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We did make a small alter to celebrate.

All the importants are represented. Noah and Miriam and saints of the Old Testament. St. Paul, St. Joseph, and Our Lady bring in the New. St. Rose Philippine Duchesne and a collection of boy Saints and holy cards for the early and modern Church. And Sts. Melissa and Doug give it a nice finishing touch.

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Other than our collection of Saints, we spent All Saints Day listening to this song:

Hannah asked for it again and again and I was happy to oblige.

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We failed big time with Al Souls Day yesterday. (I started these on Friday....finishing them on Sunday.) But if everything goes according to plan today we are going to go for a walk and pray in the cemetery. The weather is beautiful and there are several big statues that I know Hannah will love. I'm really looking forward to it.

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Some Hannah quotes:

While reading this beautiful version of Noah's Ark and pointing to what might be an onyx.

H: What's that?

Ted: Well, I'm not exactly sure. It's from Africa. Africa is a different continent. Uh, you don't know what a continent is. It's an animal from a country that is really, really far away.

H: 

Ted:

H: It's pony?

Just go with pony, dad.

While watching me put on my robe.

H: Mommy that's a pretty dress?

Me: It's called a robe.

H: Oh. You're awfully cute.

Me: Awe, thanks Hannah!

H: I want to wear a rose like you.

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Some quotes from Paul.

"mama"

And hearing that word from this boy is likely the sweetest thing I've ever heard. I have pretty stringent criteria for what I consider a first word. Not just babbling. Must be directed toward the person/object. Most be obvious that he's actually referring to person/object. Must say it immediately upon seeing person/object for the first time. Etc.

I waited three days to say for sure. He's not even eight months old so I was very skeptical. But he's saying it. For real. He's saying "mama".

Parenthood is awesome.

Happy Sunday!

A Good Group of Gals

Moving to two new towns within the first three years of our marriage has taught me and Ted one thing. Good friends are really important. When you move away from family and to a completely unfamiliar place (twice!), being able to rely on a few good friends can mean the difference between barely surviving and happily thriving. Ted has been really fortunate to have great classmates followed by amazing coworkers, so he's found most of his friends without even trying. I've had great success meeting wonderful, wonderful friends by just introducing myself to Catholics who I think look like they'd be fun to hang out with. Sure, I might come across as a creeper at first. But it's worth it if it means a true friendship might form.

My network of Catholic mom friends has been steadily growing since we moved to Florida almost two years ago. What started out as a small group of five to six women, has grown into a weekly play date with as many as 15 moms at a time. All because I put myself out there and made an effort to make friends. I'm blessed to have a regular time each week to connect with other Catholic moms over coffee to chat about whatever is on our minds (while we wrestle our steadily increasing brood of children).

There's always coffee.  

Lots of coffee.

I also get to have spontaneous ladies' night outs every few weeks, a monthly prayer/discussion group through Families Following Christ, and plenty of great moms to choose from when asking friends to meet us at the park or the museum.

Sometimes I find myself thinking that it doesn't really matter that my friends are Catholic. It's not like we sit around talking about the Pope's latest encyclical for two hours. Sometimes I start thinking that I could really get along fine with just any ole group of moms on the playground. And I probably could. I've certainly had plenty of great friendships with non-Catholic moms in my short time as a mother. I've connected with moms over breastfeeding or healthy eating or toddler activities. But none of those groups have been quite like this one. My Catholic mom friends in Florida are all over the place when it comes to parenting styles. Bottle feeders and tandem nursers are the best of friends. Co sleepers and cry-it-outs manage to get along great. Some of us live in beautiful homes in the nicest neighborhoods in town and some of us are in tiny apartments. A few are passionate about homeschooling, others about the Catholic school in town, and others have no idea where their children are going to be educated.

And although we don't sit around talking about "Catholic" stuff all day, it definitely colors the conversation. And it's a brilliant shade if I say so myself. We keep the complaining about our kids to a minimum and instead seek out advice on the aspects of parenting we're struggling with. We don't have to choose between keeping our mouths shut or being led into an argument when sensitive conversations come up. No one asks the other, "Are you done, yet?" nor do we expect anyone to have any more children by a specific time.

And there is one major difference that I've noticed between my great group of friends and other groups I've been a part of (or moms I've just overheard talking on the playground). We never, never speak badly of our husbands. I like that. It's not like we've all taken an oath to only say nice things. It's just that we each understand, without having to voice it, that we are truly one flesh with these men. To tear them down would only tear ourselves down in the process. So many times I've heard a simple complaint about one's husband turn into an all out male bashing extravaganza. But not so with these girls. If one of us has a genuine need for advice, it would be sought privately with one or two of those women who are closest to us. Not aired out for the entire group to hash out together.

Refreshing.

And as our children have morphed from crawling babies into actual preschoolers, our efforts in the "Pray" part of "Pray and Play" have been slowly improving.

We still keep it pretty simple, but each week we take turns leading a short prayer with all the kids. Sometimes we sing a song (written by Colleen Nixon of course) and we usually do a litany of all the kids' name saints. We always make sure to get a holy priest to come and give the kids a blessing.

No, I'm totally kidding. Colleen's priest brother-in-law just happened to stop by to see his nephews on the day I brought my camera. Notice that said nephews actually missed out on the blessing.

And another blessing of holy, Catholic mom friends? Holy, Catholic girlfriends.

Thank you, Lord, for my good group of gals.

Do I have to add that, yes of course non-Catholics can get along despite different parenting styles? And of course non-Catholics can resist complaining about their husbands. Blah blah blah, please assume my good will in this.

I Want to Stop and Say Hi to Jesus

The great post by Elizabeth about praying a rosary with her toddler that I mentioned yesterday led me to reading this series about the catechesis of young children. Go read it. (here, here, and here)

A mind-blowing excerpt, written as she is explaining that we don't need to give our children a relationship with God, they already have one from before they were born. We merely need to help them develop it. She writes,

Just as when he learns to say “mama” my son is merely giving a voice to that which he already knew from the moment of his birth, speaking a name for that person whose voice and smell he recognized in his first moments in the outside world, so too with the name Jesus. I was merely giving him a name for something he already knew, showing him a sign and helping him put a face to a presence that he already had a relationship with from the moment of his conception.

It got my wheels turning on what I'm doing to teach my children about their faith and what I need to be doing. And I automatically started criticizing myself for not doing more. Too much tv, not teaching enough prayers, never going to daily Mass, forgetting to pray in the mornings, etc etc. But as I started thinking of the things that I do do, well the list is actually quite impressive in my mind. I share, not to toot my own horn, but because...well, sharing on this blog is what I do.

Every time we drive by a church I "wave to Jesus" and tell Hannah that His body is in the church as the Eucharist. A few times we've even stopped in to say a quick (really quick) prayer before hopping back in our cars to go home.

We pray before meals. The regular prayer and a prayer for the souls in purgatory.

We have religious pictures and crucifixes up around the house. I point them out from time to time and ask her questions. "Who is that? Who does Jesus love?"

I sing hymns as lullabies and she learned all the words of the Hail Mary from my singing it at night.

We sometimes bless each other with holy water before going to bed.

We take our children to Mass, where they receive countless graces just from their presence. I whisper in her ear during the consecration, "Jesus' body. Jesus' blood."

When she asks me if I'm happy (her newest obsession) I say "Yes, who makes me happy?" and she's learned to answer with either, "Hannah," "Daddy," Paul," or "Jesus!"

We have an occasional "family movie night" when we all sit down together and watch a religious kids show, which gives us some great points to talk about and is a lot of fun.
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We have children's Bibles and read about Moses and David and the birth of Jesus, but only when she's interested because otherwise it's a fight.

We look at a picture book of our family and godparents during our nighttime prayers and say "Pray for  ___" as we flip through. (Although, for Hannah it sounds like "pay dor ___") We also say a short litany of our patron saints and she replies with "pay dor us!"


Depending on what your faith and family life is like, that may seem like a ton or it may seem like a feeble attempt at catechesis. But listing all of that out has taken me from guilt of not being good enough to teach my children to feeling pretty competent that I can actually encourage their relationships with the Lord pretty well. I know I have more to do. I know there is always room for improvement, but right now I'm feeling more up to the challenge than I am guilt and despair.

I'm up for the challenge of limiting the TV time in hopes that creative play will better develop. (but no getting rid of Netflix until I finish Once Upon a Time season two.) I'm up for the challenge of some type of toddler rosary on a daily weekly sometimes basis. I'm up for the challenge of making it to daily Mass every so often, and requiring a morning prayer before I get them out of bed, and talking about the feast days of the saints, and adding in more spontaneous prayer throughout our days. I'm up for the challenge of playing good, holy music in the car instead of giving in to whiny requests for "row row boat" for the hundredth time. I'm up for the challenge of getting even more creative with our budget so that we can buy good quality Catholic children's books that aren't in the library. I'm up for the challenge of acting like my children's religious upbringing is the single most important aspect of my parenting. (hint, because it is.)

I'm up for the challenge because I have to be. This is what I signed up for when I had kids. When I baptized them into our faith.

Today, as I tucked Hannah in for her naptime, I whispered in her ear, "God loves you so much and thinks you are soooo special," because I was feeling a little push from reading the above articles. When she woke up from her nap I heard her yelling, "Mommy! He's gone (dawn)! Where's God (Dod)?" I thought I was just the best mom in the entire world. Here I was, whispering God into her ears as she drifted off to sleep and when she woke up she was wondering where God went. I was so excited to have a conversation about the fact that we can't see God and He lives inside of us, and so on.

"God?" I clarified. "God's gone?" Her /g/ sounds like /d/ so I figured this is what she was saying.

"No mommy. Dod. Dahhhhhd. Not Dod. Where is my dod?"

She then went around looking for him. And finally stumbled upon

God.

Her frog humidifier that I moved to our room. Because her /g/ and her /f/ sound like /d/. And she can't say /r/. So "frog"="dod".

Ok, maybe she's not as holy as I had hoped. But she did allow me to give myself that pat on the back later. As we drove to the grocery store we passed by a church. She noticed it and said, "Mommy, I want stop and say hi to Desus."

I must be doing something right. Thank Dod.

Stuff and Things

Jumping from topic to topic tonight because writing a nicely organized blog post is just tooooo much work. How do people do it?? (People are really good writers, that's how. I am not one of them.I can blog, but I can't write.) Here is a sample of the thoughts in my head this week.

Sleep training is God's gift to mothers of multiple children. And I assume of mothers of one child but I wouldn't know because I coddled the hell out of Hannah and paid dearly for it. But Paul? Well this afternoon I took a perfectly happy and playful little six month old into his room, zipped him up in his blanket bag, carried him toward the crib, and he practically jumped out of my arms to get into it. Then he laid down and stayed in said crib for the next hour and forty-five minutes. Why? Because mama has worked hard to teach him how to sleep on his own. And mama needed him to nap a little earlier today because we had somewhere to be this afternoon. Thank you son. Now please, figure it out in the middle of the night. Figure.it.out.

Hannah loves to sing Ave Maria (the one that goes "Immaculate Mary, your praises we sing...." Because there are too many versions. Well, you can't have too many versions of Ave Maria I guess.) with me while we snuggle at bedtime. She calls it "Ee-mat-tu-tate Mawy" and singing it with her is just the highlight of my life right now. Precious.

Some links:

This was a really great post about finding the activities that really help you to relax. I know blogging helps me relax for all the reasons Jen mentioned (thoughts come out of my head, I feel good about recording our lives for the future, I feel accomplished for having completed something, I enjoy it) so why do I always find myself spending more time reading blog than I do writing on my own. I really enjoy reading blogs, but sometimes I feel like I wasted a bunch of time after reading and not ever getting to writing. I never feel like I wasted time after writing. So I just need to write more. And read less. And somehow get up enough self discipline to read less when I really like reading.

This was another blog post worth the read today. Elizabeth has such a way of making me want to be a better wife and mother without making me feel like a crappy wife and mother. Her way of praying the rosary with her two year old seems totally doable. So doable I'm actually considering giving it a try. Without the handmade Mystery books of course. I know my limits. And that is way beyond them.

We returned the overpriced trike because when it said it was adjustable, I didn't realize it was already on the biggest setting. And she was too big for it. So back to the store it went, even after we rode it in the street. Because I have no shame when it comes to Walmart's generous return policy. And instead of the trike I got her a real bike. Goodwill. Eight bucks. It has a bell! And she loves it.

I love it too. Especially after I peeled all the Disney Princess stickers off and made it way cuter. Shh, don't tell her.

And she's gotten so good at it in only a few days that she actually needs a helmet now. At first it was just pretending to peddle and us pushing her along but now she can all out ride. We got her helmet down from storage (that she wore exactly one time almost two years ago and hated it) and it didn't fit.

So guess who got a new Winnie the Pooh helmet. The most adorable little boy in the world, that's who.

Ted and I, in an attempt to get out of the house with the kids more often in an effort to keep from losing our minds and do fun family things, have been talking about bike riding. We borrowed a bike trailer from a friend who is trying to sell it to see if we want to buy it. Both kids loved it and now we want to take it on some of the trails around town.

Except that both of our bikes are in bad shape. Ted's is done for. And I have no idea how much mine would cost to get up to speed. I guess that's what you get since they've had to be stored outside for four of the last five years. So our little attempt at getting out of the house with the kids is quickly turning into a several hundred dollar venture. Ugh.

What are the odds of finding me and Ted new bikes at Goodwill for eight bucks? Probably less than likely than my Disney Princess steal. So this family fun idea is still in the negotiation phase.

Since we're being responsible parents and making Hannah wear a helmet (when we buy her a new one that is), we have to actually wear ours to set a good example and not be big fat hypocrites. I'm not gonna lie, I feel like a huge loser. Am I the only one who thinks helmets are just so.... uncool? I mean, protecting my head from brain injury-obviously a plus. But we never ever wore them growing up so it just feels strange now.

Helmets are important. Especially for riding with your eyes closed.

 And even though the temps were still above 90 today, I actually thought it felt pretty amazing outside. The humidity has finally let up and that subtle hint of fall is almost in the air. Like, still several hundred miles and probably another two months away kind of almost. But I was able to ride a bike down my street at 6:30 without dying. So I'm just gonna be grateful for that.

Although a Missouri fall sounds lovely right now. With leaves that actually turn colors and jackets with my jeans.

Ask me how I feel when I'm laying on the beach later this month though.

I think when you devote three paragraphs to the weather it's time to sign off.

And yes,  I know that a paragraph needs more than two sentences.