In honor of Infertility Awareness Week, I wrote a guest post for my friend Haley at Carrots for Michaelmas about how NFP and NaPro technology were crucial in our treatment of infertility.
Ok, that's a lie. I had no idea it was Infertility Awareness Week until I saw stuff popping up on facebook. And Haley asked me to write the post months ago. The fact that it went up today is a total coincidence. Or God-incidence? You decide.
It's long. And I promise I was doing my best to be brief! Brevity and me, we've never seen eye to eye.
Either way, check out my post and say an (extra!) prayer for all those struggling to conceive or waiting to adopt. Muchas gracias.
St. Gianna, pray for us!
St. Hannah, pray for us!
Showing posts with label IVF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IVF. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Monday, May 10, 2010
A Possible Explanation
As with all of life's major questions, I'm wondering WHY infertility has to exist. Not so much "why me?" (although I do wonder that as well) but "why at all?" Something dawned on my the other day during my commute and I'm hoping I'll be able to explain my thoughts coherently. Here goes.
Children are gifts. It's as simple (and at the same time ridiculously complex) as that. They are ONLY gifts and they are ALWAYS gifts. No child can ever exist that is not a complete and utter gift from God. As Catholics, we are called to be an example to the world that children are gifts and that human life is precious.
So many Catholic families do a wonderful job providing this example when they welcome children into their homes in large numbers. A family very dear to my heart has nine children (under the age of 12!). They are a living, breathing, in-you-face witness to the fact that children are ALWAYS gifts. No child is unwanted, no child is a burden, no child was created without the hand of God. This family makes people think. They make people uncomfortable. In a world where children are seen as too expensive, too inconvenient, too time consuming, and too much work-this family dares to say, "No they're not!!" They are so pleasing to the Lord because they are spreading His message that children are a gift from Him and should be received with open arms if and when He wants to give them to you.
Another witness to the fact that children are ALWAYS a gift are families of children with special needs. Special needs kiddos have such a "special" place in my heart as a speech-language pathologist. So many families courageously raise children who have the odds stacked against them. They welcome babies into the world despite knowing that they'll have Down's Syndrome or only live for a few hours outside the womb. Children, no matter what kind of problems they may have, are ALWAYS a gift. These families are great witnesses of that.
But even with the great examples of large Catholic familes and parents raising children with special needs, the world is still left wondering why children are ONLY a gift. That's where the infertiles come in. Children are ONLY a gift, meaning they cannot be purchased, demanded, or earned. If God does not wish to bestow this gift upon you, you will not be blessed with the gift of a child. On the flip side of the contraceptive/abortion culture that says children are something to be done away with are those who view children as a right. Both are seriously misguided. Children should not be created in a lab. They shouldn't grow in the tummies of surrogate women who are not their mothers. Immoral practices (specifically masturbation for sperm donation) should never be done so that a couple can have a child.
Maybe it's my responsibility to witness this to the world. You don't deserve children-you are blessed with them. You can't earn them-they are ONLY a gift. When I stand in the back of Mass on Sunday, surrounded by large families witnessing to the blessing of children, I am making just as strong of a statement. It may not be quite as visible, and a lot of people may miss it (or worse-think I'm part of the contraceptive culture), but it's a statement that needs to be made. And somebody's got to do it. And I'm honored that God has asked me to be that somebody.
This doesn't make my childlessness any easier. I still wish I was called to witness to the fact that children are ALWAYS gifts while I loaded them up into our 15 passenger van instead of witnessing to the fact that they're ONLY gifts while driving away in a car without car seats. But knowing that my infertility can do some good in the world makes it a little more bearable. Children are not to be discarded nor avoided nor deserved. And I have the privilege of witnessing to one part of that claim.
Children are gifts. It's as simple (and at the same time ridiculously complex) as that. They are ONLY gifts and they are ALWAYS gifts. No child can ever exist that is not a complete and utter gift from God. As Catholics, we are called to be an example to the world that children are gifts and that human life is precious.
So many Catholic families do a wonderful job providing this example when they welcome children into their homes in large numbers. A family very dear to my heart has nine children (under the age of 12!). They are a living, breathing, in-you-face witness to the fact that children are ALWAYS gifts. No child is unwanted, no child is a burden, no child was created without the hand of God. This family makes people think. They make people uncomfortable. In a world where children are seen as too expensive, too inconvenient, too time consuming, and too much work-this family dares to say, "No they're not!!" They are so pleasing to the Lord because they are spreading His message that children are a gift from Him and should be received with open arms if and when He wants to give them to you.
Another witness to the fact that children are ALWAYS a gift are families of children with special needs. Special needs kiddos have such a "special" place in my heart as a speech-language pathologist. So many families courageously raise children who have the odds stacked against them. They welcome babies into the world despite knowing that they'll have Down's Syndrome or only live for a few hours outside the womb. Children, no matter what kind of problems they may have, are ALWAYS a gift. These families are great witnesses of that.
But even with the great examples of large Catholic familes and parents raising children with special needs, the world is still left wondering why children are ONLY a gift. That's where the infertiles come in. Children are ONLY a gift, meaning they cannot be purchased, demanded, or earned. If God does not wish to bestow this gift upon you, you will not be blessed with the gift of a child. On the flip side of the contraceptive/abortion culture that says children are something to be done away with are those who view children as a right. Both are seriously misguided. Children should not be created in a lab. They shouldn't grow in the tummies of surrogate women who are not their mothers. Immoral practices (specifically masturbation for sperm donation) should never be done so that a couple can have a child.
Maybe it's my responsibility to witness this to the world. You don't deserve children-you are blessed with them. You can't earn them-they are ONLY a gift. When I stand in the back of Mass on Sunday, surrounded by large families witnessing to the blessing of children, I am making just as strong of a statement. It may not be quite as visible, and a lot of people may miss it (or worse-think I'm part of the contraceptive culture), but it's a statement that needs to be made. And somebody's got to do it. And I'm honored that God has asked me to be that somebody.
This doesn't make my childlessness any easier. I still wish I was called to witness to the fact that children are ALWAYS gifts while I loaded them up into our 15 passenger van instead of witnessing to the fact that they're ONLY gifts while driving away in a car without car seats. But knowing that my infertility can do some good in the world makes it a little more bearable. Children are not to be discarded nor avoided nor deserved. And I have the privilege of witnessing to one part of that claim.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Praise God! (and a Rant)
I was literally in tears at my appointment today. But for the first time in a looong time, they were tears of joy! It's going to work-I'm going to be able to ultrasounds and blood work locally to monitor the effectiveness of the Clomid! I met with Dr. L (non NaPro) and started telling him a little about my history. After I convinced him that I was not going to consider Lupron or IVF (see below) he was pretty uninterested in helping me. But then I showed him my surgery report from Dr. G (NaPro). He was very impressed. His actual words were something like, "You have a great doctor. He's done all kinds of stuff that we aren't doing here. Wow-I'm impressed." He then told me that he thought it would be best if I stuck with my doctor (yes!) since he's so knowledgeable in this field. He said that he would coordinate with the lab girls and the ultrasound tech to get me all set up and ready to go. He also said that he wouldn't consider me to be a patient, because he wasn't planning on reading or interpreting any of the results-everything will be sent to Dr. G. This means that I won't have to schedule an appointment with him when I need something done, I won't have to pay for an office visit on top of the ultrasound/lab work, AND I won't have to have him copy the orders from Dr. G-he said the clinic would accept the out-of-state orders.
I'll have to pay up-front for everything, which isn't a problem because insurance doesn't cover anything anyway and we usually just get the rejection letter and pay for it a month later. I'm going to make appointments directly with the ultrasound girl and don't need an appointment to come in for the lab. The ultrasound girl is not really familiar with monitoring follicles, but she has done it before. My doctor is willing to call her and talk to her more about it and she seemed to be really excited about that.
And it gets even better! When she asked if I had any questions, I decided to go for the gold and just casually said, "Would you ever be willing to come in on weekends?" (as the cycle days that I need ultrasounds may fall on a weekend). "I guess," she said, "I don't really see a problem with that." WHAT??? Really? This is the when the tears started flowing.
I was also introduced to a lady in billing who will help me coordinate everything. She told me the prices and, after I sweetly asked, is checking on getting us a discount for self pay. Even if we don't get a discount-it's not TOO much higher than what we were paying in TN. But we'll take every last penny we can get! The billing lady was very sweet and supportive. She told me that her sister struggled for a long time to get pregnant and so she understood how hard it can be. I really think that made a world of difference in her willingness to help me with this. Thank you Jesus! Her sister's infertility is blessing ME in a way that I'm sure she would have never expected!
With that, my doctor (if I can even call him "mine") said goodbye. He told me that I could call him if I ever had an emergency or a serious reaction to the medicine. He also said that if things don't go as planned to let him know and he would take care of it. Then he left.....and didn't charge me for a visit!!! I was sure I would at least have to pay for an office visit. He said it would be "criminal" to make me pay for the little amount of work he did. Wow! Could it have gone any better?!
I am beyond thankful for all of the prayers of my friends, family, and fellow bloggers. You are all amazing! God must really listen to you!
And now, unfortunately, I have a rant. It wasn't two minutes into the conversation and Dr. L was trying to push Lupron and InVitro. I told him we've been trying for a year and half, I have endo and have had two surgeries, my blood work is all good, that ultrasounds have shown my follicles are not producing eggs, and that I'm on Clomid. "So you don't have any follicles..." he said. "No, I have a dominant follilcle, it just doesn't have an egg," I told him. He wasn't listening to me. He then told me that even if I did produce an egg it would be in a hostile environment because of the endo. He told me that IVF was my "only chance" to get pregnant and that no matter how much work I did it was going to come down to that. He said that surgeries don't take care of endo completely and the only way to get rid of it is go on Lupron for 6 months (it stops ovarian function-how is THAT going to get me pregnant??) I thanked him for the advice and politely told him that I had moral objections to IVF (and Lupron) due to my religious background. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "well that's probably what it's going to take." To his credit, he did try to address some of things he suspected I found objectionable. "You don't have to make 15 embryos, implant 5, and kill 4," he said. "You can have the ultimate control over it." (e.g. "You get to play God.") "I understand," I told him, "but it's not an option." I told him that Dr. G had additional training in fertility treatment that didn't compromise my religious believes. I told him that he doesn't refer for IVF. Dr. L said "oh, he does it on his own?" "No," I said, "he has the same objections that I do. To which he replied, "What church do you go to?" (this is a VERY common question in the south). "I'm Roman Catholic," I replied, sitting up a little straighter in my chair and holding my chin up. I was so proud to be able to say that.
My other disappointment during the visit came, not from the fact that he pushed IVF, but because of how little he was able to offer me in terms of fertility. If I was just your average infertile gal consulting my local OB, this is the kind of advice I would have been given. How awful!
Again, thanks for your prayers! Keem 'em comin'!
I'll have to pay up-front for everything, which isn't a problem because insurance doesn't cover anything anyway and we usually just get the rejection letter and pay for it a month later. I'm going to make appointments directly with the ultrasound girl and don't need an appointment to come in for the lab. The ultrasound girl is not really familiar with monitoring follicles, but she has done it before. My doctor is willing to call her and talk to her more about it and she seemed to be really excited about that.
And it gets even better! When she asked if I had any questions, I decided to go for the gold and just casually said, "Would you ever be willing to come in on weekends?" (as the cycle days that I need ultrasounds may fall on a weekend). "I guess," she said, "I don't really see a problem with that." WHAT??? Really? This is the when the tears started flowing.
I was also introduced to a lady in billing who will help me coordinate everything. She told me the prices and, after I sweetly asked, is checking on getting us a discount for self pay. Even if we don't get a discount-it's not TOO much higher than what we were paying in TN. But we'll take every last penny we can get! The billing lady was very sweet and supportive. She told me that her sister struggled for a long time to get pregnant and so she understood how hard it can be. I really think that made a world of difference in her willingness to help me with this. Thank you Jesus! Her sister's infertility is blessing ME in a way that I'm sure she would have never expected!
With that, my doctor (if I can even call him "mine") said goodbye. He told me that I could call him if I ever had an emergency or a serious reaction to the medicine. He also said that if things don't go as planned to let him know and he would take care of it. Then he left.....and didn't charge me for a visit!!! I was sure I would at least have to pay for an office visit. He said it would be "criminal" to make me pay for the little amount of work he did. Wow! Could it have gone any better?!
I am beyond thankful for all of the prayers of my friends, family, and fellow bloggers. You are all amazing! God must really listen to you!
And now, unfortunately, I have a rant. It wasn't two minutes into the conversation and Dr. L was trying to push Lupron and InVitro. I told him we've been trying for a year and half, I have endo and have had two surgeries, my blood work is all good, that ultrasounds have shown my follicles are not producing eggs, and that I'm on Clomid. "So you don't have any follicles..." he said. "No, I have a dominant follilcle, it just doesn't have an egg," I told him. He wasn't listening to me. He then told me that even if I did produce an egg it would be in a hostile environment because of the endo. He told me that IVF was my "only chance" to get pregnant and that no matter how much work I did it was going to come down to that. He said that surgeries don't take care of endo completely and the only way to get rid of it is go on Lupron for 6 months (it stops ovarian function-how is THAT going to get me pregnant??) I thanked him for the advice and politely told him that I had moral objections to IVF (and Lupron) due to my religious background. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "well that's probably what it's going to take." To his credit, he did try to address some of things he suspected I found objectionable. "You don't have to make 15 embryos, implant 5, and kill 4," he said. "You can have the ultimate control over it." (e.g. "You get to play God.") "I understand," I told him, "but it's not an option." I told him that Dr. G had additional training in fertility treatment that didn't compromise my religious believes. I told him that he doesn't refer for IVF. Dr. L said "oh, he does it on his own?" "No," I said, "he has the same objections that I do. To which he replied, "What church do you go to?" (this is a VERY common question in the south). "I'm Roman Catholic," I replied, sitting up a little straighter in my chair and holding my chin up. I was so proud to be able to say that.
My other disappointment during the visit came, not from the fact that he pushed IVF, but because of how little he was able to offer me in terms of fertility. If I was just your average infertile gal consulting my local OB, this is the kind of advice I would have been given. How awful!
Again, thanks for your prayers! Keem 'em comin'!
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