Read Part One here.
I was nervous about handling contractions in the car-as I wouldn't have Ted to lean on to.
Alison-She asked if I had any advice for handling contractions in the car. I looked her square in the face and said, “It’s a ten minute ride that you have to make”. She nodded and said, “So that means it’ll probably be 3 contractions in the car”. I replied, “And then you’ll be there.”
I prayed a quick prayer asking God to lighten my contractions until we got to the hospital. It worked. I only had one contraction during the 10 minute drive and I handled it like a pro. On the way to the hospital I got the urge to roll down the window and give Alison a thumbs up as she drove her car behind ours. I thought that it was funny that I was still in that good of a mood but decided not to do it. For some reason, I thought that it seemed cocky and I would regret having such a confident attitude about my mood this late in labor.
Ted-She handled the contraction in the car really well. She was completely relaxed and calm. She started to pray a Hail Mary but wasn't able to finish it so I finished it for her and that made her really happy.
The drive to the hospital was actually soothing. The road was hilly and had just been resurfaced. I thought it felt like a roller coaster and actually enjoyed having the contractions while driving. I remember thinking, “I wish the hospital was farther away-this is relaxing!”
On the way to the hospital I realized I had forgotten the journal with the prayer requests. I was so upset, but knew there was nothing I could do about it. I spent the rest of labor offering up suffering "for all the people in the book" and for the few intentions that stood out in my memory. It wasn't what I had wanted-but I'm sure God heard my prayers.
When we got to the hospital I had a contraction in the parking lot. Ted knelt down on the concrete and let me drape my body over his to relax through the contraction.
We walked calmly into the Emergency Room carrying as many bags as we could hold.
Ted-The door to the ER was really heavy and she couldn't push it open. I said, "If ever there was a place for an automatic door-this would be it!"
I checked myself in and talked to the girls at the desk. The counter was high and the perfect height for me to rest on during contractions. I asked if I could stand by the desk instead of waiting in a chair and they said it was fine. I had a contraction right there at the desk and in the middle of it I realized I was blocking other people from checking in. I moved away from the desk and thought it was pretty strange that I was still so considerate of others in the middle of a contraction.
An aide came in with a wheelchair and asked me to get in. I wanted to walk but knew it was a really long way so I sat down. I politely asked the aide to take it slow and stop if I had a contraction so I could relax through it. She was all drama and replied, "No way! We've gotta get you up to that room! We'll go so fast you won't even gonna have time for a contraction!" She ticked me off. Thankfully-I didn't have any contractions during the wheelchair ride.
When we got to labor and deliver I immediately recognized the nurse's face. It was the same nurse that had given us our tour of the hospital and I was very excited about this. A second nurse came in and I read her name badge: Hannah! I told her that was our "girl name" and I was glad that she was here.
At that point, I started crying. Someone, I can't remember who, asked me what was wrong. “I'm just so excited to be here!” I replied through my tears. It had suddenly dawned on me that my baby was going to be born in this room. I was overwhelmed with joy.
We talked with the nurses about the labor so far and they politely got quiet when I had a contraction. I continued to lean on Ted and hum to get through it and then went back to talking to the nurses. I changed into the gown and they strapped the monitor on my stomach. They also put in my heparin lock, in place of an IV.
Then it was time to get checked. I'm not sure what number I was hoping for-but it definitely wasn't the one I heard.
4 or 5 cm.
I felt like I had been hit upside the head! We had been in active labor for 15 hours and I was a 4 or 5?? I was devastated. The nurse told me that the baby was still very high (she had been a -3 station just four days before) and that my water was still intact. She said that if my water broke to call her immediately because there could be cord issues since she was still so high in the pelvis.
Only a 4 or 5 with my bag of waters intact-I was definitely regretting coming to the hospital so soon!
What I thought was my water leaking was actually urine. My contractions were pressing on my bladder and I didn't realize I had actually been peeing on myself for the past two days! Thank goodness I had pre-purchased those Depends!
My mom and sister came in at this point and it was great to see them! They were so excited and in such great moods. They had a lot more energy than we had and it really woke me up and got me going.
We went over our birth plan with the nurse. She had already read it and was comfortable
with everything in it. I told her, "Don't offer me meds in my moment of weakness!" She smiled and promised me she wouldn't. I asked who the doctor on call was and they told me it was Dr. B. Praise God! If I couldn't have MY doctor-this was the second best! All the fear I had had over the last several months of fighting with an over zealous and intervention happy doctor were gone! The nurses were obviously excited about this as well-they told me that Dr. B and my doctor were "one in the same".
The nurses arranged with Dr. B to only check my vitals once an hour on the hour. That meant not having to wear the blood pressure cuff! Our birth plan stated that we preferred 15 minutes external fetal monitoring per hour and everyone was fine with this. Our nurse said that she would turn the monitor on at the top of every hour and that we could unplug it ourselves after 15 minutes. The cords were plenty long enough to allow me to still walk around the room and the belt wasn't uncomfortable at all. Perfect!
The doctor come by a few minutes later to see how we were doing. He was very respectful and waited until after my contractions were over before speaking with me. It was obvious that we didn't really need anything at this point so he left us alone until it was pushing time. After he made a comment that really got me down though. "Looks like we'll have this baby sometime tomorrow morning." he said. Definitely not what I wanted to hear after already being in labor for 15 hours (39 if I had realized that Saturday was early labor).
The nurse brought me some water and I munched on trail mix to keep from getting too hungry. One time the nurse walked in right as I had grabbed a big handful. I had to hide it under my thigh and to keep her from finding out. I felt very sneaky.
Once my mom and sister left we got down to work. We knew the baby was still high and were determined to bring her down. Lots of pelvic rocks on the birth ball and squatting during contractions. When our nurse came in only an hour later at 6:00 she had to move the monitor several inches lower because the baby had dropped! Progress!
The nurse came in again at 7:00 and told us it was the end of her shift. I made her promise to get me another good nurse and she assured me that "all the weekend nurses are good and laid back." Our new nurse was wonderful as well. And by wonderful, I mean did next to nothing which is what we wanted. She came in on the hour, waited for my contractions to stop before she started speaking, and left us alone. She never offered to check us or asked me if I needed any medication. Perfect.
To help my discouragement at this point, I texted a few friends and asked them to keep praying. I never thought I would have the frame of mind to text during labor, but I was still completely with it and lucid. One of the friends I texted was Lauren, among several other prayer warriors that I knew would come through for me.
For the next few hours we fell into a great rhythm. Ted sat across from me on the birth ball or stood and held me up as I squatted and swayed through contractions. My mom brought Ted and Alison some food from McAlister's and they took turns leaving the room to eat it. When Alison was out of the room I was very cuddly with Ted. Honestly, I just wanted to make out with him. I was so in love with him and grateful for how hard he was working and how well he was coaching me through it all. I was, and still am, amazed at his strength and gentleness.
As the evening progressed I got more and more discouraged. Contractions were still very irregular and weren't getting any stronger. Looking back, I think I was just getting better and better at relaxing through them and making my body completely limp to minimize the pain. They may have been getting stronger, but I compensated by getting better. But it seemed we had hit a brick wall.
As 9:00 pm approached we discussed the possibility of getting checked. I was getting very tired and having a hard time keeping my spirits up. Ted and I were cautious to be checked frequently, as we didn't want anyone labeling us as "failure to progress" and pushing unnecessary interventions. With Alison's help, we decided that when the nurse came in at 9:00 we would ask to be checked. If I was much further (8 cm or so) we would keep plugging away. If I hadn't progressed much, we would take a break and re-energize.
The nurse checked me at 9:00.
Six and a half.
Four stinking hours for 1.5 cm. I was not happy.
As much as I had mentally prepared myself to not let the dilation discourage me-it was hard to stay positive after working so hard and making such little progress. It was at this point I told Ted and Alison, "I'm sad because I want the epidural." I didn't want it for the pain. I could handle the pain. I wanted it because I just wanted to fall asleep and wake up and have my baby. I was tired of working so hard and feeling as if my body wasn't responding. Ted told me, "You don't really want it because you know it's not what's best for our baby." I knew he was right and I thanked him.
I stayed in the bed and tried to fall asleep. Ted sat by my head and stroked my hair and Alison gave me a foot and leg massage. I managed to doze for about 20 minutes, waking up and relaxing through contractions. After the short nap, we were ready to get serious.
Alison-AT this point I stepped in more than I had thus far. Her emotions and exhaustion (and Ted’s) were waning so I started talking to Kaitlin a lot more and reminding her of her body’s unknown strength. At one point I asked them if we had the Powerade, and Ted said the ice chest was in the car. It was okay with Kaitlin that Ted leave to go get it. I thought this was best as it forced him to take a short break and get some fresh air. While he was out I stepped in to take his place as Kaitlin’s post during contractions. We got into a really good rhythm and the energy in the room got really soft and light. I could feel her sinking into each contraction. When Ted got back he had a little freshness to him and fixed a drink for Kaitlin which seemed to really help.
We knew that nipple stimulation was powerful and effective and that we would have to continue doing it if we wanted to produce stronger contractions. Alison encouraged me and Ted to keep the stimulation going during the contractions, rather then stopping for them. It was hard. It was painful. But we did it.
Alison- They questioned whether to be checked at 11:00 pm and Ted recommended they wait til midnight. After the longs hours of labor he was still on top of his game, thinking clearly and asking the right questions.
At midnight we asked to get check again.
8cm!
I was so excited. As soon as the nurse announced the number my face lit up and I said, "It's too late for an epidural!!" I was so encouraged and excited to get that far drug free and now had no doubt that I would make it to the end.
I went to the bathroom for the hundredth time and while I was sitting there I realized it was after midnight and thus the next day. "Ted!" I yelled, "it's February 7th!!" February 7th was his guess for the day the baby would be born. Mine was February 10th. For some reason, that gave me a huge push to get moving. I walked out of the bathroom with sheer determination on my face. I was scared, but I was going to break my water one way or another.
I checked my phone to see if anyone had texted back and saw that I had a text from Lauren from several hours earlier. She wrote: "Keep feeling led to pray for COURAGE for you. You are filled with the Holy Spirit. TAKE COURAGE!"
I knew it was exactly what I needed. Courage. I must have courage. I repeated the word to myself over and over again.
“Courage. Courage.”
I sat on the birth ball and did the biggest pelvic rocks I could manage. It didn't take long.
Water!
Just a little bit at first, then a little more. When I stood up it gushed onto the floor. The nurse walked in just a minute later, a little after 1:00 am, and confirmed that my water had broken. She checked me and announced I was at 9.5 cm with just a little bit of a cervical lip. She asked if I wanted her to try to move it over the baby's head and I said, "Yes!" As soon as she did I started feeling the urge to push. I didn't say anything at first. One of my fears was that I would start pushing too early and the doctor would put a time limit on pushing before suggesting a cesarean. With the nurse out of the room, I told Alison and Ted that I think I wanted to push and they suggested I just go with it. It didn't take long to realize that I did, in fact, need to start pushing.
We called the nurse and things started happening so fast. They set the birth bar up and broke down the delivery bed. The bar went over the end of the bed and would be used to hold myself up during squatting. The assistant nurse commented that in her ten years on labor and delivery she had only seen the birth bar used two or three times. That excited me. I felt special.
As they were rushing around getting everything together, I started getting nervous. I was worried that I was jumping the gun again and it wasn't really time. I was worried that it was my mind playing a trick on me because I wanted to have the urge to push but didn't really have it.
Before I got up on the bed, I asked if I could take my hospital gown off. It wasn't bothering me, but I remember thinking, "I don't want anything to be between me and my baby when they place her on my chest."
As the nurses were finishing things up, Alison stood at the edge of the bed and got my attention. I think she saw the fear in my face. She looked me in the eye and said, "You need to be a lion".
Lion. Courage. TAKE COURAGE.
I knew I could do this. God told me I could do this.
I sat in the bed, propped up with pillows. When a contraction came, Ted and Alison helped to lift me up into a squatting position on the edge of the bed. I concentrated on squatting as low as I possible could while draping my body over the birth bar. Ted was on my left. Alison on my right. In between contractions they would help me back down onto the bed to rest. Another contraction would come and I would hoist my body back up onto the bar.
My legs were so far apart that my feet were almost off the bed. Thank goodness I had practiced squatting for so many months!
Alison-As she started to push she did exactly what I had hoped- she pushed quietly. Instead of wasting that energy out of her mouth, she reigned it in and focused it all on that baby.
Alison reminded me to take a deep breath at the beginning of the contraction and push for as long as I could. She told me to keep my lips loose and my voice low. I managed to push silently for almost all of the contractions. It was very calm. Very quiet.
During one push the assistant nurse looked at my stomach and said, "Oh it's gonna be a big baby!" I shot her an evil glance and with my eyes I said, "And you just watch me push it out!" No one was going to tell me that my baby was too big. I knew my baby would be the perfect size for her mommy.
Ted-I was upset with the nurse for saying something so stupid while Katie was pushing. Then I realized it gave her even more motivation to push harder.
Twenty minutes or so into pushing I was suddenly unsure of what to do. As I sat in the bed waiting for a contraction I was overcome with this feeling that I wouldn't know what to do. I quickly shook the thought from my head and reminded myself that I was already doing it! I have courage. I am a lion. I started chanting, "I can do this. I can do this. I can do this!"
I realized that my body was doing exactly what it needed to do without my having to think about it. I felt as if I was perfectly designed for this. I knew my body wouldn't fail me.
Alison-As she continued to push I was taken aback by her transformation from an adorable, tiny little smiley woman to an absolute goddess warrior. Beautiful, glowing…these words don’t even begin to express what I was seeing. The surgical light shining on her just made the scene even more serene. She just exuded an unbelievable strength which was apparent even between contractions.
The nurses brought the mirror over and I got to see what everyone else had been seeing: A completely naked woman with a giant stomach squatting on the edge of the bed pushing silently while holding onto a bar. Quite a sight.
As I pushed I felt the baby move lower and lower. During some of the pushes I felt the head drop within my birth canal. I wasn't silent on those pushes. I let out a low roar that seemed to make the push stronger. I shifted my weight from side to side to keep my legs from giving out.
The nurses saw that it was getting close and called the doctor. After a few minutes, he still wasn't there. They called again I could tell they were getting nervous. I overheard them saying that he had fallen asleep and didn't get the call. Our nurse looked at me like a deer in headlights. I know that she was thinking she was going to have to catch this baby. It didn't bother me a bit-I had such peace. I literally looked straight at her and said, "It's ok." Me-reassuring the nurse!
The doctor walked in right as the head was crowning. Ted walked around and looked at her. I touched her black hair and just stared. I said, "It burns!" but in my head I was thinking, "So this is the Ring of Fire? It's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be..." I was expecting it to feel like someone was holding a torch to my bottom, but it just felt like a strong stinging sensation.
After the next push I looked over at Ted and saw tears in his eyes. I knew exactly what he was thinking. He was in awe with the realization that he was about to meet his baby. He was so proud of me. He was so in love with me. His eyes said it all.
Ted-During the pushing Katie was so determined. She just stared at our baby in the mirror and locked her eyes on the little patch of head. The expression on her face was indescribable. It was "other worldly." Her eyes were saying "every phone call, every doctor's visit, every blood draw and ultrasound, every dollar spent-and it was finally here. I'm going to push this baby out!" She was zoned in on the baby. It was as if she didn't see or hear anything else-she and the baby were all that existed.
Even with the head crowning, contractions were still irregular. The doctor suggested trying nipple stimulation and that brought another contraction almost immediately. I knew we were close. In between a contraction I remembered one of the fill-in-the-blank questions in our Bradley Childbirth workbook. "Push to the point of __comfort__" I consciously said to myself, "Screw comfort! I want to meet my baby!" With the next contraction I pushed the head out. I obviously couldn't sit back down, so I stood up on the bed holding onto the birth bar. I don't even remember pushing again, her body just seemed to slide out.
I delivered my baby while standing on the bed!
As soon as the body was out I fell back into the pillows and the doctor immediately placed the baby on my chest. I will never forget seeing those two big beautiful eyes looking up at me. Absolutely gorgeous. The doctor laid the baby belly down-so we couldn't tell if it was a boy or girl. Ted had wanted to announce the sex to me but he couldn't see! I reached my hand between the little legs and yelled, "It's a girl! Am I right?" The nurses told me I was right and for the first time I knew that Little Wiggle had been a girl all along.
"Daughter. I have a daughter."
Alison-the rest of the baby slipped out, Kaitlin sat back absolutely overcome with joy. There wasn’t even a “catch my breath” moment. She immediately scooped that baby up and fumbled around to announce it was a girl. Ted was smiling ear to ear, speechless.
They wrapped warm blankets over us and I snuggled that gooey little girl with everything I had. She grabbed my finger and looked right at me. She found her way to my breast and latched on without any help from me. When her daddy said her name she recognized his voice among everyone in the room and turned to him. It was astounding.
The doctor waited until the cord stopped pulsing before showing Ted how to cut it. I delivered the placenta easily and naturally just a few minutes later. Everything had gone exactly as we had hoped.
She was born at 3:02 am on Monday, February 7th. Exactly 48 hours after the first contractions began.
We weren't completely decided on her middle name and when the nurses asked us what her name was, I looked at Ted and said, "Hannah Rose." "Yeah," he said, "Hannah Rose."
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And that is the story of your birth Hannah. It was the best three days of mommy's life.
