I just got off the phone with my doctor, who is back from Florida and able to lay eyes on my ultrasound pics. The verdict?? He is sure they are ALL THREE follicles! I actually ovulated! On my own! Times three!!!
He suggests keeping with 50mg on CD 3-5 for two more cycles. If I'm not pregnant by then we'll move on to the next step. The good (no-great!) news is that I'm responding really well to the medicine right now. The bad news is that he said those dreaded words (the same ones JBTC just heard): "Everything looks great-you should get pregnant any time now!" I wanted to scream "then why aren't I???" but I resisted. He's too wonderful to yell at.
A few other things we talked about: getting my thyroid checked (the Hilgers way). Since he is not very comfortable with this aspect of NaPro yet, I'm going to try to do it straight through Hilgers. Both doctors are long distance (so phone visits only) and both are not covered by my insurance-so I may as well go with the expert! Has anyone else done the thyroid testing long distance with Hilgers? Any adivce?
We also talked about infection (thanks to the promptings of Wheelbarrow Rider). All of my cultures came back negative last November, but I still have all-the-time mucus and TEBB. I told him I was concerned that it was indicative of something underlying and wanted to know if the cultures had been done the "Hilgers" way. He said he needed to brush up on this aspect of NaPro and that he would call me next week. We may do some another round of cultures-but I'm driving through his town on my way home in two weeks so it won't be a problem!
Then he started talking about what to do WHEN I get pregnant (I still said IF). (Since he's out of town-he won't be my OB) We'll start with POI (200mg 2x week) if we can't get the progesterone results back soon enough. If we get them back and they're good, we won't even do it. He suggested getting a quantitative HCG and a progesterone level as soon as I find out. He said to wait on an ultrasound until 7 weeks to listen for a heartbeat, but that if I wanted to see a doctor earlier that I should just explain my history and they should get me in. He didn't mention anything about a beta but I've seen that done for other girls. Anyone care to elaborate on that?
Needless to say, I'm pretty excited! Thank you Lord for my wonderful doctor!
Showing posts with label NaPro Technology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NaPro Technology. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Praise God! (and a Rant)
I was literally in tears at my appointment today. But for the first time in a looong time, they were tears of joy! It's going to work-I'm going to be able to ultrasounds and blood work locally to monitor the effectiveness of the Clomid! I met with Dr. L (non NaPro) and started telling him a little about my history. After I convinced him that I was not going to consider Lupron or IVF (see below) he was pretty uninterested in helping me. But then I showed him my surgery report from Dr. G (NaPro). He was very impressed. His actual words were something like, "You have a great doctor. He's done all kinds of stuff that we aren't doing here. Wow-I'm impressed." He then told me that he thought it would be best if I stuck with my doctor (yes!) since he's so knowledgeable in this field. He said that he would coordinate with the lab girls and the ultrasound tech to get me all set up and ready to go. He also said that he wouldn't consider me to be a patient, because he wasn't planning on reading or interpreting any of the results-everything will be sent to Dr. G. This means that I won't have to schedule an appointment with him when I need something done, I won't have to pay for an office visit on top of the ultrasound/lab work, AND I won't have to have him copy the orders from Dr. G-he said the clinic would accept the out-of-state orders.
I'll have to pay up-front for everything, which isn't a problem because insurance doesn't cover anything anyway and we usually just get the rejection letter and pay for it a month later. I'm going to make appointments directly with the ultrasound girl and don't need an appointment to come in for the lab. The ultrasound girl is not really familiar with monitoring follicles, but she has done it before. My doctor is willing to call her and talk to her more about it and she seemed to be really excited about that.
And it gets even better! When she asked if I had any questions, I decided to go for the gold and just casually said, "Would you ever be willing to come in on weekends?" (as the cycle days that I need ultrasounds may fall on a weekend). "I guess," she said, "I don't really see a problem with that." WHAT??? Really? This is the when the tears started flowing.
I was also introduced to a lady in billing who will help me coordinate everything. She told me the prices and, after I sweetly asked, is checking on getting us a discount for self pay. Even if we don't get a discount-it's not TOO much higher than what we were paying in TN. But we'll take every last penny we can get! The billing lady was very sweet and supportive. She told me that her sister struggled for a long time to get pregnant and so she understood how hard it can be. I really think that made a world of difference in her willingness to help me with this. Thank you Jesus! Her sister's infertility is blessing ME in a way that I'm sure she would have never expected!
With that, my doctor (if I can even call him "mine") said goodbye. He told me that I could call him if I ever had an emergency or a serious reaction to the medicine. He also said that if things don't go as planned to let him know and he would take care of it. Then he left.....and didn't charge me for a visit!!! I was sure I would at least have to pay for an office visit. He said it would be "criminal" to make me pay for the little amount of work he did. Wow! Could it have gone any better?!
I am beyond thankful for all of the prayers of my friends, family, and fellow bloggers. You are all amazing! God must really listen to you!
And now, unfortunately, I have a rant. It wasn't two minutes into the conversation and Dr. L was trying to push Lupron and InVitro. I told him we've been trying for a year and half, I have endo and have had two surgeries, my blood work is all good, that ultrasounds have shown my follicles are not producing eggs, and that I'm on Clomid. "So you don't have any follicles..." he said. "No, I have a dominant follilcle, it just doesn't have an egg," I told him. He wasn't listening to me. He then told me that even if I did produce an egg it would be in a hostile environment because of the endo. He told me that IVF was my "only chance" to get pregnant and that no matter how much work I did it was going to come down to that. He said that surgeries don't take care of endo completely and the only way to get rid of it is go on Lupron for 6 months (it stops ovarian function-how is THAT going to get me pregnant??) I thanked him for the advice and politely told him that I had moral objections to IVF (and Lupron) due to my religious background. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "well that's probably what it's going to take." To his credit, he did try to address some of things he suspected I found objectionable. "You don't have to make 15 embryos, implant 5, and kill 4," he said. "You can have the ultimate control over it." (e.g. "You get to play God.") "I understand," I told him, "but it's not an option." I told him that Dr. G had additional training in fertility treatment that didn't compromise my religious believes. I told him that he doesn't refer for IVF. Dr. L said "oh, he does it on his own?" "No," I said, "he has the same objections that I do. To which he replied, "What church do you go to?" (this is a VERY common question in the south). "I'm Roman Catholic," I replied, sitting up a little straighter in my chair and holding my chin up. I was so proud to be able to say that.
My other disappointment during the visit came, not from the fact that he pushed IVF, but because of how little he was able to offer me in terms of fertility. If I was just your average infertile gal consulting my local OB, this is the kind of advice I would have been given. How awful!
Again, thanks for your prayers! Keem 'em comin'!
I'll have to pay up-front for everything, which isn't a problem because insurance doesn't cover anything anyway and we usually just get the rejection letter and pay for it a month later. I'm going to make appointments directly with the ultrasound girl and don't need an appointment to come in for the lab. The ultrasound girl is not really familiar with monitoring follicles, but she has done it before. My doctor is willing to call her and talk to her more about it and she seemed to be really excited about that.
And it gets even better! When she asked if I had any questions, I decided to go for the gold and just casually said, "Would you ever be willing to come in on weekends?" (as the cycle days that I need ultrasounds may fall on a weekend). "I guess," she said, "I don't really see a problem with that." WHAT??? Really? This is the when the tears started flowing.
I was also introduced to a lady in billing who will help me coordinate everything. She told me the prices and, after I sweetly asked, is checking on getting us a discount for self pay. Even if we don't get a discount-it's not TOO much higher than what we were paying in TN. But we'll take every last penny we can get! The billing lady was very sweet and supportive. She told me that her sister struggled for a long time to get pregnant and so she understood how hard it can be. I really think that made a world of difference in her willingness to help me with this. Thank you Jesus! Her sister's infertility is blessing ME in a way that I'm sure she would have never expected!
With that, my doctor (if I can even call him "mine") said goodbye. He told me that I could call him if I ever had an emergency or a serious reaction to the medicine. He also said that if things don't go as planned to let him know and he would take care of it. Then he left.....and didn't charge me for a visit!!! I was sure I would at least have to pay for an office visit. He said it would be "criminal" to make me pay for the little amount of work he did. Wow! Could it have gone any better?!
I am beyond thankful for all of the prayers of my friends, family, and fellow bloggers. You are all amazing! God must really listen to you!
And now, unfortunately, I have a rant. It wasn't two minutes into the conversation and Dr. L was trying to push Lupron and InVitro. I told him we've been trying for a year and half, I have endo and have had two surgeries, my blood work is all good, that ultrasounds have shown my follicles are not producing eggs, and that I'm on Clomid. "So you don't have any follicles..." he said. "No, I have a dominant follilcle, it just doesn't have an egg," I told him. He wasn't listening to me. He then told me that even if I did produce an egg it would be in a hostile environment because of the endo. He told me that IVF was my "only chance" to get pregnant and that no matter how much work I did it was going to come down to that. He said that surgeries don't take care of endo completely and the only way to get rid of it is go on Lupron for 6 months (it stops ovarian function-how is THAT going to get me pregnant??) I thanked him for the advice and politely told him that I had moral objections to IVF (and Lupron) due to my religious background. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "well that's probably what it's going to take." To his credit, he did try to address some of things he suspected I found objectionable. "You don't have to make 15 embryos, implant 5, and kill 4," he said. "You can have the ultimate control over it." (e.g. "You get to play God.") "I understand," I told him, "but it's not an option." I told him that Dr. G had additional training in fertility treatment that didn't compromise my religious believes. I told him that he doesn't refer for IVF. Dr. L said "oh, he does it on his own?" "No," I said, "he has the same objections that I do. To which he replied, "What church do you go to?" (this is a VERY common question in the south). "I'm Roman Catholic," I replied, sitting up a little straighter in my chair and holding my chin up. I was so proud to be able to say that.
My other disappointment during the visit came, not from the fact that he pushed IVF, but because of how little he was able to offer me in terms of fertility. If I was just your average infertile gal consulting my local OB, this is the kind of advice I would have been given. How awful!
Again, thanks for your prayers! Keem 'em comin'!
Monday, March 1, 2010
In Praise of NaPro Doctors
As I've mentioned in previous posts, Ted and I have sought out and found a wonderful doctor in Jackson, TN. Some people have asked why we would bother driving three hours one way to see a doctor when there are OBs right down the road. My answer: why WOULDN'T we??
Our doctor is a NaPro doctor. NaPro is short for Natural Procreative Technology. NaPro Technology is a woman's health science that seeks to diagnose and treat women's health problems in a way that is fully cooperative with her body. Nothing is supressed or overridden with regards to her God-given gift of her cycle. It is not soley a "Catholic" medicine, however, at the time most of the practioners are Catholic. The following are just a few of the multitude of reasons every woman on the plant should have access to these saintly doctors.
1. Every NaPro doctor I have ever met (three total) has given me more time and attention that every other doctor (probably more than 30) has given me combined! When Ted and I went to our first visit with Dr. G (our current NaPro doctor) we were asked by the nurse, "would you like a glass of water or something. It'll probably be a very long visit." We started talking with Dr. G at 3:00 and didn't leave his office until after it had closed around 5:30. He listened to me tell him my entire medical history, answered every single question we asked, told us all of the options we could pursue, and did so without once leaving the room or making us feel rushed. If you've never been to a NaPro doctor-your jaw is probably on the floor right now.
2. NaPro doctors don't prescribe "medicine" that is harmful to a woman's body and contrary to Church teaching. Birth control does not fix endometriosis. It does not fix painful periods. It merely supresses the symptoms and postpones true healing. And it does so while creating a hostile enviroment to the many, many babies that are conceived despite the pill. [I've even heard one estimation that the average woman on the pill for most of her child bearing years will have an many as seven abortions without ever knowing it.] Most doctors don't tell their patients that one of the ways birth control pills work (especially low dose pills) is to prevent conceived embryoes from implanting into the uterus, thus causing abortion. NaPro doctors tell their patients this. NaPro doctors don't allow women to unknowingly abort their babies. My first NaPro doctor told me that, even if birth control wasn't evil, he would still not prescribe it because it's bad medicine. It's not just immoral, it's unethical. He compared it to having your broken car towed all over town instead of having the engine repaired. "I'm not here to tow your car," he said.
3. NaPro doctors use a woman's unique and unrepeatable biological signs to help them in determining the problem. Every other OB I've ever been to has told me that "progesterone needs to be drawn on day 22 or 23, ovulation always occurs on day 14, etc." That is all based on a 28 day cycle. What woman in the world has a 28 day cycle every single month? In the last 8 months my cycle has been 28 days long only twice. That's only 25% of the time! My NaPro doctor has me keep detailed records of my cycle and all important changes to determine the best days to do bloodwork, ultrasounds, etc. It just makes sense and it's absolute lunacy that doctors still exist in this country that base everything on a 28 day cycle. When I needed to have ultrasounds done on particular days of my cycle and those days fell on the weekend, my doctor understood the importance of those days and came in on Saturday and Sunday when the office was closed to get it done. He even arranged for me to have an ultrasound and bloodwork done on Thanksgiving!
4. In addition to the time and attention our doctor gives us during our visits, he makes sure that we're ok even after we leave his office. I can call and email his nurse with any single question or concern that crosses my mind. He has called me personally after hours to discuss my treatment and talked to me for nearly 30 minutes! He even gave us his cell phone once. When I was experiencing some complications after my surgery, I wrestled with calling for hours before I finally did it. When I did I immediately started apologizing for calling, he completely ignored it and started asking me 20 questions to make sure I was ok. He did not mind in the least that I called. He trusted that I would only have done it if it was absolutely necessary. Since he's three hours away, he's told us that he's willing to do the majority of our treatment monitoring by phone and email. I asked him how that would be billed (as our insurance doesn't cover phone visits-not that it matters, they don't cover fertility anyway). He replied, "Kaitlin, I'm not billing you for this. This is my pleasure." When I said, "Are you sure??" He replied, "Yes, I'm sure. And do not take the fact that I'm not billing you mean that you can't call whenever you want. You call anytime you have questions and I'll answer them."
5. My doctor's primary concern is healing my body so that I can get pregnant and carry a baby to term. It is NOT to get me pregnant at all costs no matter what it takes. He is treating my disease and my symptoms, not pumping me full of medicine without bothering to find out what the actual problem is. He's not sending me on for invitro (which he would never do anyway) without getting to the bottom line about what's really wrong with me.
6. NaPro doctors pray for their clients. This is not to say that other doctors don't-but I've never been told of any other doctor's prayers. Just the other night I was getting off the phone with my doctor (at 7:30 pm) and he said "I'm praying for you and Ted, Kaitlin." I know he means it. My friend Lauren attended a Mass in St. Louis with the archbishop for couples struggling with infertility (in our honor) a few weeks ago. A NaPro doctor was there and read the petitions. Amazing.
Thinking this all sounds too good to be true? It's not. They're real. And anyone whose ever come in contact with one of these great doctors knows exactly what I'm talking about.
Lord, please watch over all NaPro doctors, your most faithful and obedient servents. Bless them abundantly and bring all doctors to know of the truth of their practice. St. Luke, pray for them!
For more info check out this interview with Dr. Hilgers, founder of the Pope Paul VI Institue and the man responsible for NaPro Technology.
http://ewtn.edgeboss.net/download/ewtn/audiolibrary/wo_02022007.mp3
Our doctor is a NaPro doctor. NaPro is short for Natural Procreative Technology. NaPro Technology is a woman's health science that seeks to diagnose and treat women's health problems in a way that is fully cooperative with her body. Nothing is supressed or overridden with regards to her God-given gift of her cycle. It is not soley a "Catholic" medicine, however, at the time most of the practioners are Catholic. The following are just a few of the multitude of reasons every woman on the plant should have access to these saintly doctors.
1. Every NaPro doctor I have ever met (three total) has given me more time and attention that every other doctor (probably more than 30) has given me combined! When Ted and I went to our first visit with Dr. G (our current NaPro doctor) we were asked by the nurse, "would you like a glass of water or something. It'll probably be a very long visit." We started talking with Dr. G at 3:00 and didn't leave his office until after it had closed around 5:30. He listened to me tell him my entire medical history, answered every single question we asked, told us all of the options we could pursue, and did so without once leaving the room or making us feel rushed. If you've never been to a NaPro doctor-your jaw is probably on the floor right now.
2. NaPro doctors don't prescribe "medicine" that is harmful to a woman's body and contrary to Church teaching. Birth control does not fix endometriosis. It does not fix painful periods. It merely supresses the symptoms and postpones true healing. And it does so while creating a hostile enviroment to the many, many babies that are conceived despite the pill. [I've even heard one estimation that the average woman on the pill for most of her child bearing years will have an many as seven abortions without ever knowing it.] Most doctors don't tell their patients that one of the ways birth control pills work (especially low dose pills) is to prevent conceived embryoes from implanting into the uterus, thus causing abortion. NaPro doctors tell their patients this. NaPro doctors don't allow women to unknowingly abort their babies. My first NaPro doctor told me that, even if birth control wasn't evil, he would still not prescribe it because it's bad medicine. It's not just immoral, it's unethical. He compared it to having your broken car towed all over town instead of having the engine repaired. "I'm not here to tow your car," he said.
3. NaPro doctors use a woman's unique and unrepeatable biological signs to help them in determining the problem. Every other OB I've ever been to has told me that "progesterone needs to be drawn on day 22 or 23, ovulation always occurs on day 14, etc." That is all based on a 28 day cycle. What woman in the world has a 28 day cycle every single month? In the last 8 months my cycle has been 28 days long only twice. That's only 25% of the time! My NaPro doctor has me keep detailed records of my cycle and all important changes to determine the best days to do bloodwork, ultrasounds, etc. It just makes sense and it's absolute lunacy that doctors still exist in this country that base everything on a 28 day cycle. When I needed to have ultrasounds done on particular days of my cycle and those days fell on the weekend, my doctor understood the importance of those days and came in on Saturday and Sunday when the office was closed to get it done. He even arranged for me to have an ultrasound and bloodwork done on Thanksgiving!
4. In addition to the time and attention our doctor gives us during our visits, he makes sure that we're ok even after we leave his office. I can call and email his nurse with any single question or concern that crosses my mind. He has called me personally after hours to discuss my treatment and talked to me for nearly 30 minutes! He even gave us his cell phone once. When I was experiencing some complications after my surgery, I wrestled with calling for hours before I finally did it. When I did I immediately started apologizing for calling, he completely ignored it and started asking me 20 questions to make sure I was ok. He did not mind in the least that I called. He trusted that I would only have done it if it was absolutely necessary. Since he's three hours away, he's told us that he's willing to do the majority of our treatment monitoring by phone and email. I asked him how that would be billed (as our insurance doesn't cover phone visits-not that it matters, they don't cover fertility anyway). He replied, "Kaitlin, I'm not billing you for this. This is my pleasure." When I said, "Are you sure??" He replied, "Yes, I'm sure. And do not take the fact that I'm not billing you mean that you can't call whenever you want. You call anytime you have questions and I'll answer them."
5. My doctor's primary concern is healing my body so that I can get pregnant and carry a baby to term. It is NOT to get me pregnant at all costs no matter what it takes. He is treating my disease and my symptoms, not pumping me full of medicine without bothering to find out what the actual problem is. He's not sending me on for invitro (which he would never do anyway) without getting to the bottom line about what's really wrong with me.
6. NaPro doctors pray for their clients. This is not to say that other doctors don't-but I've never been told of any other doctor's prayers. Just the other night I was getting off the phone with my doctor (at 7:30 pm) and he said "I'm praying for you and Ted, Kaitlin." I know he means it. My friend Lauren attended a Mass in St. Louis with the archbishop for couples struggling with infertility (in our honor) a few weeks ago. A NaPro doctor was there and read the petitions. Amazing.
Thinking this all sounds too good to be true? It's not. They're real. And anyone whose ever come in contact with one of these great doctors knows exactly what I'm talking about.
Lord, please watch over all NaPro doctors, your most faithful and obedient servents. Bless them abundantly and bring all doctors to know of the truth of their practice. St. Luke, pray for them!
For more info check out this interview with Dr. Hilgers, founder of the Pope Paul VI Institue and the man responsible for NaPro Technology.
http://ewtn.edgeboss.net/download/ewtn/audiolibrary/wo_02022007.mp3
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The Facts and the Feelings
Now that it's out there that Ted and I are struggling with infertility, I thought I'd describe (briefly if possible) the details of our particular situation.
First Ted: He's good. His little men work just fine and are doing their job. Praise God! We had a scare that they weren't and for a few months I bordered on completely hopeless. After a second sample everything was fine-it was either an amazing answer to prayers or a really crappy job on the hospital's part. If you're going through this-get two samples. (And yes, we completely obeyed the Church's position on obtaining this sample-message me if you're curious.)
Now me: I'm not as easy to describe. I was diagnosed with endometriosis in college. I should have been diagnosed when I was 15 but I couldn't find a doctor who would give me the time of day and prescribe anything other than birth control pills (which DO NOT treat endo-I'm sure this soap box issue will merit its own post soon). I finally found a wonderful doctor whose practice did not use artificial birth control and found out for the first time in my life that I'm not just a big baby when it comes to my monthly "gift". I was devastated. I had done enough research on the subject to know that it hurt your chances for babies. Thankfully God had already placed Ted in my life and with his loving support, I was able to keep it together. (Thinking back-maybe that's why God waited for me to be in college before finding out....hmm-nice one God!) In the summer of 2006 I had laproscopic surgery to remove the endometriosis. My doctor was very optimistic after the surgery. I remember him saying, "Send me a letter when you have your 12th kid," or something like that.
After a year and a half of trying-it doesn't look like we're on our way to 12. After talking with a doctor in Springfield, MO (an awful one) we decided that we would pursue a natural family planning only doctor, no matter what it took. When we moved to Mississippi we were very concerned about finding one-but you know how God works. After some searching, we found an excellent doctor in Jackson, TN, just three hours north of Starkville. Excellent isn't even the word to describe him-I don't think a word exists to describe how good this man is. We are truly, truly blessed to know him, much less be cared for by him.
Through extensive testing and a repeat laproscopic surgery (that I'm still recovering from), we discovered some good news and some bad news. My hormone levels are great and my tubes are completely open. My endometriosis had returned-but only a little and has been removed again. The worst news was the my follicles are not producing eggs and that they rupture prematurely. To the best of my understanding, the eggs are in there but they're not being "picked up" by my follicles when it's time for them to spring into action. This is not good.
Starting soon I'm going to begin taking Clomid, which is a drug that will stimulate egg production. (my doctor told Ted to prepare for the worst mood swings in history-yikes!) Lots of people who can't get pregnant try Clomid-it's kind of a "first line of defense" when it comes to infertility. Unfortunately, it's all too common for doctors to prescribe this drug to women who can't get pregnant without actually determining if empty follicles are the real problem. Thankfully-we know our real problem and know that Clomid has shown to be effective with it. If this doesn't work-there are a couple of other options to stimulate egg production (shots of FSH is one). If those don't work-we will probably not ever be able to get pregnant.
So those are the facts of what I know. Now, just for a second-I'm going to let my feelings come out on the subject....
I want a baby more than anything in the world. I take that back-I want BABIES more than anything in the world. I've wanted a large family ever since I was probably 9 or 10 years old. My mom is one of eight girls and I used to love to sit and listen to them talk about their childhood-I still do! "I want my kids to have that," I thought. I've been privileged to be a part of some amazing and HUGE families in college as a nanny/babysitter. I was with one family long enough to see number 8 AND 9 be born! (Thanks Kelsey-you are amazing!) In high school and college I was weirdly interested in all thing baby and kids. I've researched and formed opinions on everything from cloth diapers and breastfeeding to discipline techniques and schooling options.
At my very core, I long to be a mother. It's what I feel I was designed to be. I can't walk past a baby at Wal-Mart without making faces at him and saying, "Ted, look how cute he is!" I spend my free time researching ways to have a healthy pregnancy and ideas for saving money on groceries so moms can afford to stay home with their kids. And this was even before we were married! Maybe you think it's weird-maybe you can completely relate. Either way-know that my heart is broken over not having a baby to hold in my arms. Every month when another pregnancy test is negative I think, "If we got pregnant the first month we'd have a six month old, a seven month old, an eight month old by now..." I'm trying to learn to give this to God, I really am. I'm not there yet.
First Ted: He's good. His little men work just fine and are doing their job. Praise God! We had a scare that they weren't and for a few months I bordered on completely hopeless. After a second sample everything was fine-it was either an amazing answer to prayers or a really crappy job on the hospital's part. If you're going through this-get two samples. (And yes, we completely obeyed the Church's position on obtaining this sample-message me if you're curious.)
Now me: I'm not as easy to describe. I was diagnosed with endometriosis in college. I should have been diagnosed when I was 15 but I couldn't find a doctor who would give me the time of day and prescribe anything other than birth control pills (which DO NOT treat endo-I'm sure this soap box issue will merit its own post soon). I finally found a wonderful doctor whose practice did not use artificial birth control and found out for the first time in my life that I'm not just a big baby when it comes to my monthly "gift". I was devastated. I had done enough research on the subject to know that it hurt your chances for babies. Thankfully God had already placed Ted in my life and with his loving support, I was able to keep it together. (Thinking back-maybe that's why God waited for me to be in college before finding out....hmm-nice one God!) In the summer of 2006 I had laproscopic surgery to remove the endometriosis. My doctor was very optimistic after the surgery. I remember him saying, "Send me a letter when you have your 12th kid," or something like that.
After a year and a half of trying-it doesn't look like we're on our way to 12. After talking with a doctor in Springfield, MO (an awful one) we decided that we would pursue a natural family planning only doctor, no matter what it took. When we moved to Mississippi we were very concerned about finding one-but you know how God works. After some searching, we found an excellent doctor in Jackson, TN, just three hours north of Starkville. Excellent isn't even the word to describe him-I don't think a word exists to describe how good this man is. We are truly, truly blessed to know him, much less be cared for by him.
Through extensive testing and a repeat laproscopic surgery (that I'm still recovering from), we discovered some good news and some bad news. My hormone levels are great and my tubes are completely open. My endometriosis had returned-but only a little and has been removed again. The worst news was the my follicles are not producing eggs and that they rupture prematurely. To the best of my understanding, the eggs are in there but they're not being "picked up" by my follicles when it's time for them to spring into action. This is not good.
Starting soon I'm going to begin taking Clomid, which is a drug that will stimulate egg production. (my doctor told Ted to prepare for the worst mood swings in history-yikes!) Lots of people who can't get pregnant try Clomid-it's kind of a "first line of defense" when it comes to infertility. Unfortunately, it's all too common for doctors to prescribe this drug to women who can't get pregnant without actually determining if empty follicles are the real problem. Thankfully-we know our real problem and know that Clomid has shown to be effective with it. If this doesn't work-there are a couple of other options to stimulate egg production (shots of FSH is one). If those don't work-we will probably not ever be able to get pregnant.
So those are the facts of what I know. Now, just for a second-I'm going to let my feelings come out on the subject....
I want a baby more than anything in the world. I take that back-I want BABIES more than anything in the world. I've wanted a large family ever since I was probably 9 or 10 years old. My mom is one of eight girls and I used to love to sit and listen to them talk about their childhood-I still do! "I want my kids to have that," I thought. I've been privileged to be a part of some amazing and HUGE families in college as a nanny/babysitter. I was with one family long enough to see number 8 AND 9 be born! (Thanks Kelsey-you are amazing!) In high school and college I was weirdly interested in all thing baby and kids. I've researched and formed opinions on everything from cloth diapers and breastfeeding to discipline techniques and schooling options.
At my very core, I long to be a mother. It's what I feel I was designed to be. I can't walk past a baby at Wal-Mart without making faces at him and saying, "Ted, look how cute he is!" I spend my free time researching ways to have a healthy pregnancy and ideas for saving money on groceries so moms can afford to stay home with their kids. And this was even before we were married! Maybe you think it's weird-maybe you can completely relate. Either way-know that my heart is broken over not having a baby to hold in my arms. Every month when another pregnancy test is negative I think, "If we got pregnant the first month we'd have a six month old, a seven month old, an eight month old by now..." I'm trying to learn to give this to God, I really am. I'm not there yet.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)