The Beginning of Advent

I'm re-posting an oldie today to go along with the Little Holy Days Link-Up at Carrots for Michaelmas. I wrote this post on Christmas Eve, two years ago. We were 34 weeks pregnant with Hannah after dealing with two years of infertility. This Advent, we're again in our third trimester with a sweet miraculous child. And, as the last line of my reflection states, these last two years with Hannah (not quite two yet!!!!!) really have been an Advent, a preparation, for the little sibling that grows in my belly. If you take the time to read it, I hope it helps you prepare your heart for Christ's coming this Christmas in your own personal and unique way. And, if you are dealing with the pain of longing for a child, know that I'm praying for you in special way this Advent.

I realize that today is the last day of Advent, as we will celebrate Christmas at 5:00 pm Mass in just a few hours. Even so, I find myself reflecting on Advent's beginning. No, not November 28-just four short weeks ago-but Advent's real beginning-thousands of years ago.

Ted and I read a passage about Advent by Scott Hahn the other night and something dawned on both of us as we read it. I couldn't even tell you the line or phrase that jolted our thoughts, but we both had the same thought at the same time:

Advent didn't begin with the Annunciation. Mary's "yes" didn't put Advent into play. Advent marks the time from the beginning of history up until the moment Christ took His first breath. The entire world was in "Advent" for thousands of years as they awaited a Savior.

Yes, that may be strikingly obvious to some, but I had never really thought about that. I always thought of Advent as beginning when Jesus was miraculously conceived and ending at His birth in Bethlehem. But Advent is about waiting for our King and the waiting began long before Mary ever walked the earth.

It made us think about the events of history that brought us slowly out of Advent and into the time of redemption. The prophets of the Old Testament telling of the coming of the Messiah. Mary's immaculate birth and life spent preparing herself to be Christ's mother. Her visitation to Elizabeth and the leaping in the womb. The long, arduous walk to Bethlehem. And, of course, the silent and holy night that Mary gave birth to our Lord.

I've reflected often this Advent season on my own Advent, my own waiting period for my baby to be born. I've tried to prepare myself to be a worthy mother for this wonderful child. I've changed my eating habits, exercised more, taken my vitamins, and studied until I couldn't study anymore. In the same way, I've prepared my home for Christmas by decorating a tree, thawing out a turkey, and setting up our Nativity scene. But I've also been preparing my heart. Even if the baby blankets aren't washed and the crib isn't ready, it's my heart that really needs to be prepared for what's about to take place just six weeks from now. And so it is with Advent, it's much more important that my heart be in tune with Christ's than my tree be the prettiest on the block. It's much more important that my thoughts be directed towards thanksgiving for my Savior than my turkey coming out perfectly.

One more thought flowed out of my head when I first realized that Advent didn't really begin with Jesus' conception. My Advent, my time of waiting and preparing for my precious baby to be born didn't begin with her conception either. I've been waiting and preparing for this baby long before s/he was ever nestled in my womb. All the months of negative pregnancy tests, the surgeries, the medicine-these were all physical preparations, little Advents, bringing me closer to the birth of my baby.

But it goes back even further than that. If I really reflect on my life up to this point, I realize that my entire life has been a preparation for this little one. Whether conscious or subconscious, deliberate or passive, I have been waiting and preparing to mother this child for 25 years. Ted said that the studying we did in high school in order to get into college, the work we did in college in order to get a good job-all of this was preparation to be parents, whether we meant it to be or not. The years we spent dating, engaged, and married were strengthening the bond between us, preparing us for the difficult moments that surely lie ahead.

I remember the very first time I went to Ted's house the summer after we started dating. He was so excited to show me his collection of fishing rods that he had stored in his dad's garage. He had entered (and won-obviously) a local fishing contest for at least the last five years and the prize was always a fishing pole. He didn't need the poles for himself (he had plenty!) but he saved them and imagined giving them to his kids one day. He was just a kid himself and he was already thinking about his future children.

The time I spent playing sardines in my backyard with the neighbors. Summers spent taking bike trips to get Pepsi slushies and laffy taffy. Every childhood event and memory will serve to make me a better parent. Hopefully a parent that remembers what it was like to be a kid and encourages my own children to spend the entire day on their bikes and gives them change for Pepsi slushies, even though I know it's incredibly unhealthy.

My Advent is finally about to culminate with the birth of our first child. Hopefully, even the time spent raising this little one will be its own Advent for future siblings still to come.

Check out Haley's blog for more Advent posts!