Fuzz

My brain is absolute fuzz. I have no clarity. No peace of mind. No concentration. I've heard about "pregnancy brain" but didn't think it would be like this. It's as if, in order for the baby's brain to develop properly, mine has to completely stop functioning and turn into mush.

I'm off for the entire month until I start work again in August. I'm not sure if being off with nothing to do is contributing to this feeling of fuzz or if it's the greatest blessing a pregnant woman could ask for. Simple tasks like doing the dishes just seem like too much for me to handle. I can't even get up enough energy and motivation to walk to the mailbox everyday. It's seriously weird.  And I'm not complaining. Informing people of what my pregnancy has been like so far isn't complaining.  When someone asks me, "how are you feeling?" I tell them, "nauseous and exhausted." Why lie? That's how I really feel. And it still lasts all day. I'm in a constant state of feeling like I need to throw up....but not quite.

So many topics have been swirling around in my head that are calling for posts, but I just can't find the brain power to put my thoughts into words. I can't seem to be able to articulate any kind of intelligent, coherent sentence. Much less an entire post. I've been reading everyone's posts but hardly commenting. Coming up with any kind of response worth reading has become a difficult task. It seems the only thing I'm able to get out is, "great post!" or, "thanks for writing this!"

Bare with the boringness for now, maybe my brain will return in the second trimester.

Quick Takes (8)

-1-

I have a bump!!!!! It started popping out around 7 weeks but didn't show up in a picture until 8 weeks. Yesterday, TWO people told me they noticed my bump! I was glowing! Ted hears, "look at my bump!" at least 5 times a day. Every time I walk past our bathroom I stop and look at it in the mirror. I used to obsessively check my hair anytime a mirror was in sight-I don't think I've even glanced at it lately (other than fixing it....sometimes). My belly is way more interesting.

I only squeezed on this jean skirt for this picture-it's already too tight!

-2-

If I were given the gift of an all-expense paid shopping trip anywhere in the world, I would pick.....Utah. Those Mormons take their modesty seriously! And they make it look good! Exhibit A (world's cutest swimsuits) and Exhibit B (worlds greatest undershirt-especially for Mississippi). Both are Utah based companies and it seems like every modest clothing website I come across is from Utah. When I showed Ted the undershirts, always the frugal, common sense man that he is, he asked if I REALLY needed them. A blank stare ensued. An undershirt? That won't make you hotter? And will fit me no matter how big my belly gets??? I need five. If Catholics took modesty (and fashion) as seriously as Mormons-can you imagine how good the shopping would be in St. Louis??

-3-

We met some new friends! Two couples that started attending the earlier Mass (same as us) rather than the later one. Who knew there were even MORE good Catholics in this Protestant-run southern state? The two guys like to golf and play poker-Ted is set. And the ladies like to.....talk :) So I'm happy. We're heading out to one of their houses for a BBQ tomorrow and I'm so excited!

-4-

Despite supplying us with plenty of Catholic friends, the South continues to disappoint. I'm really drawn to the Bradley Method of natural childbirth. It seems like a great system. A 12-week course, lots of hands-on training by certified instructors, real-world advice. When I searched for providers online I found two dozen in Missouri! And in our state? One. And she's an hour and half away. Seriously-this state just has nothing to offer. Last night Ted said he wouldn't live here permanently for even a million dollars. The more I teased him about it-the more I realized he was actually serious! "If you got a job that gave us a million dollars and allowed me to have as many kids as we possibly could, stay home with them, and never work another day in my life-we are STAYING." His response? "Only for two years-no longer. The fishing just sucks." God love him.... :)

-5-

Despite the ridiculous distance between us and the only Bradley instructor in the state, it's not out of the question that we might actually do it. We don't have to decide until September, when her next class starts up. She told me last night she's had couples from our town-so we're not the only ones crazy enough to actually consider it. I guess if we drove three hours (sometimes several times in a week) to see our NaPro doctor and GET a baby-we can drive an hour and half to learn how to BIRTH a baby! We'll see....

-6-

Ted was kind of hurt by how many people didn't wish him Happy Father's Day last week. (Thanks to those that remembered!) It's crazy to me that people don't consider you a father (or mother) until the child actually comes out of the womb. We have a baby. We are responsible for this baby. This baby is a living being with a soul that is loved by us and God as much as any baby out of the womb! Last Sunday was Ted's first Father's Day. Next year will be his second. He's not a daddy-to-be. He's a daddy. And he's a great daddy.

-7-

Last night, I heard something pounding so hard against our window that I thought it was starting to rain. I got up to check it out and realized it was actually giant bugs committing suicide by flying full force into the glass. Gross.

Great Post

If you are a fellow blog friend I'm sure you have already read this post by Sew. If you are a friend of mine in real-life, you probably have no idea who she is. But you should stop everything you're doing and go read this post. I couldn't have said it better myself.

One of the commenters states: "holiness isn't mainstream." How very true that is...

And forgive the run-on sentences, she's too passionate for grammar. :)

Quick Takes (7)

-1-

I cried in the aisle at Walmart picking out Father's Day cards. I just spent the last hour watching brides-to-be pick out ridiculously expensive wedding dresses on Say Yes to the Dress and cried every time they found "the one". I think the pregnancy tears are setting in. What fun!

And-I think I have a bump. But only at night. Does that count? Last night I just swore I had a bump. My silhouette NEVER looked like that before. But this morning-it was gone. Maybe I'm just bloated...

-2-

I'm almost positive that I have a new job! I resigned from my position with the school district I've worked for for the past year and am waiting for a contract from a new school district. I was traveling 35 minutes to a nearby town all year and it really weighed on me. This new district is in our town and it will take me about 5 minutes to get to work in the mornings. I just couldn't imagine continuing to drive over an hour a day with nausea, a huge belly, and eventually a little baby. The special education director in town called me and offered me a job the day after we found out we were pregnant!! I didn't even apply! Talk about great timing!

I'm very excited to start my new job in town. It will still be working as a speech-language pathologist traveling to different preschool and day care sites. I'll only have to find someplace for the baby for less than two months before summer will be here. (and we'll figure out the next year when it gets closer-Lord please give Ted a JOB!!). The biggest perk will be the extra hour in my day that will be spent cuddling with my little one rather than driving in my car!

-3-

Speaking of speech-language pathology....I just received my national certification in the mail! To become a full fledged SLP you have to complete a nine month "clinical fellowship". I finished mine in May and got my certification soon after! I will now put the letters MS, CCC-SLP behind my name when signing oh-so-important documents. It stands for Master of Science, Certificate of Clinical Competence-Speech Language Pathology. You know you're jealous of my awesome letters!

-4-

I've already gained 5 pounds. Seriously. How many of you are checking my side-bar ticker to remind yourself how far along I am right now?? Yes-you're reading that correctly. Seven weeks. Five pounds. The baby is technically only 5 weeks old-so I'm already averaging a pound a week! It makes me blissfully happy to know that my body is responding to this little one inside of me. Last night I saw a number on the scale that I have NEVER seen before. I kept stepping off and back on to make sure it was real. Cheesy grin and running into the kitchen to tell Ted ensued. I was slightly underweight before I got pregnant, so maybe I'm actually caught up now (or close to it).

-5-

Remember the neighbors I met thanks to the bunny incident (see #2)? Well we're actually developing a funny little friendship. Last week the mom came down to ask me for some advice on what to do about her ex-husband. We ended up sitting outside and talking for over an hour. I have yet to start working with her little boy because of constant schedule conflicts (or my getting sick) but it is definitely still the plan. My favorite part of the whole friendship is that she sends her two sweet little girls (3 and 6) down the stairs to knock on my door and relay messages to me (it's hard for her to get the little boy out-it's easier for me to come up to her). Last night the girls came down and asked me to come up with them to talk to their mom. The little three year old made it all the way down the steps and across the hot concrete barefoot with no problems. But as soon as we started walking back up she started pouting and asked me to hold her. So cute! I couldn't resist.

The last month has been filled with greetings as we come and go, the sharing of "sugar strawberries" with me by the oldest girl (which are just strawberries covered in sugar!), a gift of sidewalk chalk from me to the girls, and now coming home to homemade hopscotches and Thank You notes written in chalk at our front door. I find it fascinating that we have almost NOTHING in common and yet are starting to call each other "friend". She's a divorced, single mother of three-I'm a married pregnant lady. We don't share the same faith, job, race, or interests. And despite all of that-a unique friendship is blossoming.

-6-

I'm super excited to join Lauren in reading The Reed of God! She's been blogging for some time now, but I only recently discovered her and she is quickly becoming one of my favorite sites to check in on. Her faith is so beautiful and evident in her writings. I know that I am going to learn much from her.

If you're interested in joining her check out this post. I just ordered the book off Amazon for 8 bucks-including shipping! I'm pretty picky when it comes to Catholic books and authors. I'm not one to see the term "Catholic" and assume that it's solid. However, Scott Hahn gave a rave review of the book. That's good enough for me!

-7-

Say some prayers for a potential housing situation that is presenting itself to us. It could potentially mean saving TONS of money and having way more space. It would also give Ted two ponds for fishing and woods for exploring. A dream come true. Hopefully more details to come soon.

Have a great weekend!! Happy Father's Day!

Indecisive

I think this is the fourth time I've changed my blog since I started it in January. I've been wanting something light blue in honor of Our Lady but haven't found anything I like until now.  I have this irrational fear that people won't know it's me if I change too much and will stop reading. That IS irrational right?  Hopefully this one is neutral enough that I won't get sick of it like I did with all the others. Ted doesn't think it'll work. He knows me too well.....

One Beautiful Little Heartbeat!

What an amazing, beautiful, incredible gift from God! Our little baby, only 6 weeks-5 days old, has a strong little heartbeat and we got to hear it!!

Our ultrasound girl knew how nervous we were (she was the same one that did some of our fertility ultrasounds) and promised us she would tell us the second she saw the heartbeat! She skipped the abdominal and went straight for the transvag (thank God!) so we didn't have to have even one second of worrying. I started praying a Hail Mary as soon as she began but only got to the words "full of grace" before I heard the words I will never forget: "I see it and there's a heartbeat." It took me a long time to see it, but I was so comforted by those words that I didn't care. Ted and I both got to see and hear the little thing. It was so wonderful. I could have listened to it all day.

Here are some pictures of our precious little miracle.

This one is showing the heartbeat. 122 beats per minute. Some estimates I read said it should be between 90-110. Our doctor said 110-160. Either way-it's just fine!

This one shows the baby and the yolk sac. The arrow is pointing to the baby. The yolk sac is the circle in the upper left. We could just barely see a little fluttering. It looked more like the ultrasound girl had an unsteady hand and was just moving the probe.

The two lines are the baby's height and width. If you draw a circle around the cross-that's our baby! He's measuring 6 weeks-3 days, two days behind schedule. That's still within range so we're right on track!

I couldn't pass up an opportunity to take my first picture with the baby!

Here's a video of the heartbeat! Turn your speakers up loud to hear it and click the bottom right corner to make it full-screen. At the very end of the video you can hear me say "awesome". That word didn't even begin to describe how "awesome" the whole experience was!

We met our new doctor, Dr. B, for the first time. He's really young, just a year out of school. VERY nice and easy to talk to. The appointment probably lasted a half hour, which impressed me. He made a joke about having heard about me before. I guess I have a reputation for being.....assertive. Yes, we'll go with assertive. I just smiled and said, "yep-you're the lucky one that gets to work with me!" Ha!  He let me ask as many questions as I wanted and didn't rush us at all. He said he's delivered about 80% of his patients' babies (the others were an on-call doctor) and that his C-section rate is only about 10-12%. He doesn't do episiotomies and has not yet had to use forceps or a vacuum.

He wasn't concerned about my racing heartbeat, as long as it doesn't get more frequent or start lasting a long time. He was somewhat concerned with my difficulty breathing. I have a history of strange, undiagnosed breathing issues and have had very bad respiration recoveries every time I've been under anesthesia. He suggested an appointment with a pulmonologist and I happily agreed. All in all, I'm really happy with him.

I had to chuckle when he said, "everything looks great, but you may want to hold off on telling everyone until about 12 weeks, then you'll really be in the clear."  It doesn't get more 'everyone' than a blog and facebook! There's just no way I could keep this miracle a secret!

Thank you, Lord, for our baby's heartbeat. Keep it pumpin'!

The Most Beautiful Faith

Two weeks ago my cousin Jason was ordained to the priesthood. I don't think I've ever been prouder to be Catholic or more in love with Church than I was at his ordination. What a rich, beautiful faith we have! Traditions dating back to the time of Christ. A Cathedral so awesome that your mind can't think of anything but heaven. Music so beautiful that you would swear a choir of angels was singing it. Gospel readings. Incense. Eight men pledging their lives to Christ and the Church.

I'll have to let the pictures do the talking on this one.