What I Wore on Trinity Sunday

I was reading back over some old posts recently and realized something. I used to be much more reflective and introspective on this blog. Now, I mostly talk about my kids and participate in link-ups. Bad thing? I'm not sure. I can't write reflections if I haven't done any reflecting. And I haven't lately. Probably because my prayer life (which was strained in the first place) has taken an even bigger hit with the added stress of two kids. I should be praying MORE, not less! Sigh. Not sure where all this is going but I do know that it's an awfully awkward lead in for a post that talks about what I wore today. Vapid and self absorbed? Maybe? I'll try to balance it out with a question about modesty.

And a picture of my giant baby.

I felt a lot cuter in this before I saw the picture....

Shirt: Passed on to me by my mother-in-law when she didn't like the way it fit.
Skirt: JC Penny (I bought it with one of those $10 off promo cards and it was only $10 in the first place. So it's like I stole it.) (I never get those in the mail anymore. Shocker.) It's actually a strapless shirt. The bottom lace had sequence that I removed.
Shoes: Walmart
Earrings: Fake black pearls from some cheap store.
Neckalce: Real pearl from Ted. Can you combine two different types of pearls? I'm not so sure it worked. Too bad I didn't have a pink pearl bracelet, then I could have played it off like I was celebrating the Trinity.

This is my first time trying the shirt-tucked-into-the-high-waisted-skirt fashion. I'm super late to catch on to this trend and I'm still not quite sure how it looks on me. Does the skirt need to be higher? But then it's too short... I tried this ensemble out at a ladies' night earlier this week to see if I was crazy. When I asked Ted what he thought, he hemmed and hawed and finally told me to ask Summer. She approved. Hopefully she wasn't just being nice. I thought that pulling the skirt up to my waist would hide my stretched out, flabby belly better than shirts do. I think it worked? That and the sucking in.

I actually wore it with a white sweater because I just can't do sleeveless at Mass. Am I alone on this one? It just feels wrong to me. Like I'm showing too much skin to everyone who sits behind me. I try to picture myself standing before Our Lady before each Mass and decide if she would approve of my outfit. She never seems to approve of sleeveless for me. And it was chilly in church anyway. Maybe Mary was just looking out for my comfort this morning? I used to be against sleeveless all together. But I guess I've relaxed that stance. It's flippin hot in Florida and I'm pretty sure I've worn sleeveless all week.

Oh boy. I just went back and read the post I just linked to. I was against shorts shorter than my knee too. Wow. Just bought a pair this past week! I guess a lot has changed since having two kids. I don't hold myself to the same standards I did before. Perhaps a bit of reflecting on this is in order.

I would love a discussion on sleeves in Mass (and shorts in general) to erupt in the comment box. Go!

Happy Feast of the Holy Trinity! Where would we be without the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? I shudder to think about my life with our Triune God.

Thanks to Fine Linen and Purple for hosting, as always.

The Dress Dare: Halfway Point

Well, it's been 15 straight days of wearing nothing but dresses and skirts. I mentioned earlier that I wear them a lot in the summer anyway, so didn't think it was going to be a big deal-but I definitely miss my jeans. Here are a couple of random reflections on how it's gone so far:

People at work must have noticed by now that I haven't worn pants in two weeks. I occasionally wore a skirt last summer, but not this often. Every once in a while I get a compliment on a skirt-but not often. No one has made me feel weird or seemed to think anything of it.

I made the mistake of wearing a dress that only went a little below my knees on a Thursday. Remember my little kiddo I see on Tuesdays and Thursdays?? (see #4) Well I went out to his house in the afternoon and immediately apologized to his mom for what I was wearing. I told her that I had a banquet right after school and forgot about coming to see him (which was true). I just kind of laughed it off and said, "we'll just see how this goes!". It wasn't easy. He feet were up my skirt at least a dozen times. I couldn't sit cross-legged like I usually do and had to keep moving around to keep my legs from falling asleep because of all the weird positions I was in. At one point he pushed the dress so high up that my entire thighs were showing. I think there's something to be said about modesty in this situation as well. If wearing a skirt or dress causes this much trouble and you run the risk of flashing your underwear to a four year old-wouldn't pants be a better option?? It was a long half hour...

Sometimes I feel kind of frumpy in m skirts. Although I also feel very lady like-the frumpiness sets in from time to time. The other day I went to grocery store wearing an ankle length skirt and t-shirt. I thought it looked pretty good, but on my way out of the apartment I passed a girl wearing short shorts and a spaghetti strap tank. It struck me how much of her skin was showing and how much of mine was covered. We were probably the exact same age-but I felt really old. Ted went shopping with me and afterward he said that he noticed several women giving me looks for wearing such a long skirt. I didn't notice them (I'm on a mission when it comes to grocery shopping-I can tune out anything!). He said they weren't mean looks, just kind of extended, curious stares. I suspect they're thinking "why is such a skinny/small/young girl wearing that?" I guess I was a good witness! Being skinny, small, or young doesn't give you a reason to show too much skin.

During our weekend in New Orleans I saw tons of girls wearing skirts and dresses. Apparently it's very "in" this season. At first I thought, wow-I really fit in! Then later I realized that my dress was the only one that went below my knees. (I take that back, some went to the floor-but were accompanied by major cleavage.) I didn't notice any stares or strange glances when I was wearing my dress (come on-it's New Orleans! Why would people stare at me when they have the silver man, the weird cowboy clown, and the mime with the huge dress to stare at!) but I wore a longer skirt on Sunday and got a few looks. Overall, I really enjoyed wearing them all weekend! I felt pretty and feminine and Ted told me that he loved having such a lady by his side.

I can't end a dress dare update without talking about swimming suits. We spent the afternoon at the pool today (yes-it's 90 here!) and it forced me to think about things that I don't like thinking about. Here are my thoughts on swimming suits. No official Church teaching stuff here, just the thoughts that come from my head and many conversations with holy friends.

No two pieces. At all. Your stomach is for your husband. And the bottoms are usually so low cut-again, only for your husband!

No cleavage. I realize this is much harder for some women than it is for me. God didn't bless me much in this area, so I really don't have to try that hard to keep 'em covered. But I do still have to try. It takes a lot of searching and lot of constantly pulling up your straps. But this is important.

No butt cheeks. Despite my small size, this one is really really hard for me. Virtually every swimming suit in the world is going to show my butt -no matter how modest it may think it is. I'm constantly tugging at the suit trying to get it to cover more. Sometimes I wear shorts or keep a towel wrapped around my waist, but I take them off before getting in the water. I'm still trying to find a good balance on this one.

And the same rules apply to kids-little girls should not be seen in public wearing the equivalent of a bra and underwear.

Those are the rules I currently abide by, but I'm still not satisfied with them. I still feel like I'm showing too much leg and I'm breaking my no-sleeveless rule every time. I don't want to wear a potato sack though! Any suggestions??

The pool at our apartment complex is usually filled with college students. Despite going nearly every day last summer, I'm still shocked at some of the suits I see girls wearing. Honestly-I have lingerie that covers more than that! My husband tries so hard to keep his eyes away, but I don't expect him to be perfect when even I can't help from looking! I definitely get a lot of stares for wearing a one piece. The only other people wearing them are ladies at least 20 years older than me, and even they have cleavage hanging out. I stand out-there's no denying it. But if I'm going to try to make a statement with my suit-shouldn't it at least be a completely positive one? Not just that it's ok to have your butt hanging out as long as your stomach is covered? I'm still a work in progress on this one.

I'm also concerned about getting major tan lines on my back and shoulders. I'm in a wedding this summer and wearing a strapless dress. The bride ordered some fabric to make shawls for the Mass, but I'm sure all the other bridesmaids will take them off for the reception-maybe even for the pictures. Do I have the guts to be the only one to keep it on? Should I bring a sweater to put over my shoulders for after the Mass? I really don't know-I have two months to decide.

And with regards to exercise clothes-if you didn't read the comment that my friend Lauren left on my last post, you should really check it out. (It's under my name-I posted it for her.) I completely agree with what she has to say, with only one concern. She still lives in Missouri. And anyone in the South knows there's a complete difference in both heat and humidity during the summer from Missouri to Mississippi. In Missouri, you can run outside early in the morning or as the sun is going down and be just fine. Not so in Mississippi. The humidity is already sweltering at 6:00 am and doesn't go away at sunset. Sometimes the heat is so bad that I'm sweating just by going to get the mail. Should the same rules apply in this situation? Anyone got any thoughts? How is everyone else doing with the Dress Dare?

Quick Takes (3)

-1-

We bought the car! We drove all the way to Slidell, LA and came home with a new car! I admit, I relished in the heated back and forth of bargaining. I had so much fun. I'm weird. But we got a great deal and now have a car with ROOM and AIR CONDITIONER!

-2-

We're going to Louisianna again tomorrow morning. We're going to spend the weekend in New Orleans and I'm so excited. It will be so good for us to spend some time away alone together (too bad it's not white baby time yet :). We have no plans other than to enjoy the weekend and do whatever we feel like doing.

-3-

I take that back, we have two plans. One is to eat breakfast at Cafe DuMonde. The other is to attend a Latin Mass at St. Patrick's. I borrowed a mantilla (chapel veil) from a friend of mine and am nervous excited to try it out!

-4-

The Dress Dare is going well. Six days in and no pants! I seriously considered wearing capris today because a child I see in the afternoon had a really hard time with my skirt on Tuesday. He has Autism and was constantly trying to lift it up and put his feet in my crotch. I was nervous about wearing one again but decided to give it one more try. Turns out-he was fascinated by the polka dots in the skirt I wore today and it actually helped him keep calm during our session. Amazing! What great confirmaiton that I should keep going (and that I should wear this skirt on every Tuesday and Thursday!)

-5-

I talked to a blogger! In real life! Wheelbarrow Rider was sweet enough to let me pick her brain for over an hour Thursday night (maybe even more like two). It was sooo great to talk her. We talked just like we were old friends. She gave me some great advice on thyroid issues, clotting, hCG, and more. Talking to her made the entire blog world feel more "real", more tangible. I'm so grateful for my new blog friends. That may sound weird to some of my real-life friend reading this, I realize. But I can't express the amount of comfort that is gained from knowing there are people like you out there in the world. Incredibly Catholic AND infertile-we're a pretty small percentage. Thanks Wheelbarrow Rider. You made my lonely night (Ted was in Arkansas) so enjoyable!

-6-

I'm all set with my ultrasounds for next week. The ultrasound girl in town contacted the ones in TN and figured out everything she's supposed to be doing. I love having ultrasounds done. I always think "if I get pregnant this month I'll be able to tell my kid that I saw them (or at least their follicle) before they even existed! With only half of their DNA." Wouldn't that be cool!

-7-

This week was packed full of cute kid quotes. Here are a couple:

Kid 1: Ms. Kaitlin, you can come spend the night at my house tonight.
Me: That would be so fun!
Kid 1: And I have a tent! If you're not too fat I'll let you come in!

Kid 2: (trying to tell me how to get to his house so I can spend the night at HIS house) Well, how about I make a sign with my name on it and put it in the window. Then you drive by and stop when you see the sign?

Kid 3: (after seeing a picture of Ted on my cell phone) Is that your husband?
Me: Yep! He's really tall, like a basketball player.
Kid 3: Really? He's not real small like you?

Ah! I love em so much!

The Dress Dare

I decided to join with a few other bloggers and tackle the Dress Dare featured on the Defining Beauty blog.  Basically-it encourages women to wear dresses or skirts every single day in May in honor of Our Lady and in celebration of true femininity. I think it's awesome.

A few of my thoughts on the subject:

It will be pretty easy for me. I own a ton of skirts and have a couple of cute dresses that can be worn casually. My very sweet pregnant friend just gave me a bunch more skirts to wear over the summer while she doesn't fit into them (she still got the better end of that deal!) I can wear them to work as long as their not restricting-so I wear my "flowy" ones on the weekdays. And-I LIKE wearing skirts. It's definitely not a sacrifice for me. I used to think I looked too short in them, but I got over that after just one day of pure comfort. During the summers, I usually wear skirt just about every single day anyway. Skirt, flip flops, and a solid color tee-my summer wardrobe.

Shortly after we were married I made the internal decision to try and wear only skirts or dresses to Sunday Mass. I just felt God pushing me to do it. As I said, easy in the summer, not so easy in the winter. I spent a ridiculous amount of time and energy ordering long skirts offline and returning them when I realized I looked like a grandma. I gave in last winter and wore pants to Mass. Thankfully, this past winter I discovered boots! I can proudly say I haven't worn pants to Mass in over a year thanks to the wonderful invention of boots!

And while I am proud of myself and think that my efforts are pleasing to God, I'm still falling short. I still wear pants to daily Masses. I don't know how I rationalize this in my head. If it's clear to me that God wants me to wear a skirt to Sunday Mass, why would He change His mind about a random Tuesday? Is it not still a celebration of the Eucharist? Is it not the same Bible being read from? Is is not still heaven touching earth for all the faithful to witness? I know that it is all of these things-but I'm lazy. I wear whatever I've got on when it comes to daily Mass. I need to try harder.

Since the Dress Dare isn't going to be much of a challenge for me, I've decided to spend the month trying to reflect on modesty. Me and modesty go way back. I've been on a long journey to get to know her a little better. I don't want to spend too much time on this post (it's already long enough as it is) and I'd rather be cuddling up on the couch with Ted. But I do want to get some thoughts down on paper (or blog).

Modesty is important. Period. The Church has very clear teachings in regards to sins against the flesh and immodest dress is never acceptable. How to define "modesty", however, gets pretty tricky. I know many beautiful, wonderful Catholic women who wear things that I wouldn't dream of! Also, I know many women who put me to shame in my skinny jeans and too-tight tops. The most important thing is that we're all TRYING!

While I don't have the time or energy to post about the importance of modesty, I do want to include some links that have already said what I want to say (only better). A post published today at Defining Beauty wonderfully sums up the information in this book. I've known about the link between immodest dress and corruption of the Church for years now. What's taken me so long to get on board??  Also, this homily by a fantastic priest reminds us that the Vatican has very strict guideline for women's clothing-the Vatican! Last I checked they were a pretty good source for all things moral.

With that said, here are my thoughts on what is and what is not modest. [Let me first say that just because I believe these things with all my heart and truly feel that God has asked me to dress in this way-does NOT mean I don't fall sometimes. I know that many people could read this and think of me as a hypocrite. And they would be right-I am a hypocrite. But that's why we have confession and that's I frequent it!]

Nothing above the knee. Ever. Ted loves my legs-he tells me all the time. If he's attracted to them after so many years of seeing them-imagine what some high school boy might think as I walk through Wal-Mart. (I'm not saying they're great-only that Ted thinks so-ha!) Our thighs only lead to one place-and it's not our knees. They should be covered.

 No sleeveless. This one is tough. Most people will agree with no spaghetti straps-but sleeveless? I think the line needs to be drawn somewhere and this is where I draw it.

Absolutely no part of a woman's breast should be visible outside of her clothes. None. And that means going up higher than just avoiding a cleavage line. While going through my closet a few weeks ago  I tried on a dress that I wore to some wedding last summer. I asked Ted if he thought the dress was too low or if I should keep it. His response? He poked my skin with his finger just above where the dress was and asked "would it bother you if any other man but me touched you here?" Point taken. If it shouldn't be touched (imagine someone swatting a mosquito away from you) it shouldn't be shown. I got rid of the dress. Ted also reminds me that just because it may cover my chest when I'm starting in the mirror head on-doesn't mean some tall guy can't look straight down it as I stand below him. I falter on that one a lot.

Clothes shouldn't be so tight that they accentuate anything. I don't have a lot to accentuate-but I can still wear my clothes too tight at times. It's usually from not wanting to give up a beloved shirt that's gotten too small-but this is still no excuse.

No pajamas in public. I don't know why this was ridiculously popular in college-it's gross. And no one thinks you're cute in your Ugg boots and cut off sweat pants strolling through the grocery store. I'm against this one not just because it's immodest (only your husband should see you in your night clothes) but it's stupid! Put some real clothes on!

And for the sake of time, I'm going to have to save swimming suits for another day. I promise I'm not avoiding the topic-I'm just tired.....Okay-maybe I'm avoiding the topic. For now at least.

Finally, to end this post, I'll make the much needed disclaimer that I'm not writing this post to judge anyone-Catholic or non-Catholic-on what they are wearing. I would by lying if I said that judgemental thoughts never cross my mind when I see a friend wearing a low cut top to Mass-I'm a prideful sinner and I'm ashamed. But I'm not TRYING to judge! We're all on a journey towards modesty-some may be farther along than others. We should encourage each other and cheer each other on-not roll our eyes when we see a sister failing. I'm speaking these words to myself more than anyone.

I'm interested as to what other people think with regards to this topic. Does anyone agree or disagree with my guidelines for dress? Got any advice on living it out?