Quick Takes (11)

-1-

Quick Takes are my favorite posts to write. They take very little brain power and even less creativity. I like that.

-2-

After our ultrasound on Monday, this pregnancy has been much more real. I mean, we KNEW it was a baby before. But now we know that it LOOKS like a baby too. We've been talking more about more and "when the baby gets here" and giggling about how excited we are. Ted talks to my stomach every morning and night. I catch myself just standing in front of the fridge starring at the ultrasound pic (and kissing it). It's really fun. And very special. And I'm soaking in every second.

-3-

There is nothing in the world more beautiful (or sexier) than coming to the bedroom at night and finding your husband laying in bed reading the baby book you had on your nightstand. Nothing.

-4-

I'm in love with a new Catholic artist. Audrey Assad. Complicated Life mentioned her in a post. I usually don't follow links from other people-but I'm glad I checked this one out. Absolutely stunning voice. Thought provoking lyrics. And Catholic! And not just any Catholic-a convert! The best kind! I know exactly what I want for my birthday in two weeks!

Audrey Assad - Love is Moving - Cornerstone Chandler - Worship from brianwurzell on Vimeo.

Go here to hear more. Every song I've heard so far is brilliant, but the one from the video is particularly breath taking. I love when I find a new song/artist that lifts my soul to heaven, helps me to pray, and makes me feel like the angels are singing it. They are rare and very valuable.

-5-

Speaking of angels...Ted and I were talking about our guardian angels last night and had some interesting ideas. I was saying how neat it is that I have two guardian angels following me around all day now (one for me and one for the baby!). Ted told me I actually had three because he "sends" his guardian angel to be with me during the day while he's at work. Isn't it true that if you "send" your angel to be with someone else you still have their protection too? Where did I hear that?

We then started talking about whether or not our guardian angels are friends. I scripted the conversation that could have happened between our angels and the baby's angel at the moment of conception: The new angel swoops in and both of our angels rejoice because they know it means I'm pregnant. The baby's angel introduces himself and they start getting to know each other because they realize they're going to be together for a looong time. Or when I get home from a weekend away, do our angels hug and tell each other they missed each other just like Ted and I do?  I'm so excited to find all that out in heaven.

-6-

I think I'm moving into that glorious second trimester. My nausea is almost completely gone and I'm back to being able to eat just about anything. Thank goodness we had the ultrasound on Monday or I would be a nervous wreck!

-7-

Stop by Karen's blog and offer some prayers if you can. She's entering the Church this weekend!

Enjoy your weekend!

From Her Humanity

Nothing I could ever think of or write about would be as worthwhile and the reflection I want to share with you. It's from The Reed of God by Caryll Houslander. Lauren is hosting a book study on it and I am blown away by every single line. This reflection on Mary as pregnant with Jesus especially stood out to me. I just had to share.

Working, eating, she was forming His body from hers. His flesh and blood. From her humanity she gave Him His humanity.
Walking in the streets of Nazareth to do her shopping, visit her friends, she set His feet on the path of Jerusalem.
Washing, weaving, kneading, sweeping, her hands prepared His hands for the nails.

Every beat of her heart gave Him His heart to love with. His heart to be broken by love.
All her experience of the world about her was gathered to Christ growing in her.
Looking upon the flowers, she gave Him human sight. Talking with her neighbors, she gave Him a human voice. The voice we still hear in the silence of souls saying, 'Consider the lilies of the field.'

Sleeping her her still room, she gave Him the sleep of the child in the cradle, the sleep of the young man rocked on the storm-tossed boat.

Breaking and eating the bread, drinking the wine of the country, she gave Him His flesh and blood; she prepared the Host for the Mass.
 
What an amazing and truly awesome responsibility. To be the Mother of God. We can't turn to Mary often enough. We can't ask for her intercession too many times. She was closer to Jesus than any other human being ever was and ever will be. And she gives herself to us today as a model of grace and an intercessor before the throne.
 
We are so, so blessed.
 
Lord, let every beat of my heart, every step I take, every prayer I pray, and every moment I spend in rest bring my baby closer to You. Let the love I show to others imprint Your love on my baby's soul. Help me to model my life after Your Blessed Mother. Help me to be a worthy mother to the precious soul which you have entrusted to me.

Miracle on the Screen

We had our second ultrasound today! It was even more amazing than the first because it actually looked like a baby! All those fears and worries melted away as soon as I heard our u/s girl say, "Well, it's an active little thing-squirming all over the place!" I couldn't see the screen yet and said, "He moves???" "Oh yeah," she said, "moving so much I can't keep an eye on him."

Movement=heartbeat=alive=we're still having a baby!!

Ted was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed. It was truly amazing.

We, of course, took a video and I'm so glad we did because I could watch that little bean swim around all day long. Although he calmed down a bit by the time we got out the camera, we still saw some amazing tricks! At one point it even looks like he waves to us! And his thighs are so cute-I just wanna pinch them. I saw his brain and it's huge-we're going to have one incredibly smart baby :)

LOVE that little leg!

I couldn't believe we could see the face so clearly. Ted is trying to decide whose nose he has.

"Hi Mom and Dad!" That's a little hand!

Doing his daily neck exercises. It just blew me away that he could lift his head. Crazy!

I love that you can hear Ted smiling and laughing in disbelief in the background. He's framing an ultrasound picture to take to work as I type this.

164 beats per minute! Music to my ears.

Our visit with our OB went pretty well. Nothing to complain about. We checked my progesterone for the first time in 4 weeks and it's still in the 80's! It's mind boggling to me that my body is working. And not just working-but working overtime! My NaPro nurse said those were the best numbers she's ever seen! I like to picture the little bean just swimming around in a huge pool of healthy progesterone. Keep it up kid.

And I realized I used "he" and "him" throughout this entire post. We both feel like it's a boy today-but that changes. I think we feel that way because of a kid we saw at Walmart yesterday. Probably about three years old, he was walking through the aisles with his dad carrying his brand new Spiderman fishing pole, Spiderman tackle box, and Spiderman sunglasses. Ted was grinning from ear to ear and said in all seriousness, "that'll be the best day of my life." Strangely enough, it will be one of the best days of mine too. And today also makes the top 10 list!

**It's also mind boggling to me that babies even farther along than ours are still aborted in their mother's womb. You can't watch that video and tell me that's not life. There is no argument that will ever be convincing.

Ultrasound Tomorrow!

Our second ultrasound is tomorrow. I'll be 10 weeks, 5 days. Prayers please-I am having some serious nightmares.

Decision Time

Alright, I have a confession. I never really considered going private. I just wanted all those lurkers to show their face! Ha-tricked ya!

No-I am TOTALLY JOKING!!! I would never do that-promise.

But I did make a decision on whether to go private or stay public. I know people are nosy curious about what caused me to think about going private, but since this blog is still public I can't share much. Basically, I found out that someone was reading this blog that made me a bit uncomfortable. Embarrassed actually. And I didn't want this person to be able to read anymore. But after talking it over with Ted and doing some soul searching on what the real purpose is for this blog-I decided I can't go private because of one stinkin' person.

And it's not like it was even a safety issue. Just an embarrassment issue. And embarrassment isn't a good enough reason to send THIS blog into hiding. When I first started blogging I sat down with Ted and talked about what my purpose was. The thought that kept coming back to mine was consistency. I wanted to have a consistent life. I wanted to be the same person to my Catholic friends as I was to my non-Catholic friends. To my family as well as strangers. It's easy to defend the Church's position on birth control when I'm sitting in a room full of amazing Catholics all getting ready to pray the rosary. Not so easy surrounded by people you know are on the pill. I wanted something to FORCE me to be consistent. To preach the Gospel even when it was hard, inconvenient, or scary.

When I started this blog I had no idea that other Catholic infertiles were out there. I mostly started it because I wanted to share our IF journey with our family and friends without having to tell every single person. Because of that, I sent the link out to virtually everyone I know. Catholic and non-Catholic alike. Then I discovered the amazing world of Catholic bloggers and was blown away. I quickly identified with them and began writing to them as my primary audience (hey-they were the only ones that commented! thanks girls!) It's like I forgot that other people were still reading. People that disagreed with me. People that didn't like me. People that even made fun of me because of my beliefs.

So what did I do when faced with embarrassment because of the truths I've written on this blog?? I ran away. I reacted in typical hasty fashion and almost went private to avoid any embarrassment from ever happening again. My first true blogging test of faith-epic failure.

But I'm dusting myself off and picking myself back up. I'm NOT going private. My thoughts are here for anyone to read. Make fun of me if you will. Laugh at me with your friends. My thoughts and feelings are rooted in the biblical truth of Christ's gospel and that is NOTHING to be ashamed of!

I admit that finding out how many people were actually reading (from comments and private emails) was astounding. I figured there were one or two lurkers out there-but wow! And some of the comments just pushed me over the edge for staying public. And while these comments weren't good for fostering humility, they did make me grateful that I've helped people with my journey. Whether I'm just a Catholic person for someone to identify with who doesn't know a lot of other Catholics or someone who can offer hope to the couple struggling to have a baby-being able to help others from the comfort of my own living room by simply sharing my story is one of the greatest blessings of my life.

So thank you. Thank you for reading. Thank you for commenting. And thank you for praying. (Because wow-I learned how many of your are praying!!). Thanks for sharing along in my journey to truly become more like our Blessed Mother.

Quick Takes (10)

-1-

I'm still contemplating going private with the blog (read yesterday's post if you haven't yet) but haven't made a final decision. [By the way-nothing creepy or scary has happened. Just weird. Don't worry about me :)] I talked with Ted about it (who ALWAYS helps me clarify things!) and still need to spend some time in prayer asking Jesus what my purpose is for this little blog. So until I make a decision, I'll keep it public. But I'm loving the lurkers coming out from their hiding! Welcome!!

-2-

I had the BEST time at a friend's bachelorette party on Monday! Why would a bachelorette party be on Monday you ask? Because we went to Six Flags of course and had to beat the crowd! The entire day was a complete surprise to the bride and I had such a great time just hanging out with most of my close friends from college (Linds and Ash-you were missed!). We even had t-shirts made for the event (thanks Jude!). Here are a few pics:

Me and some friends on one of the TWO rides I got to go on!

The shirts said "Preparing for the ride of a lifetime." Get it? Marriage. And roller coasters. We're so clever!

The gang with Sylvester.

-3-

God answered a very specific prayer request when it came to the party. We started planning it in November and I prayed, "God, please let me be the purse holder when we go to Six Flags!" I so hoped I would be pregnant and wouldn't be able to ride any of the rides. Roller coasters are among my favorite pastimes-but it was definitely more gratifying to watch my friends enjoy the ride while I watched from the sidelines, knowing I was taking care of the little life inside me.

-4-

I went to Mass this morning! And before anyone offers me any congratulations on getting up at 6:00 am to make it there, know that this is the FIRST time I've done this all summer. I went almost every day last summer and have spent this summer sleeping in and being lazy. And yes, I realize I'm in my first trimester and need to take it easy-but come on! I'm off work! I can just come right back home and take a nap! No more excuses-I need to get to Mass more often.

-5-

Since I was home by 7:30 I took the opportunity of actually being awake to clean the inside of my car before it got too hot out. I had to stop by 8:15 because it was already approaching 90. Oy vey. I need to go to the pool.

-6-

I told the girls at the baby shower the other night that I was more nauseous when I'm home than anywhere else. When I got back from my trip to Missouri last week I was nauseous within 15 minutes of stepping inside, whereas I felt great for almost the entire trip! They suggested it was a candle or something in the house causing it. I got rid of our reed diffuser thingy and voila! No more nausea! At least for the past two days. So goodbye nausea and hello stinky house!

-7-

Ted and I have an awesome weekend ahead of us! We're going fishing tonight on Ted's newly remodeled boat. Tomorrow we're forcing ourselves to get up early and go to the Farmer's Market so I can start eating a little better. Autism Support Group later in the day. And a bbq on Sunday! Woo hoo!

Going Private??

I may need to go private. I REALLY don't want to because one thing I love about this blog is all of the people that have found it and encouraged and prayed for me along the way. But it might be necessary.  I'm nervous about how this will affect my blogging. I need you, my readers, to let me know if you would continue reading. I need to know if you would ask for an invitation.

And lurkers, I'm talking about YOU! I know there are people out there who have been reading all along and have never commented! I know this because I do it all the time on other blogs! So if I know you in real life, you found me off facebook, or came across this blog randomly-I need you to speak now or forever hold your peace.

If you're embarrassed-don't be. I'm kind of a facebook/blog stalker myself so I totally understand the mindset. I just want to know if I'd still have enough readers to make my blog worthwhile if I went private. I will let virtually anyone read if they ask for an invitation (except the person who is causing me to go private...) so LET ME KNOW!

Leave a comment, send me an email on my personal account if you have it, or email me at morelikemary@hotmail.com.