My View

Prayer Buddy Reveal

This Lent, I had the honor of praying for Katie at Persevere in Prayer. I had seen her blog before, but wasn't an active follower. It's been fun sharing her excitement for her pregnancy and praying for her intentions.

Katie-I prayed my favorite prayer, the Memorare, throughout Lent for you and your sweet baby.

More on Komen

If anyone wants more information on the link between Planned Parenthood and The Komen foundation-check this out.

I Don't Get It

I have never understood how a woman could take the life of the child inside her womb.

I don't get how anyone could say that it's "not a baby".

It boggles my mind that a "doctor" who has vowed to "do no harm" could cause the worst possible harm to innocent life every single day.

I've never understood abortion.

But now, I really don't get it.

Every activity we undertake in defense of the sanctity

of life is prophetic, inasmuch as it points to the day

when "death will be no more."

Every victory we have when an act of abortion is

prevented is prophetic of that day when death itself

will be definitively conquered.

Every triumph of grace in this world, whereby someone

is brought to see the value of life and given the

strength to welcome it, is a breaking into our history

of that definitive future in which the old order of

things will have passed, and all things will be made

new.

As pro-life warriors, we must keep our eyes fixed on

heaven, and our hearts secure in the hope that the day

is coming when all evil will be conquered.

It is the future that shapes the present; it is

victory that informs the battle; it is the destination

that determines the journey.

Daily, we are called to reflect on heaven.

When we weep, we are to think of the day when every

tear will be wiped away.

When we face the destructive power of death, we are to

think of the day when death is swallowed up in

victory.

When we labor against abortion, we are to think of the

day when we will have the rest and peace of the final

triumph of life.

Heaven is as real as earth, and its joys will be as

real as our present sorrows.

-Fr. Frank Pavone

Quick Takes (23)

-1-

Friday is a bad day for quick takes. I'm often in a quick takes mood-but can't find time on Fridays. I just want to take a walk, or watch a movie, or sit in the kitchen with Ted.

He's at the library this evening though. And Hannah's in bed. So time for quick takes!

-2-

My office is in a storage closet and people often come in to get things without my seeing them. Thursday I heard someone getting something out of a filing cabinet and it sounded like they were having a hard time finding what they needed. After a few minutes of this person making noise I struck up a conversation. They never responded....

There's an animal in a metal pipe in my office. I thought it was a mouse but it sounds much bigger than that. Maybe a bird? It never tweets. That only leaves a squirrel or a rat. Gross. And maintenance said they weren't going to do anything about it! It was still there today.

Please be dead by Monday and please do not stink up my office.

-3-

This is the only way we can get Hannah to like tummy time.

And it doesn't last long....

-4-

I'm resisting the urge to put a picture of Hannah in every one of the rest of the quick takes. She is just so. stinking. cute.

Just one more.

This is my current background on my computer at work. I stare at her while I'm pumping and picture her saying, "Thanks for the great milk mom!"

-5-

She's really starting to notice the animals hanging from her mobile. We've named them Gary the Giraffe, Milly the Monkey, Ezekiel the Elephant, and Rodney the Frog. Gary's her favorite. When we lay her down on her changing table in the morning she smiles at all the animals and then flirts with Gary.

Maybe she'll marry a tall man like her daddy.

-6-

I've mentioned this before, but if you haven't already, go check out Bonnie's blog. She's taking prayer requests for those struggling with infertility and miscarriage. Her prayer is powerful. God listens to Bonnie!

-7-

Did you know that Susan G. Komen gives money to Planned Parenthood? It's such a touchy subject when someone asks me to donate. I'm sure they do an amazing amount of research for breast cancer-why do they have to screw it up by supporting an organization that performs abortions which, ahem, are linked to breast cancer!

Jamie wrote a great post today and included a good response to those that ask you to donate to Komen. Check it out.

Have a great weekend!

Front Porch

There's this house on my favorite street in town. It's huge and white and old and has a wraparound porch with rocking chairs and a porch swing. Because of its location, I drive by it almost every single day. And at all times of the day. I've driven by this house at 7:00 in the morning, 2:00 in the afternoon, 5:30 in the evening, 8:00 at night, and just about every time in between.

Even after two years of seeing this house almost daily, it still catches my attention. I find myself daydreaming about what the inside looks like. I picture gorgeous hardwood floors and a big wooden staircase. Lightweight, white curtains blowing in the breeze. A kitchen with an island in the middle and a 12 seat table perfect for Christmas dinner.

And kids running down the stairs. A pastel painted baby room tucked away on the second floor. A giant, four post king sized bed with hotel quality bedding.

But mostly I think about that porch. About all the memories that I could build there. Swinging with my husband in the evenings after the kids are in bed. Playing with trucks and trains with my toddler on the side porch when it gets the afternoon shade. Drinking sweet tea with friends that stop to say hi.

And I'm overcome with jealousy.

But I realized something today.

I've never once, in my two years of lusting, seen anyone sitting on that porch.

What good is a wraparound porch if you don't enjoy it? Is the mortgage payment so high for such a beautiful home that mom and dad are working overtime every evening? Are the kids signed up for so many activities that playing and relaxing on their front porch is an impossibility?

If so, I'm not jealous of those porch owners anymore. Maybe I'd rather be snuggling my husband on a porch swing while watching the sunset, but at least I'm snuggling him on the couch in the living room. Maybe I'd rather be rocking Hannah outside on a beautiful afternoon, but at least I'm rocking her in our squished little bedroom.

I really do hope to have a nice front porch someday. But not at the expense of being able to enjoy it.

Naming Hannah

Hannah's name was picked out for her nearly six years ago. And it all started with.... Toy Story.

Neither Ted nor I are big movie quoters, but one movie that always seems to find its way into Ted's conversation is Toy Story. It was the end of our freshman year of college. We had just started dating a few weeks earlier. We were hanging out in my dorm room when Ted quoted a line from the movie and asked if I knew what it was from.

"Hannah! Oh Hannah!"

For those of you who aren't up on your Toy Story trivia, Hannah is the little sister of Sid, the mean neighbor of Andy, the owner of Woody the Cowboy. Woody is in Hannah's possession and he is trying to break free. He pretends to be Hannah's mom and calls to her to get her out of the room.

"Mom?"

Ted quoted the line perfectly and I immediately knew which movie it came from. I laughed because his voice sounds exactly like Andy's (and because I was falling head over heels in love with the guy and thought everything he did was adorable...)

Then he said it.

"Hey. when we have a daughter someday we should name her Hannah just so I can use that line from the movie."

When WE have a daughter?? We hadn't even said "I love you" yet and Ted mentioned US having a daughter! It may have just been a slip of the tongue, but I was beaming inside!

That one statement led to us referring to our imaginary future daughter as "Hannah" in the early months of our dating relationship.

A few months later, in the summer of 2005, I read Life Giving Love by Kimberly Hahn. (If you haven't read it-you should!) The book is about the beauty of the Church's teaching on marriage. One chapter touched on the blessing and gift that children are to a marriage and described why it's so important to be open to the life that God wants to give you . She writes:

Consider for a moment the Old Testament account of the reward God gave Hannah, the prophet Samuel's mother (see 1 Sm 1). She not only had a natural desire for a child-mocked as she was by her husband's fruitful second wife-but she also had a supernatural desire to further the kingdom of God. She knew that Israel was suffering under poor leadership, and she was willing to give up her child, should the Lord bless her, for the sake of Israel.

God took her at her word. After many years of prayers, with tears, she heard the Lord speak through the priest Eili that she would have a son. When that son, Samuel, was three years old, she weaned him and then-brought him to live with Eli for the rest of his life. (It's hard to fathom the sacrifice involved here!)

Listen to the acount of Eli's blessing, following the couple's annual visit with Samuel.

Then Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, and say, "The Lord give you children by this woman for the loan which she lent to the Lord"; so then they would return to their home. And the Lord visited Hannah, and she conceived and bore three sons and two daughters. And the boy Samuel grew in the presence of the Lord.     

1 Samuel 2:20-21 (emphasis mine)

Her reward was give more children! Do we think of children in the same was-as rewards?

And it was as if a lightbulb went off in my head. At this point I knew that I was called to marry Ted and I knew we were going to have a daughter named Hannah. Finally I knew (or thought I knew...) why that was to be her name! I had found a man who was willing to reject the culture of death with me and shun contraception and the materialism of the world. We would be open to the life that God wanted to give us. We would name our first daughter Hannah as a gesture to the belief that children are only and always blessings and gifts and we'd have tons more just like Hannah and Elkanah.

With a big smile on my face I finished the rest of the book that same night. The last chapter deals with infertility. Kimberly also mentions Hannah in this part of the book, since Hannah was barren for so long before she had Eli. It never occurred to me that maybe *that* was why the name Hannah stuck out to us....

Just a few months later in October 2005 I met my first NaPro doctor and discovered I had endometriosis. I knew nothing about it when he told me my diagnosis but sobbed in his office and asked, "Am I going to be able to have children?" I walked back into the waiting room where my boyfriend, Ted, was waiting for me. I couldn't speak. I cried during the entire elevator ride and the walk back to the car. I cried all weekend while we stayed with his family and went to a Cardinal's game and tried not to think about what this would mean for the future of our family.

I can't remember when it hit me exactly. Sometime between October 2005 and October 2009 (when we started seeking medical treatment for infertility). I can't remember if it was during a reading from the book of Samuel at Mass or just a thought in my head as I was driving one day. But sometime during that four year period-I realized why God had put Hannah's name on our heart. And it hurt.

I knew we were going to have problems getting pregnant. A successful surgery to remove the endo in August 2006 did little to calm my fears.

I knew God would make a Hannah out of me.

Years later I sit in our spare bedroom with a changing table and dresser full of pink clothes typing up a blog post while my beautiful daughter sleeps in her cradle.

I prayed for this child and the Lord granted my request. Now I, in turn, give [her] to the Lord...

1 Samuel 2:27-28

 I am unworthy of the gift He has given me. I am forever grateful.

And just because I can't resist..... Hannah, you've got a friend in me ;) 

We Improvise!

This may look like a pickup truck and a john boat.....

But it's actually a very expensive clothes line for sun-bleaching cloth diapers.

Hey, when you're stuck in an apartment-you gotta improvise!

My View

Why I Love My Husband (5)

My husband has a pretty good voice. He sings every song at Mass but I can on one hand the number of times he's sang to me when I've asked him to. He sings to Hannah almost every day.

He is currently attempting to fix the water pump in his truck. This is both an attempt to save us money and learn more about vehicle maintenance. And even if we end up towing it to a shop later today-I love him for trying.

Rather than going out and buying a longer extension cord that would reach from the outside outlet to the truck-he strung every single small one in the house together and ran it out of the bedroom window to the parking lot. He's nothing if not resourceful...... and redneck.

When he's home with Hannah during the days he takes pictures of what she's wearing and what she's doing and emails them to me at work. I get to see her beautiful face while I'm pumping and missing her!