Welcoming Hannah: A Birth Story (Part One)

I've written this birth story a hundred times in my head. I've relived her birth over and over and over again-trying to remember every sweet detail.

There were three main people involved in the birth of Hannah Rose. Myself, her daddy, and our awesome doula, Alison. We each have a slightly different perspective and I wanted to include all three. Unless otherwise stated, this is written in my "voice".

Here it is. It's long and it's graphic. But so was my labor. You've been forewarned.

Hannah Rose-this is the story of how you left mommy's womb and entered my arms.

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Friday night, February 4th, we went to our friends' house to play games. I was having severe pain in the ligaments around my pelvis. The pain was sharp and sudden but only lasted a few seconds. I thought, "If this didn't go away so quickly-I would be rolling on the floor in agony." I brought the birth ball with us, as it was the only comfortable place for me to sit at this point. I sat on the ball and did pelvic rocks while we played Bohnanza-a game about bean farming.

We went to bed Friday night hopeful that Saturday might be the day.

At 3:00 am, Saturday February 5th, I woke up with strong contractions. The felt like period cramps (or at least what I imagine a normal person's period feels like). They were mild compared to the pain of endometriosis but required me to consciously relax and breathe through each one. I timed them and found that they were consistently 10 minutes apart. At this point I also started spotting and leaking fluid. I thought that perhaps my water had broken, as the fluid was clear and odorless and came out during contractions. By 6:00 am I could no longer stay in bed, as it hurt to lie down. I got up and started rocking on the birth ball. I let Ted sleep, thinking that this was probably labor and I wanted him to get as much rest as possible. I called Alison, but her phone didn't pick up my call. At this point, I was very excited and happy about early labor. I showered and the contractions slowed, but never stopped. Alison called back at 10:00 when she finally got my message.  She suggested I go for a long walk to help move things along.

It was freezing outside, so Ted and I went to the gym and walked on the treadmills. I had to stop every few minutes to breathe and relax through a contraction. I also had to use the bathroom repeatedly, as I was still leaking fluid. (Thanks goodness I had bought those Depends!) My mood was now very sad. Early labor is supposed to be exciting-but I was miserable. I was afraid that the contractions were going to fade as they had a few days earlier and it was going to be another week before we got to meet our baby. I didn't realize this was actually early labor. Looking back-I have no idea how I missed it. I think I expected it to be much harder than it was.

I spent the day moping and pouting around the house. I read a book cover to cover and cleaned. At one point I noticed that my wedding ring was tight. I struggled to get it off, but knew it was time for it to go in case my hands got any more swollen. I said to the baby, “Mama's ring doesn't fit anymore-it's time to come out!”

Contractions continued all day but I didn't time them. They were strongest if I was lying down-so I kept moving. It still felt like a sick joke. I doubted I would ever meet my baby and I fought back tears all day.

Saturday evening we went back to the gym and I walked for over an hour on the treadmill. 

Ted-She wanted to keep going but I made her stop. I could tell she was overdoing it.

That night, I was overwhelmed with the urge to pack our hospital bag. We were planning on waiting until we were well into labor to pack. I thought we were jumping the gun by packing then, but I just had to do it.  I talked to Alison around 8:00 pm. She suggested I try to get a good night's sleep to prepare for labor the next day. She said that if my contractions didn't pick up by the morning we should start nipple stimulation (which releases oxytocin and causes contractions). She was ready to get the ball rolling, as we thought my bag of waters had been leaking for 17 hours at this point.

When we laid in bed that night, I pulled Ted's hand tight against my belly and wondered if it would be last night we would feel our baby kick. I was so ready to be in labor, but tried to savor the last moments with Ted and our Little Wiggle while she was still in the womb.

At 3:00 am Sunday morning, February 6th, the contractions started to pick up. I couldn't sleep in between them and they were consistently 10 minutes apart. I called Alison and she said she would get ready to leave (she had an hour and a half drive). By 4:00 am they were 8 minutes apart and very consistent. I didn't know it at the time, but this would be the last time my contractions were regular for the entire labor. Nothing about this labor was going to be "regular".

I called my mom at 5:00 am. She and my sister, Jackie, were planning to come down for the birth and had a six hour drive. I hoped they would make it in time (ha!). They decided to go to 7:00 am Mass and leave right after. 

Alison arrived at 6:30 am and slept on the couch for an hour or so while Ted and I labored in bed.  He coached me through each contraction by reminding me to breathe (and not hold my breath), guiding me in some of our visualization techniques, and rubbing me gently to help me relax. By 7:30 we were out of bed and trying all sorts of different positions. The contractions weren't getting and stronger or closer together and I was afraid that this still wasn't really labor. I was embarrassed to have Alison there already, as I thought she was just going to have to turn around and go home.

We moved from the birth ball, to the chair, to standing and then tried them all again. The contractions were painful, but not overwhelmingly so. I started to figure out how to relax my entire body through each contraction. Ted would call out an area that he noticed was tense and I would immediately release it and go limp. Alison constantly reminded me to hum and moan through each contraction, keeping my lips loose and my voice low. This really helped me to save energy-and boy was I going to need my energy! 

At some point I remembered that I had promised to pray for people during my labor. I grabbed the journal I had recorded the prayer requests in and asked Ted to read them to me one by one in between contractions. I repeated the request in my head until the contraction started-then I tried to offer up the pain for each request.

Around 10:00 am Alison suggested we try some nipple stimulation, as my contractions had been very irregular. We turned on the playlist I had created for labor and tried to relax. The song we danced to on our wedding came on, You and I by Michael Buble, and Ted guided me through a visualization of our first dance as a married couple. We spent just a few minutes in the bedroom doing relaxing and doing the stimulation before my contractions became very powerful. It worked so fast that it scared me a little. For the next two hours, my contractions were more intense but still inconsistent.

Ted made me breakfast, a fried egg and ham. We sat around the kitchen table and chatted about all sorts of things. It still didn't feel like labor. I was too relaxed. It was too natural. I was having too much fun. At one point I even laughed and said, "I feel like we need to be more serious," but I just couldn't force myself to "get serious." We talked and talked and when I felt a contraction coming everyone quieted down and helped me through it.

Alison-Upon finishing her last bites of egg she told Ted he had "mastered his egg fryin'" She drank lots of water and also sipped on Sprite to ease her queasiness. Kaitlin was very antsy. She was ready to "propel" into labor.

At noon, Alison suggested more nipple stimulation. Ted and I were in the bedroom for only a few minutes before the contractions became so intense I had to run to the toilet. I sat on the toilet backwards and tried to relax through some very intense contractions. They started to feel like my periods back before I had my first surgery. They were rough and I didn't like them. I had a harder time relaxing through them and could feel my body tense up with each contraction.

This ended up being the hardest point of my labor. I didn't know it at the time, but my good friend Alisha was praying a rosary for me during this exact hour. Mary was with me, whether I realized it or not.

Ted-When we were in the bathroom she began flailing her arms and whimpering. She was restless. We tried to keep her calm the best we could. She was able to relax, but only after the peak of the contraction subsided. She slowly got better and better at relaxing through these intense contractions. She never screamed or yelled but a few times she said, "Ted-it hurts."

Alison-At one point Kaitlin expressed that she felt a bowel movement coming and Ted replied with something along the lines of “Is it going to make it in or are you going to try it like this?” (because she was sitting backwards on the toilet) and Kaitlin questioned confused and exhaustively asked, “Aren’t I on the toilet?”.  The tone of their voices was really funny and chuckled in my head.

I suddenly decided to pack my toiletries bag, as I assumed we would leaving for the hospital shortly. I didn't know we still had hours ahead of us.

Alison-After such a quick change in the contraction pattern due to the nipple stimulation, Kaitlin stopped to pack her toiletries.  They finished some last minute things, and Ted moved the beautiful bassinet his father made into their bedroom.  This was definitely a transition point as Kaitlin got out the decorations and cake mix for the welcoming home of their soon-to-arrive little one.

At this point, I was torn as to what to do. If we continued the nipple stimulation my contractions would continue to become harder and harder. If we stopped, labor wouldn't progress as quickly as I wanted it to. Contractions were still completely irregular, even though they were strong and powerful.  Six minutes, two minutes, sixteen minutes, one minute, four minutes. This continued for hours.

After an hour or so of contractions in the bathroom, I was hungry for lunch. We usually do our grocery shopping on Sundays, so we had absolutely no food in the house. Ted made me a bowl of chicken noodle soup that was in the back of the cabinet and he defrosted one of the meals I had frozen for the weeks after the birth. We sat around the table again and talked while we ate lunch. I had a knot in my back and it was making it hard for me to concentrate during contractions. Ted and Alison took turns trying to massage it out and Alison held a heating pad on my back for what seemed like a really long time.

We continued to labor at home all afternoon. I squatted and swayed my hips and rocked my pelvis back and forth. I tried to constantly move during contractions to make them more productive and bring the baby down into the birth canal. 

I asked about going to the hospital but Alison said it was too soon. I knew it was too soon-but I just wanted a change and hoped that it would somehow magically make my contractions more regular just being at the hospital.

Around 3:00 pm Alison suggested I try to take a nap. It seemed to weird to me that I would be able to nap during labor, but my body knew I needed a rest and my contractions naturally slowed. I woke up several times during the nap to deal with a contraction and didn't like handling them while lying down. At one point Ted tried to pull me up in the middle of a contraction and I couldn't find the words to tell him to stop. I hit him on the chest to make him leave me alone. It was the only time throughout the entire labor that I wasn't able to voice what I was thinking.

Alison-While she slept Ted and I smiled at the baby’s movement as Kaitlin’s belly changed from a perfectly round ball to bumps and hills. 

After my nap, we worked through a few more contractions. They become somewhat regular-an average of four minutes apart-but I still had the occasional one minute break and 10 minute break in between. After an hour of this, Alison suggested we go the hospital.

Alison-Although I was hesitant about it being time, her moaning of the pressure on her perineum and getting mentally stressed made me think that in her case it might be good to get there and get settled before it got any later in the day. She seemed pleased with the decision but definitely started to say maybe it was too soon and that she just wanted it to be time. 

At this point, I was totally with it and not very serious. We had spent so much time learning and memorizing the emotional signposts of labor and we knew that you should reach the "serious" signpost before heading to the hospital. I felt that it was too early to go to the hospital because I was still able to make jokes and talk rationally in between contractions but I didn't know what else to do.

Ted-One of the books we read during the pregnancy said that if your wife can still smile for a picture before heading out the door for the hospital-it's too early to leave. Katie joked that she could still smile for the camera and tried to convince us that it was too early.

At about 4:30 we started loading up the car to head to the hospital. I stepped outside and discovered it was a warm and beautiful day. As we walked to the car I said, "I wish we could just have the birth outside! It's so nice out!". We passed a neighbor and I excitedly said, "We're going to have a baby!"

Definitely not the serious, focused mindset I expected to be in by the time we left the house.

But here we were-on our way to the hospital after 15 hours of active labor, 39 hours since contractions had started, leaking fluid and with irregular contractions, and as happy and calm as I could be.


Read Part Two here.