Welcoming Luke (Part 1)

Although I naively hoped I would meet baby #3 before the due date, I hit the 40 week mark on Thursday, February 5^th. 

Ted and I had our third “due date night” at a local steakhouse and tried once again not to get too anxious. Friday was uneventful and Saturday was Hannah’ s birthday. We had been keeping the actual day of her birthday a secret (we’re terrible! I know!) because I was worried that she’d be upset if we were away at the hospital on her birthday. Late Friday night Ted proposed that we tell her since it I hadn’t shown any signs that labor was imminent.  At 8:00pm we crept back into her room and told her the exciting news. She was so thrilled and, thankfully, not at all curious as to why she had no idea that the next day was her birthday until that moment. She asked if we could go to the park and make cupcakes. I went to bed Friday night actually excited that I wasn’t in labor and instead looked forward to celebrating my firstborn’s fourth birthday the next day. Seven hours later, around 3:00am, I woke up with contractions.

It was an odd mix of excitement and guilt. I couldn’t believe our bad luck. They were too painful to sleep through so I got up and labored alone in the bathroom for a while.  I contemplated texting my doula but resisted. After three hours of strong contractions that were ten minutes apart, it completely stopped. I was bummed and confused but glad we would all get to celebrate Hannah’s birthday together as planned. 

We had a fun day as a family and I went to bed hoping that the next day would be it.

Sunday morning I awoke at 1:00 am with strong contractions coming every seven to ten minutes. I also had the “bloody show” that was the starting point of labor with both of my other births. This was promising and I was excited. I labored alone all night but, by the time Ted woke up, labor had completely stopped again. I was sure that it would return since it had been so strong and decided that we couldn’t go to Mass (30 minutes away) because I was clearly going to have the baby any minute. This was my third after all! I walked up and down our street all morning and walked over four miles but contractions never returned. It was a terrible day emotionally and I went to bed incredibly sad and anxious.

Monday I had a break from the night labor and then light contractions throughout the day. But around 3:00 am on Tuesday they started up again. Strong and regular and I was unable to sleep through them. They became closer together so I woke Ted up and told him I thought this was finally it. We packed some last minute things for the hospital and went downstairs to eat before leaving. Since we live 40 minutes from the hospital and had to wait at least 30 minutes for our on-call sitter to get to our house, we had planned to leave for the hospital as early as possible. Ted made bacon and eggs and while we were eating, contractions started to fizzle. I’d been in active labor for three hours when, once again, contractions completely stopped. It was starting to feel like a sick joke. We cancelled the sitter and put the bags back in our bedroom.

Tuesday I decided to work from home because dealing with the kids was more than I could handle at this point. I called a babysitter and retreated for a day to myself. I called my midwife and moved my scheduled appointment up from Friday to the next day, Wednesday. I called a friend’s dad who is a chiropractor and made an appointment for Thursday morning in case baby still hadn’t made an appearance. And I texted and complained to just about anyone who would listen. By this point I hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in days and was completely exhausted. But every time I tried to rest contractions would come back and keep me from falling asleep.

I went to bed Tuesday night full of dread, knowing I wasn’t going to get any sleep and that I also wasn’t going to meet my baby. I was right. At 10:00pm on Tuesday the contractions returned. Far apart but strong. I tried to go to sleep anyway and not be fooled for the fourth time. But by midnight I was miserable. We got up, packed the bags again, and made bacon and eggs again. And just like that, they slowed to a halt. We were so frustrated and exhausted at this point that we slept in the living room for the rest of the night. I had to get up every ten minutes to deal with contractions but they never got closer together. At 3:00 am I frantically texted my friend with tears streaming down my cheeks begging her to pull some strings and get me in to see her dad (the chiropractor) for help. She texted back (late night nursing mom to the rescue) and assured me she could get me in. I got absolutely no sleep that night and Ted didn’t get much either.

I asked Ted to stay home from work Wednesday morning because I was completely spent. It’s hard to even put into words how terrible I was doing. Emotionally, mentally, physically drained. I was losing my mind. I had been in labor, on and off, for five straight days and it felt like there was no end in sight. Ted stayed home with the kids while I went to the chiropractor at 10:00am by myself. He told me my pelvis “was twisted up like a pretzel” and said it was no wonder that the baby couldn’t descend. A quick adjustment and a few minutes with a vibrating massager on certain points of my back and he sent me on my way. He was incredibly confident I would have the baby within 24 hours.

That was at 11:00am. At noon on Wednesday I ate lunch then tried to take a nap. Contractions kept coming and didn’t allow me any sleep. They felt a bit different, but I was really trying not to get my hopes up at this point. I drove back into town that afternoon for the appointment with my midwife. We considered having Ted come with me, but I didn’t want to deal with finding a sitter for the kids or bringing them along. Hannah was sleeping but I hugged Paul goodbye and secretly savored the moment just in case it was the last time I saw him before he became a big brother. My doula and friend, AC, offered to come to the appointment with me so I met her there at 3:00. I had several contractions on the drive there, one that was especially difficult. Thankfully, I was at a red light for that one. I started to worry that coming to the appointment alone might have been a bad idea.

Contractions continued in the waiting room and I realized for the first time my contractions weren’t going away during the day. I had had several nights like this but they never carried into the day. I told my midwife about our five day saga and begged to be checked immediately. My jaw hit the floor when she told me I was 4-5 cm! She suggested “sweeping my membranes” and I said “absolutely!” She also asked me to do a non-stress test and hooked me up the monitor for a half hour. I relaxed and breathed through contractions and chatted with AC in between. Halfway through she came in checked the strip, told me I was having contractions every six minutes, and that I would not be driving back home that afternoon.

Finally! It was so good to have some confirmation that yes, these were here to stay and I was actually going to the hospital for real this time. I called Ted and lined up the daytime on-call babysitter and texted my parents to “leave now.” They were driving from Missouri (13 hours) just like they had with Paul’s birth. Only Paul’s was so long that they made it to my room just moments after he was born. Surely this time would be different, right?

My midwife suggested I go get something to eat and then check into the hospital. She sneakily recommended I tell triage I had been 3cm at my appointment to guarantee they’d keep me thinking I had progressed quickly to a 4.

AC and I decided I shouldn’t drive anymore and we transferred my stuff into her car and left my vehicle at the office. Contractions kept getting more and more intense and I remember wondering if I should go to the hospital right away and skip food but I wouldn’t say it out loud. I still had a fear that this would all come screeching to a halt.

AC drove me to Moe’s, my restaurant of choice. It was bizarre laboring in her car. In between contractions we chatted and hung out like we were just two high-schoolers headed to the mall. So very different from the beginning of Hannah and Paul’s labors which started in the middle of the night and so were so intimate between me and Ted. While ordering at Moe’s I had a strong contraction. The girl behind the counter asked what I wanted on my quesadilla and I just turned my back to her and swayed through the contractions for a minute, then turned back around and said “cilantro.” She said, “Are we having a baby today?” and I excitedly said yes. Then a moment later she jokingly asked “For here or to go?” Her face when I said, “For here,” was priceless. But I wanted my food and I wasn’t about to try to eat it in the hospital waiting room!

Contractions kept getting stronger and closer together and I felt antsy to get to the hospital. AC wanted to stop for a toothbrush on the way to the hospital because she forgot hers and was being super considerate of my sensitive nose. But when she started to pull into the pharmacy I kind of freaked out and knew I just couldn’t wait any longer. She consented and took me straight to the hospital.

We got to triage at 5:45pm. Ted was still at home with the kids waiting for our friend, Mary, to get there with her kids. I knew it would be a while before he could join us and I was very grateful AC was already with me. Getting into triage was slow and contractions just kept on coming. I changed into the gown and got checked. 6cm! Very encouraging. They didn’t have any rooms available and told me I would be in triage for a while.

I made the best of laboring in triage and got into a rhythm despite the noise, bright lights, and constant interruptions. I sucked on gummy bears and practiced a lot of non-focused visualization with the purple tulips on the wallpaper.  Ted finally arrived and reported that the kids were super excited that it was baby time but even more excited that their friends came over. He brought in the birth ball and we squeezed it into our tiny triage space, which helped a lot. The nurse messed up on inserting the IV for the heparin lock and called in another nurse. That nurse also had a hard time and suddenly my entire forearm was bruised. The pain from the needles was worse than the pain of labor! It took them four tries to finally get it right and my arm was sore for more than a week after.

After more than hour in triage we were finally taken to a room. We kept the lights dimmed and AC spread white Christmas lights around the room to make it more relaxing. I fell into a rhythm between the birth ball, leaning on the sink, walking around the room, and squatting. I sucked on honey sticks and gummy worms and drank a lot of gatorade. 

Contractions were silent and I didn’t want to be touched. That was hard for Ted. During the last two labors I wanted his physical touch almost constantly and he had a very important role in my relaxation. I think that because labor started without him I had figured out a way to relax by myself and I had a hard time switching it up. He struggled with being passive while I was in so much pain so I tried to hold his hands when I could and asked him to hold the heating pad on my back.

There was still some confusion about who was coming to watch the kids for the night and our texts weren't getting through to the sitter. Ted could have (and was) taken care of it, but it was hard for me to relax not knowing if they were 100% covered. Finally, we connected with the sitter and I ended up with some cute pictures of them playing with their friends and an adorable text from Hannah with lots of heart emojis. 

So far, labor had been progressing quickly and I was handling contractions really well. We kept up with our rhythm and thought it would be just a matter of time until we met our baby....

(stay tuned!)