Five Favorites

I'm jumping on board the Five Favorites train to share my favorite postpartum products. Here goes:

-1-

I read this tip in the comment section of a blog post when I was pregnant with Hannah and boy oh boy was I glad I did! Buy the most expensive toilet paper you can find. Take a role to the hospital. Use the rest at home. Because really-the time for using crappy one ply toilet paper is NOT hours after you give birth.

-2-

I have an extreme amount of pity for any nursing mother who wasn't told about lanolin when they started nursing. The last thing our doula said before leaving us when Hannah was born was, "Lanolin. Both sides. Every single time." And I listened. I had virtually no pain with Hannah and am only having some with Paul (i.e. cussing only once or twice per day) Waiting until your nipples are cracked and bleeding is NOT the time to go out and get some lanolin. Have it ready. Use it liberally.

-3-

I love these nursing tanks from Target. I bought two with Hannah and am still using them (although they're slightly stained from all the lanolin). I have one in black for wearing by itself and one in cream-which is good for wearing under clothes. I've lived in them from the time we got to our postpartum room until now-with no end in sight. I wash them both almost every single day because they are usually covered in spit up and breastmilk. If you can afford it-get three or four. Order them small, they stretch out a bit. I have one with "side slings" and one with holes cut out for your boobs. I like the side sling one better-the extra fabric on the other gets in the way sometimes. Absolutely could not survive the messy months of nursing without them.

-4-

A sweet blogger friend gifted me with a postpartum care kit from Earth Mama Angel Baby when I was pregnant with Hannah. I had no idea what a perfect gift it was until I started using it. This bottom balm was essential in healing from my tear, these bath herbs were wonderful when added to a sitz bath, but this spray was absolutely amazing. I only have the balm and herbs leftover for this time around and I really wish I had the spray. This would make a great gift for a pregnant friend!

-5-

I had no idea this little gem existed with my first nursing go-around. Oh how I wish I had! I think it could have saved us months of agony from oversupply. Not to mention the hours I could have NOT been pumping had I known about it. It's a Milkies Milk Saver (click for link) and it does just that. It saves the milk that leaks out from the breast that's not attached to the baby. The first time I used it I got 2.5 ounces in just a single 15 minute nursing session. That's an entire lady's night out! Effortlessly! In only a few days I've managed to stock 33 ounces of breast milk in the freezer. If this keeps up, I won't ever have to pump. Ever. Granted, I'm not working full time like I was with Hannah. I probably would have had to pump a little then-but it's likely it would only have been one time a day.

And if I thought this thing was awesome yesterday-today I'm even more in love. I skipped it last night because I was too lazy to walk back into the kitchen before crawling in bed. I've been engorged all day-it has been saving me of this discomfort and I didn't even know it! I think this is because I'm letting all that extra milk out rather than smashing my unused breast to try to stop it.

I'm not soaked when I get up from nursing. I'm not pumping to have a supply for the times I need to be separated from Paul. I'm not engorged and uncomfortable. It's a win-win (win-win-win-win....).

-6-

I'm cheating and adding a sixth favorite. 

This guy.

He makes all the postpartum trouble worth it.

Any other postpartum essentials that I've missed? I'm really wanting to try reusable breast pads this time around (so I can stop buying the disposables every time I turn around) but want to know if they really work.  I tried the cheapos from Walmart with Hannah and felt like I had wet rags in my bra all day. Anyone know of a brand that really works? Tell me about your favorite postpartum items in the comments!

What I Wore Sunday Because No, I Haven't Had That Baby Yet (5)

Let's get one thing clear. I may be smiling in these pictures, but I am not happy. I wasn't going to ruin the pictures even further (my lack of patience and caring resulted in the following ugly background and blurriness) by wearing a frown. If I may say so, I'm a pretty good fake smiler.

I definitely didn't think I would still be pregnant for another What I Wore Sunday post. I thought  I would have a baby in my arms. Or at least be able to post a picture of me in a hospital gown. But alas, here I am. 41 weeks with absolutely no sign of a baby coming any time soon. I wouldn't normally wear something so short to Mass, but I'm pretty sure God understands at this point. Actually, I think he would have understood if I wore a giant black trash bag and called it a day. But thanks to a pretty legitimate cold front here in Florida, I was able to pull together a decent outfit on this joyous 41 week occasion.

The blurry details:
Shirt: Maternity dress from Kohls, a gift from my mom when I was pregnant with Hannah. I cut it short to make it more of a tunic so I could get daily use out of it rather than just dress-up occasions. Love jersey-no hem required.
Sweater: Forever 21, forever ago. The single most loved and worn item in my closet. I would be lost without it.
Scarf: Another gift from my mom, Target
Tights: Kohls
Boots: a gift from my sister, some shoe store in a mall somewhere. I actually planned the entire outfit around the boots. The zippers keep Hannah quite entertained during Mass. And I knew I would need an "entertained Hannah" during Mass today.

And the bump, in all its glory.

If I'm here again next week, you-know-what is gonna hit the fan. And no romantic steak dinner courtesy gift cards and free babysitting for us this week. Although my sweet hubby is grilling steaks at home. And Hannah's fun to hang out with. So this day still has something to look forward to.

Check out the other bloggers at Fine Linen and Purple for some non-cranky church clothing chat. And stayed tuned next week for What I Wore Sunday from the Insane Asylum (6)

Quick Takes

-1-

Still here. Still pregnant. Still cranky.

-2-

And, as I expected, Ted and I both caught Hannah's cold. So now we're all three sick. More than anything this week I need to be distracted by play-dates and lots and lots of walks. I can do neither. We're going on day three of not changing out of our pajamas or leaving the house. And that's when Hannah and I start to get at each other's throats. Poor girl. She didn't ask for such a cranky, tired, sick, and overdue mommy. We'll make it up to you with the coolest little sibling ever sweet girl. Someday. Eventually. Maybe.

-3-

Moving on....I loved watching the little bit of coverage that I was able to catch on Benedict's final hours as pope yesterday. It served as a great distraction. And unless the conclave elects our new pope's really, really quickly (it hasn't even started yet) or this baby is determined to make me the most miserable woman on the planet-our second child will be born during a time of a no-pope Church. That will be a fun little factoid for their future. Kind of cool, I think. If it's a boy-how awesome would it be if the new pope took the same name we chose? Fingers crossed.

-4-

I can't believe it's taken me this long to figure out that honey and lemon in hot water make your throat feel better. Really, really quickly. Did everyone else already know this? I'm on my second mug now and my sore throat is just about gone. Now, what makes me have enough energy to do laps for hours on end?

-5-

Ted is being as sweet as he normally is and planning things to look forward to for each day ahead. Tonight-strawberries dipped in dark chocolate after Hannah goes to bed. Tomorrow-mozzarella sticks and limeades  from Sonic and a trip to our local zoo/museum. Sunday-nothing yet, but I'm sure we'll come up with something. Monday-oh my, I'm going to lose my mind just thinking about still being pregnant on Monday.

-6-

Hannah finally-after nearly a year of me asking-named her baby dolls. Her chosen names? "One Babies" and "Two Babies". I love it. She's so logical. Those are such "Hannah" names.

-7-

Trying reeeeeaaaallllly hard to not make this last quick take about being super pregnant.........trying not to mention how ready I am to meet this baby.........trying to end on a positive note.......oh! I know. I currently have 199 followers. Come one-someone make this pregnant lady's day and click follow. Put me to 200. It will make me happier than going into labor! Well,  no. Not even close. But it will make me smile :)

Update: "The Veil of Chastity": you made my stinkin' day. To be topped only by my water gushing all over the place. Thanks for being lucky 200!

Hope your weekend's more fun than ours! Unless we have a baby-then I hope ours is the best.

Overdue Stream of Conscience

Lest you think that something exciting is going on around here, this post shall prove otherwise.

It's not natural to be "totally prepared" for something to happen when you're 37 weeks pregnant......and then still be just as ready when you're past 40. It messes with your head. The hospital bag needs to be packed. The depends and towels need to be in the car. The cradle must be put together. But then it all just sits there. Taunting you. For weeks.

It's not natural to say to yourself everyday, "It could be today!" while at the same time saying, "It's probably not going to be today."

Three days past that elusive "due date". This is the day I went into labor with Hannah-although she wasn't actually born until five days past. A few days ago, I read back over a post I wrote when I was two days past my due date with her and couldn't believe how emotional I was. Crying on the phone with Ted? Really Kaitlin?

Cut to yesterday, two days past, and it's taking everything I have not to call him at work sobbing and repeating, "I want to meet my baby!"

Oh the hormones. And the anticipation. And the nerves. It's just too much.

To make matters oh-so-much-more-fun,  Hannah has a cold. Last night she woke up three times before we even got to bed and we braced ourselves for what would surely be a long night. Moments after my head hit the pillow-she wakes up again only to puke for the next half hour from all the snot she had been swallowing. Holding a bawling, confused little girl while getting chunks of snot and food thrown up all over me-for the first time ever I actually prayed, "Lord, PLEASE don't let me go into labor right now."

How bad would that be? Ugh. So bad. And now Ted and I are both getting her cold, obviously. I will refuse pain medication and pitocin during labor until it's totally and completely out of my control.  But drugs for a stuffy nose? Bring it. Bring all of it. And fast.

After the bawling, puking, horribly sad and pathetic pukefest-we tried to let Hannah sleep in our bed. She asked and it seemed like a good idea. We haven't co-slept since she was 13 months old and I can't even count the number of times we've gone to bed saying, "I wish Hannah was right here in bed with us." Probably at least once a week for the past year. Thirty minutes of getting slapped in the face, being asked to rub her belly, listening to her talk to herself, and then trying repeatedly to get her to lay back down while she farted in my face and laughed....well maybe it's a good thing our co-sleeping days with her have come to an end. I'm ready for a motionless baby burrito to snuggle up with.

I can't imagine how hard this "past due" time is for someone who actually expects to deliver by or on their due date. I prep myself for this from the moment I find out I'm pregnant. I've been saying "late February or early March" for months. And it still sucks.

Even though my doctor's appointment Monday was already at 40 weeks, 1 day-it was surprisingly uneventful. Baby looked good. Blood pressure is fine. Very little swelling-nothing to be concerned about. And then, "See you next week!".

Acupuncture for the third time this afternoon! I've been massaging my acupressure points for days. The never-ending rain here has prevented me from walking-but it finally let up and I got a good walk in last night with a friend. I'm trying to eat an entire pineapple but it makes my tongue itch so I have to stop after just a few pieces. I will finish that thing eventually though. Lots of crawling, pelvic rocks, squats. Evening primrose oil. Then there's that whole "increasing your levels of oxytocin and taking advantage of the natural prostaglandins found in semen".....which will become increasing difficult in the days ahead if both parties have colds.

Target retail therapy isn't any fun when you don't have money. But we did snag an awesome humidifier in the shape of an elephant yesterday.

Hannah's newest phrase is "Oh my dosh!" Cutest thing ever.

And she hates having her nose wiped so much that if she tries to stop me from whatever task I am doing all I have to say is, "I'm gonna wipe your nose" and she runs off into her room and plays quietly to avoid me. Bad mother? Or incredibly smart one?

This song is getting me through today. Everything really is His. This baby. This labor. It's all His and all for Him. If I stay focused on that maybe I won't go completely insane.

But it's not likely.

What I Wore Sunday and for our Due Date Night (3)

Happy Due Date to us! Only a few hours left in the day, so I'm going to safely assume that this baby will not be coming on the 24th. Today's my dad's birthday too-bummer.  But even though there isn't a gooey baby in my arms, today was still a great day. First, Mass. Linking up here again-I guess I'm officially hooked.

Dress: Gap Maternity-free from a friend during one of our awesome clothing exchanges. Best idea EVER! It's the same dress I wore to Mass last Sunday. And to my baby shower the day before that....I better not have to wear it next Sunday.

Sweater-Maurices, years ago.

Tights: Walmart

Shoes: consignment

Undershirt: Half-tees. Best invention ever.

Do gray and brown even match? I wasn't sure. But I don't like the way this dress looks with black either. If I had white tights and shoes-I would have gone with that.

Hannah's dress: Calvin Kline-consignment. Obviously.

Tights: Walmart

Sweater: Children's Place

Shoes: Babies R Us. Too small. Dangit-the girl needs all new shoes.

And now, for a 40 week bump picture:

Significantly bigger than Hannah's 40 week picture. But my face isn't puffy yet like it was then. I DID have to take my wedding ring off yesterday. That happened the day before labor with Hannah. So here's hoping something's gonna happen soon!

The rest of the day was spent napping and relaxing on the back porch. This evening, Ted and I were able to go out for our traditional Due Date Night. It's a tradition if you do it twice right? 

Dress: Same! I wore it with a cute white sweater that I forgot to put on for the picture. I had some cute shoes to go with it, but ended up wearing my comfy athletic flip flops. I doubt anyone cared....

Our wonderful friends watched Hannah for us so we could wallow in the fact that we're still pregnant enjoy each other's company before the baby takes over our lives. First, we joined the 40 Days for Life campaign and prayed outside the local abortion clinic. Unfortunately, it was lightning and hailing during our hour-so we had to pray from the car. We parked in the clinic's parking lot (probably not supposed to do that...) and it really hit me hard to think how many women sat in their cars in that very spot. Wondering if they should go in. Scared. Confused. Pressured. The irony of me sitting there with my 40 week belly was not lost. Hopefully we can go back again after the baby's born. Preferably when it's not hailing.

We finished the date with delicious steaks, great conversation, and 5 glasses of blackberry sweet tea (all for me).

Prayers appreciated for the week that lies ahead of us! A doctor's appointment tomorrow morning, a visit with an acupuncturist in the afternoon. But my fingers are still crossed that something will happen tonight and we'll get to skip both of those...

Quick Takes

Seven productive things I could have been doing during the two hours I had to myself last night:

-1-

Clean. This place is a disastor.

-2-

Finish up Hannah's baby book. You know, before the second baby gets here.

-3-

Upload cute videos and share them with family back in Missouri.

-4-

Exercise. (ha-no I'm totally kidding.)

-5-

Reorganize the guest room/office/baby's storage room after Hannah took it upon herself to completely demolish it.

-6-

Work on some guest blog posts I've been asked to write.

-7-

Taxes. You don't get your money til you do them!

Instead, I read birth stories while rocking on my hands and knees for two hours. Not a total waste of time-just mostly.

Unrelated picture from Valentine's Day to make up for this post lacking anything worth reading:

Happy Weekend! Hopefully I return Monday with a new baby!

Quick Takes

 

-1-

My big girl turned two years old yesterday. It was an absolutely amazing day and I teared up at least a dozen times. I have a post in draft capturing the sweet details that I don't want to forget. Let's just say that her present was epic and we are the best parents ever. The Chik-fil-a was delicious. And hearing her dance around the house saying, "Happy Hannah Birthday!" will never get old.

Two years old and almost a big sister.

-2-

Baby is head down but sunny side up right now. I know that's not the end of the world, but I'd like to avoid the extra pain and hassle that comes with a sunny little babe. Especially after reading this birth story this morning. The tricks I've been trying haven't worked yet, so I decided to see a chiropractor yesterday in hopes that little guy/gal will rotate.

Oh my.

I've never been to the chiropractor and had no idea what to expect. I thought it would be similar to a relaxing massage. So instead when I was man-handled for about 50 seconds and told I was finished, I was a bit shocked. But wow did it feel good! By the time I got home, I didn't even feel pregnant. Not sure if it's worked yet-we are still trying everything we know at home. I wish I could go back twice a week like the doctor suggested-but goodness that's a lot of money.

I always heard that you'll get addicted to the chiro once you start. Now I understand why! I would give up chocolate, coffee, facebook-anything! If it meant I could regularly feel this good.

-3-

A dear friend and one of my favorite bloggers got some super exciting news yesterday! After being told at an early ultrasound that she was definitely pregnant with only one baby-the gender reveal ultrasound definitely showed TWO! Her husband's flight was delayed and he missed the appointment. I can't imagine her shock when those two heads flashed up on the screen. And then having to wait several hours to tell him??? What a crazy day for her. I'm so excited for her-she's such a great mom.

-4-

And even though I'm head over heels happy for her, it doesn't take away the sting of remembering that that should be us. I miss the baby that we won't meet until heaven. I'm sad that his or her little life won't be celebrated and remembered the way that other twins are celebrated. Maybe it's hitting me harder as we approach our due date. I should be pushing two babies out. We should be the parents of three children. I'm beyond grateful for the little life within me-but I'm sad I won't get to meet his/her sibling in a few weeks as well.

-5-

Um, Lent starts in a few days. What the heck? It is really sneaking up on me. I asked Ted what he thought we should "do" for Lent and he said "have a baby." A fine idea. But I better come up with something else too. I'm thinking about trying to do a daily rosary. I have never been able to stick to that. Am I absolutely insane for thinking I could do it while welcoming a newborn? Lots of hours awake at night nursing right?

-6-

I've been listening to this song a lot the last few days. Trying to remain calm and focused on Our Lady and Jesus in the days/weeks leading up to another life changing birth of a child. So beautiful. My patron saint for 2013 is Mary, Queen of Peace (yet another post in draft) and this song is about as peaceful as it gets.

-7-

I'm making beans and rice with a ham hock for dinner tonight. I make beans and rice all the time but I've never used a ham hock. It's from the pig we got last Spring and I'm just now getting around to using it. I consulted a few recipes online-but for the most part-I'm just making it up as I go along. I do this all the time and 95% of the time-it turns out great. Then I pat myself on the back and tell myself what a good chef I am. And when I fail miserably I cuss the recipes. Yes-the ones that I didn't listen to.

It's simmering on the stove now. We shall see!

-Bonus-

I can't help myself.

36 Weeks

Um. I'm huge. Waaaay bigger than I was at 36 weeks with Hannah. Pretty comparable to my hugeness on my due date with Hannah. Although Ted and I both agree that I'm actually slightly larger than even that-minus the puffy face.

Hard to believe the doctor's assessment that "nothing is going to happen anytime soon." I feel like I'm about a week past due.

Although  I still think I'll go late-maybe even into March-I'm starting to think that maybe I should get packing. Perhaps during naptime today.

Or I could watch Downton Abbey. (Don't tell me what happened! I've already had to ban myself from facebook for the morning.)

In a Cruel Twist of Fate

I now have insomnia.

That's what I get for complaining about being tired I guess. After laying in bed wide awake for an hour and breathing through seven or eight too many Braxton-Hicks, I decided to give up and seek solace in the internet. But not before trimming my toenails and making popcorn on the stove. Which are apparently the loudest possible things a person could do in the middle of the night because I woke my sweet husband up and he was not so happy about it. Sorry dear, I'm not used to this whole being-awake-while-you're-asleep thing. I normally fall asleep within about three minutes of my head hitting the pillow (not just while I'm pregnant either-it drives Ted crazy) so laying in bed for an hour was pure torture.

Lucky for anyone who enjoys reading this blog-it means you have a rambling post to waste about ten minutes reading. You're so welcome.

So here, in no particular order, are the thoughts in my head and the happenings in my life tonight:
*
In twenty short minutes I will be 36 weeks pregnant. That's pretty dang pregnant. Time is both flying by at warp speed and standing as still as a statue. It's strange to be soooo ready to meet this little baby and just dying to not be pregnant anymore...but at the same time hoping that s/he just stays in there forever because I-am-not-ready! And when the baby is born, then I won't feel these sweet kicks anymore. And that's a little bittersweet. Except when they're in my rib cage-then it'll just be sweet.
*
For all those wondering minds who care about effacement and dilation and that good stuff-here's the report from the doctor yesterday. Absolutely, positively, not-even-a-little-bit effaced. Baby's head is high high high in the pelvis. And I was dilated "maybe a pinky?" "Is that about a centimeter?" I asked, "Oh no," he chuckled, "That's barely a half." He ended the exam with, "Nothing is happening with this baby any time soon!" Then proceeded to measure my fundal height and tell me that-for the first time-I'm actually measuring slightly behind my due date! His interpretation is a small to average size baby.

So take that all those people who tell me that my baby is huge and there's no way I'm gonna make it to my due date. Which is every person I know.
*
I think Hannah is going to miss our regular OB appointments. She loves going to the "dah-tor" and gets so excited when I tell her we're going. She loves listening to the heartbeat and tells me "boo boo boo" when I ask her what it sounds like. She loves coloring on the paper that covers the exam bed. And she loves that she can get away with murder while I'm lying on my back and talking to the doctor about our birth plan. Open an entire bottle of hand sanitizer and rub it all over your body? Of course you can.

Her favorite part of the adventure is definitely watching me pee in a cup. She knows the routine. She grabs a cup from the little shelf and hands it to me with a label. After I write my name on the cup she closely and carefully watches me try to aim my stream of urine into this tiny cup while barely being able to reach around my giant belly. When I'm done she points to the cabinet that I'm supposed to put it in and then smiles at me as if to say, "Way to pee in that cup mom!"

We were in the office for a full two hours yesterday, so naturally I had to go to the bathroom again before we left. She tried to hand me the cup and label and again and was not too happy when I told her I didn't need it. So what does she do? Dips the cup into the (flushed-thankfully) toilet while my back is turned washing my hands. Clearly-she knows better than I do about what is supposed to go in that cup.
*
Hannah learned her first color today! Purple. A very fine color for her first if I say so myself.
*
She also saw me mop our kitchen floor for the first time ever and was quite impressed. What's not impressive is that this is a pretty good indicator of how many times I've mopped in the last two years. And before you go patting me on my back and telling me that I shouldn't work so hard when I'm pregnant-our kitchen is all of 4x5 feet. It literally took me less than two full minutes-start to finish-to mop the entire thing. But don't worry-I'll be sure to wait at least another eight weeks or so before mopping it again.
*
I should post more often about having crappy days. I got way more comments on that post than I do on a normal one. And I looove getting comments. Little treats throughout my days of talking to no one but Hannah.
*
We had our last meeting with our doula tonight. If you're pregnant-do you have a doula? You should. We are two of the cheapest people you will probably ever meet, but when it comes to hiring a doula-we find the money. Non negotiable.
*
Still not tired.....
*
We had a playdate at our house this morning with all my Hannah's friends. Four moms, six kids, and three more in bellies. It was chaos. It was loud. It was glorious. There's something so great about having playdates in someone's home. It much easier to actually talk to the other moms when you're sitting on the living room floor than it is when you're chasing your toddler across the playground and hoping they don't jump to their death before you can make it. And nothing beats sitting outside on my back-porch with a cup and coffee and some good conversation. We're trying to make these dates an every Friday morning thing-so refreshing to my soul.
*
I'm now officially 36 weeks pregnant.
*
I'm going to be really, really tired tomorrow.

Quick Takes

-1-

Quick-someone tell me how to stop this terrible and sudden shooting pain in the ligaments that attach my legs to my pelvis.I got this with Hannah, but only the night before I went into labor. I have six-ish weeks left people! It seriously feels like my legs are being pulled off of my body. I told Ted that I think I now know what it would feel like to be quartered. I'm scaring Hannah with all my sudden screaming. And I'm afraid I might drop her if it happens while holding her. Any tips? Dr. Google only tells me how to stop round ligament pain-which this is not.

-2-

I managed to do almost everything on my to-do lists this week. Including watching Downton Abbey. Wasn't it wonderful? My favorite parts were the cute little comments about what was to come "after the wedding....". They were so sweet and innocent. Just the way it should be.

-3-

Hannah hit a big growth spurt this week. Her fat thighs have made a comeback and her chipmunk cheeks have returned. After being the same weight for over six months, she gained two pounds! (after my monthly prenatal appointments are over, I'll never know how much she weighs again.) To celebrate, we turned her carseat forward facing. (What?? She's not two yet you say? We're three weeks away people-I'm going with it.) The results-a MUCH happier girl in the car who talks even more, sings even more, and stays awake! I think it's as much fun for me as it is for her. Today I watched as she took off her socks and shoes and proceeded to count her toes. Her precious fat toes.

-4-

We got a Costco membership for Christmas! I'm going for the first time this weekend. Anything I should keep my eyes out for? Any great deals you love and buy on a regular basis?

-5-

I have so many posts in the works but am just too tired to finish them. When nap time rolls around I can hardly make it to the bedroom before collapsing and praying that she sleeps for two hours. I'm even sleeping in later than ever thanks to Hannah still being on Central time. I slept until 8:00 today! And got a two hour nap. And it's not even 8:00 pm and I'm already fighting to keep my eyes open. How do you know when you're just regular pregnant-with-a-toddler tired and when it's something more?

-6-

The reality of this baby coming is starting to set in. I'm much more anxious than I was with Hannah-which is weird because it's not like I haven't done all this before. I think it's because we're so much farther from family this time around and none of them will be here when the big day comes. If baby numero dos comes around the due date, the first family member won't even arrive until almost two weeks later. And there's that sweet little almost-two-year-old I have to take care of this time around. Couple that with the fact that I haven't had the energy or motivation to pack, wash baby clothes, make freezer meals, etc etc etc.....well I'm starting to get a bit stressed. It's going to come together. Right? Right??

-7-

Today is January 10th.....and I had the windows open at 11:00 am.....because it was warmer outside than inside. Quite a change from the 10 inches of snow we had in Missouri last week. I, for one, am hoping that it cools back down and we can have a few more weeks of fake winter here in sunny Florida before the nine months of summer hits.

-Bonus-

We're taking down the Christmas decorations tonight and realized we never took a family picture in front of our tree! This last minute photo shoot will have to suffice. Hannah obviously didn't get the goofy face memo.

Happy Weekend!

Quick Takes

-1-

We're still in Missouri with  my side of the family this week. And we woke up to six inches of snow the day after Christmas! Hannah loved it during the ten minutes we allowed her to be out in it.

-2-

My mom and sisters and I saw Les Miserables Wednesday evening. It was the first time I had been to a theater since I was 35 weeks pregnant with Hannah two years ago. What a great movie. So nice to watch a well done film where good is portrayed as good and evil as evil. Great singing. Awesome music. Holy ending. Two days later and I still can't get it out of my head. Did you see it? What did you think?

-3-

Tomorrow marks 32 weeks!

-4-

Today is the Feast of the Holy Innocents-the baby boys who were killed by Herod in an attempt to kill the baby Jesus. Ted, Hannah, and I went to Mass this morning and prayed for the victims and familes of Sandy Hook. Bonnie wrote an excellent post, as usual, about the sensitive topic of what to say to families who have lost children.

-5-

I just learned that Christmas lasts until the Sunday after Epiphany (January 6th). I always thought it ended on Epiphany. Since January 6th actually falls on a Sunday this year, Christmas lasts until January 13th. Ted noted that this year has the shortest possible Advent and the longest possible Christmas. Pretty cool!

 

-6-

What were your favorite Christmas presents? Some of the highlights around here include a subscription to the Magnificat (no more excuses for failing in daily prayer....), a giant crock pot that's made for feeding nine people (so it should almost be big enough for me and Ted...) and wooden cutting food.

 

-7-

I'll end with a Santa photo circa 1989ish. I know you're jealous because your grandma didn't make you a special elf costume. Sorry 'bout your luck.

 

 



Merry Christmas! It's not over yet!

Christmas Highs and Lows

Low: Hannah waking up at 4:55.

High: Ted playing with Hannah all morning and letting me sleep until 6:30.

Low: Getting to Mass on time-only to realize that the Mass schedule has been changed and we were an hour early. Or 45 minutes late depending on how you look at it.

High: We still got to go to Mass. And sing Joy to the World, Silent Night, and Hark the Herald, Angels Sing.

High: Pigtails.

High: Hannah took TWO naps.

Low: She woke up from her second nap puny and sickly.

High: Christmas pajamas. Even though we opened gifts at 2:00 in the afternoon.

High: Presents!

 

 

High: A wonderful dinner with my family.

Low: Hannah's dinner coming up all over me and the baby bump just minutes after she consumed it.

High: Cuddling on the couch with my little girl watching Barney while I snuggled her back to health.

High: Watching her gradually feel better and play with her new toys as the day went on.

High: Playing with the box.

High: this:

 

High: Rocking her to sleep singing her favorite song, Hail Mary, Gentle Woman, and hearing her finish the phrases as I was singing. "Blessed is the fruit of thy woom.....Jesus, Howy Mummy......Mother of Dod.....Pray for us sinner now......and at the hour of death, Ah-me."

Low: The horrible backache that's been forming for the past few hours and the kicks that have me buckling over in pain. I seriously feel like I'm about a two days past my due date. And I have two months to go...

High: The wonderful and long massage from Ted. The one he doesn't know he's about to give me as soon as I finish this post.

Low: Not getting a single decent family picture from the day. I think I'll make Ted wear his tie to church again next Sunday just so we can snap a fake family Christmas photo.

High: Getting an awesome picture of the extended family. I can't believe there are eight of us in this picture!

Low: Looking at this picture and realizing how unflattering this sweater dress is...and that it's the only church outfit I packed for the next two Sundays.

High: Christ is born! The word was made flesh and dwelt among us! Christmas is finally here!

Merry Christmas! My massage is calling!

Our Week in Pictures

Hannah's afternoon entertainment. Picture at least triple this amount of salt on the floor. When am I going to learn that silence is never golden?

Oh well, she's cute.

It took a long, long time-but he finally convinced her that fun was possible without playing airplane for hours on end.

It's finally cold enough for hot chocolate! This perfect homemade recipe was savored on Friday night and again on Sunday morning.

Hannah is kicking Ted's butt in No-Shave-November. (No, that's not hot chocolate-it's beans. We're mean parents.)

A Saturday morning breakfast fit for kings. Pancakes from scratch, banana crepes fried in homemade lard, homemade hash-browns fried in bacon grease, real maple syrup, and cold fatty milk. Complete with a frizzy lioness in pink pajamas.

Country Fun Day-where the slides are ridiculously overpriced but the little girl loves them.

Ok-mom and dad obviously loved them too.

I made the executive decision that, despite the warnings, a giant inflatable slide was not going to put my pregnant self or unborn baby at risk. Good decision. Slightly hard to dismount though....

Seeing this little girl on her first pony was worth the $3 from my splurge budget this month. (but seriously-$3 to ride a pony??) Ted said she maintained her death grip for the entire ride.

And I'm pretty sure she enjoyed talking about the "horse" afterwards more than actually riding it. "Go!" "Nay!"

Oh these two. My heart overflows.

And ending a great week with the perfect loaf of bread! My first attempt using the five minute method. I'm in love. Four ingredients, no nasty preservatives, minimal effort, pennies per loaf, delicious-crusty-eat it all by itself bread. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

And now, I'm sitting in my house all alone on Sunday afternoon. In my pajamas. Sipping coffee, blogging, and getting ready to crack open a book. Because Ted took Hannah to "get lost" and give me some time to relax. He's a saint.

How was your week?

20 Down, 20ish to Go!

(I'll actually be 21 weeks in a few hours....better get this post up quickly!)

I can't believe we've hit the 20 week mark in this pregnancy! It is flying by!

Overall, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm getting less and less tired each day-just as the nesting urge is kicking in! I sound like I'm about two weeks past my due date-huffing and puffing, grunting when I sit or stand. I can't imagine what I'll sound like in 20 more weeks!

Baby is moving more and more. Not nearly as much as big sister, but enough to keep me reassured during the day and for Ted to get a kick or two before going to bed. They're getting stronger and stronger and I'm loving every second of it. Tonight I saw the kick from the outside for the first time-love those bumps!

I'm off progesterone-my levels look great!

Some pictures of our beautiful baby:

We had a level two ultrasound last week and it was really neat. We didn't get that with Hannah. She measured EVERYTHING and it lasted almost a half hour. No peeks at the gender-we made sure we made that clear the second we walked in! Everyone is guessing boy. I'm definitely carrying differently, but I don't put much stock in that. Ted thinks boy. I thought boy at the beginning but now I don't know.

The bump:

The  bump with Hannah at 20 weeks. I'd say I'm a a bit bigger with number two...

Yeah, those shorts definitely don't fit this time around.....

Every night before bedtime Hannah blesses us with holy water. She blesses our foreheads and then my belly when we tell her to "bless the baby." She loves pulling up my shirt and pointing to my belly when I ask her where the baby is. Recently she discovered a little scar on my belly button from one of my surgeries. She wouldn't leave it alone-it bothered her so much and she wanted it gone! I had to tell her it was "yuck" to get to her stop obsessing over it. (she understand that we don't touch things that are "yuck".) Now, anytime she sees my stomach she runs over to it, points to my belly button, and says "tuck!"

She's figuring out that big sister role quite nicely I'd say. :)

This post was all over the place, but so is my brain. Don't expect anything coherent in the near future.

Learning from Miscarriage

It seems that I'm surrounded my miscarriage lately. My own loss of our sweet twin baby. The heartbreaking miscarriage of a friend who almost shared my due date. Another friend telling me about the miscarriage she just had before she even had the chance to tell me she was pregnant. Two dear bloggers who have lost their babies and are now painfully waiting for D and C's. And the anniversaries of two different friends loosing their babies before birth.

That's a lot of miscarriage.

I read this article yesterday and thought it was beautiful. It says it so much better than I ever could.

But for my own, simple reflection-I will say that being surrounded by miscarriage serves a very real purpose for my life. It's easy to fall into the mindset that babies come easily. We got pregnant easily the second time around. Both of my pregnancies have been without any major complications. It's not hard to starting thinking that I'm in control. That we'll be able to have children whenever we want. And that we'll never suffer major heartbreak.

But that's just not reality. The suffering of so many of my friends serves to remind me that God is in control. He gives and He takes away. And really, I must surrender everything to Him-because it belongs to Him anyway.

The suffering of others forces me to be more grateful. To appreciate the gift of life within me on a deeper level. Because it's so fragile. Even in a normal, healthy pregnancy. And when we meet this baby on his birthday it will be because God has BLESSED us. Not because we deserve it.

Please pray for all those suffering from the pain of miscarriage. Especially S, J, M, J, M, and L.

A Past Due Pregnancy Post

I know, I know-I've hardly blogged about this pregnancy at all. I still haven't written a post describing how we found out (Hannah's is one of my favorites to re-read), haven't posted any ultrasound pictures, or even taken a bump picture! The reasons are twofold. One-we have been under some pretty major stress since we found out we were pregnant. About a week after the big news-we moved into a new house, got sick from mold, and have been staying with many different for a month and a half now. That doesn't leave a lot of time for blogging. But the second reason is more complicated.

I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago that we had to have an ultrasound to rule out twins. At the time of the post-I was told there was only one healthy baby and I was thrilled. Unfortunately, the next day we got a call from the doctor telling us that it's very likely we actually did have twins and that one of them died.

It's all very strange to me.

I had an ultrasound at 6 weeks, 3 days-only because I was so sick and worried about the mold and wanted to make sure everything was ok. Otherwise-I would have never been given an ultrasound so early. This was the ultrasound that showed two little "somethings/someones". We could only see a heartbeat in Baby A, but the second little figure was kind of hiding, so it was hard to tell what was really going on. My second ultrasound, a week later, revealed only one baby and some "small density matter consistent with an envoluting twin". A third ultraound, two weeks later, showed that whatever had been there was completely gone and only one little baby was wiggling around in my womb.

We just haven't known how to mourn this. For one, we don't know that we had twins for sure. No one has offered any other possibly explanation, but no one has given us a certain answer either.

I'm sad, obviously. If it's all true, then we have a little baby in heaven right now that we will never get to meet on this earth. We won't even get to know if we have a little baby in heaven until we get there ourselves. So it's kind of like a miscarriage? But not. Because I'm still pregnant and this little baby is growing and healthy and right on track. So we mourn. But we rejoice. But mostly-we wonder.

Twins run in both of our families (tons and tons of twins!) so we've always had the idea of twins in the back our heads. Before Hannah, I said I really wanted twins. But boy is one baby a lot of work! Not that I wouldn't love two-but wow. That's some serious graces I would need to gain. During the week we were waiting to find out if there was "one" or "two"-we were both excited and scared. Ted was more excited than I was-I'll admit. But we talked about name possibilities and about going from a family of three to a family of FIVE.

But now we just need to come up with one name. And we'll just be a family of four. And that's ok. It's more than ok-it's more than we ever imagined was possible. But it still feels....weird.

I passed a dad with two twin boys in his grocery cart at the store the other day. I was suddenly overcome with sorrow. "That could have been me. My child will never know their twin sibling. Will we ever know if s/he is a boy or a girl?" It just hit me harder to see it like that. And I'm sure it'll hit me in a different way after the baby is born.

But despite all of this, despite life being absolutely upside down and crazy, despite the sorrow that has surrounded this pregnancy, our second child deserves a blog post. So here are some much needed updates on pregnancy so far:

I was twelve weeks this past Saturday. I thought I was 13 all day until Ted told me otherwise. Ooops.

I'm huge. I purposefully didn't take any pictures during the first few weeks because I already looked like I was in my second trimester. I was so bloated. Still am. I think I look about the same right now that I did at four weeks. (picture coming soon)

I haven't been super sick, but I haven' felt great either. I'm constantly going back and forth between starving and feeling over-stuffed. Certain foods gross me out. I eat a lot of soup and cinnamon and sugar toast. I'm incredibly tired and take a nap every day when Hannah naps. It's bad-I'll leave lunch on the counter and put the food away when I wake up. I'm that tired-I can't even spare 15 seconds to shove some stuff in the fridge.

We're not finding out the sex, just like we did with Hannah. That was the best surprise of my life. It's going to be amazing again. We have a boy name already (what Hannah would have been)  but are not decided on a girl name. Suggestions welcome! (it can't begin with H or end with an "uh" sound and must be only one or two syllables). Ted has a name he loves, but I'm not sold on it yet. It's weird to have to come up with a name-our names for Hannah were decided within a few months of dating!

I've had to stay on progesterone longer than I did with Hannah. I'm still taking the pills everyday and will continue until my levels stay high. I had a slightly scary drop a few weeks back  but everything is ok now.

I went with a midwife for my first appointment (when we noticed the twins) and loved her. I was really excited about using a midwife this time around. However, when my progesterone plummeted and she was unconcerned, I decided to go elsewhere. I've switched to a Catholic OB who has had some training in NaPro and love him. He said I could bring Hannah to every appointment and that if I needed to have any procedures done he'll get the nurses to help watch her!

Hannah rubs my belly when I ask her, "Where's the baby?" And when we pray in the evenings she rubs my belly because she knows we're going to pray for "our little baby". She LOVES babies. Is obsessed with them actually. I sure hope that it continues and she is as excited about having one of her own.

I've been super impatient with getting through the first trimester. With Hannah, everything was new and exciting so I relished every second. But this time around I know how awesome it can be-and the first trimester just isn't awesome. I'm just so anxious to feel this little guy moving around and to have my belly grow so big that even strangers ask when I'm due.

So I promise to take a belly picture soon. And maybe I can have Ted scan some of our ultrasound pictures at work. I'm sorry, sweet second child, that this post has taken me so long. I love you and can't wait to meet you and hope (oh please Lord!) that our life will be a little less chaotic by the time you arrive.

Quick Takes

-1-

Please, please, please join me in prayer for my friends, Those Landrys. A very loooong story short-they have been trying to sell their house (that they are not living in) for three and a half years. They've had three closing dates come and go and now a fourth is in jeopardy. The house is set to be foreclosed August 8th and they are asking everyone to pray a novena to St. Jude that this most recent offer will go through. They've really been through hell and back, lost thousands upon thousands of dollars, tried everything you could possibly think of, and had their faith vigorously tested through all of this. I know you probably don't know them. And selling a house doesn't seem like a huge deal. But please pray with me. Please.

If the novena is too much, just say this in your head right now: St. Jude, please help the Landrys sell their house.


And then say it every time you pass a house with a For Sale sign in the yard!

-2-

Remember when I asked you to pray for this family to receive another child through adoption?? Prayer answered!! I love it!

-3-

Hannah has learned how to smile for the camera. Correction-Hannah is obsessed with smiling for the camera. Of course this new skill would coincide with us not having our camera for weeks because it's in the moldy house, so crappy cell phone pictures will have to serve as proof.

Any my personal favorite. Her first kid's meal. Judging by her excitement, the kid has clearly been deprived.

-4-

Pregnancy update, because ya know-I'm pregnant. Progesterone took a nose dive, got on Prometrium, went back up to a good range! I'm not that sick, but have a hard time finding something to eat that doesn't repulse me. When we pray as a family in the evenings Hannah rubs my belly when we pray for "the baby".

-5-

We have to leave our current apartment tomorrow and move to yet another friend's house. This will be the sixth place we've stayed this month. I'm so grateful for the generosity of friends, but man is this tough. Ted's confessor told him last weekend that this was an opportunity to become more like the Holy Family. They didn't even have a home to for the birth of their baby! And then they had to go to Egypt suddenly and were again without a steady place to live. The thought had never occurred to me. Well my blog says I'm trying to be more like Mary, I guess this is about as good an opportunity as ever.

-6-

And speaking of becoming more like Mary, do you think Mary looked Jesus in the eye when he was being an exceptionally difficult toddler and said, "I'm going to lose my mind!" or "You are driving me insane!" Because if she did, I'm definitely becoming just like her. But if not, I've got a looooong way to go.

-7-

I know part (if not all...) of the reason I've been losing my temper with Hannah so much lately is that I have completely neglected my prayer life. Like completely-really truly. Completely. I was thinking about buying a Magnificat subscription to help me get back into the daily readings and the Divine Office when I remembered that I have a Kindle Fire (my mom gave it to me as an early birthday gift!). I've mostly just been using it for apps with Hannah and checking email. But I found a free app that has the daily readings, the Divine Office, and every prayer you can imagine. This non-smart-phone-owning girl was very excited! So yesterday I prayed Morning Prayer and wouldn't you know......"Just as a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you."

Ouch. I'm glad I didn't need any comforting from God Wednesday. All He would have done is looked me the eye and told me He was losing His mind. And yes, I was much better at patiently comforting my cranky, teething, ornery little tot with the verse in my mind all day.

God is good.