Quick Takes

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Please, please, please join me in prayer for my friends, Those Landrys. A very loooong story short-they have been trying to sell their house (that they are not living in) for three and a half years. They've had three closing dates come and go and now a fourth is in jeopardy. The house is set to be foreclosed August 8th and they are asking everyone to pray a novena to St. Jude that this most recent offer will go through. They've really been through hell and back, lost thousands upon thousands of dollars, tried everything you could possibly think of, and had their faith vigorously tested through all of this. I know you probably don't know them. And selling a house doesn't seem like a huge deal. But please pray with me. Please.

If the novena is too much, just say this in your head right now: St. Jude, please help the Landrys sell their house.


And then say it every time you pass a house with a For Sale sign in the yard!

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Remember when I asked you to pray for this family to receive another child through adoption?? Prayer answered!! I love it!

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Hannah has learned how to smile for the camera. Correction-Hannah is obsessed with smiling for the camera. Of course this new skill would coincide with us not having our camera for weeks because it's in the moldy house, so crappy cell phone pictures will have to serve as proof.

Any my personal favorite. Her first kid's meal. Judging by her excitement, the kid has clearly been deprived.

-4-

Pregnancy update, because ya know-I'm pregnant. Progesterone took a nose dive, got on Prometrium, went back up to a good range! I'm not that sick, but have a hard time finding something to eat that doesn't repulse me. When we pray as a family in the evenings Hannah rubs my belly when we pray for "the baby".

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We have to leave our current apartment tomorrow and move to yet another friend's house. This will be the sixth place we've stayed this month. I'm so grateful for the generosity of friends, but man is this tough. Ted's confessor told him last weekend that this was an opportunity to become more like the Holy Family. They didn't even have a home to for the birth of their baby! And then they had to go to Egypt suddenly and were again without a steady place to live. The thought had never occurred to me. Well my blog says I'm trying to be more like Mary, I guess this is about as good an opportunity as ever.

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And speaking of becoming more like Mary, do you think Mary looked Jesus in the eye when he was being an exceptionally difficult toddler and said, "I'm going to lose my mind!" or "You are driving me insane!" Because if she did, I'm definitely becoming just like her. But if not, I've got a looooong way to go.

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I know part (if not all...) of the reason I've been losing my temper with Hannah so much lately is that I have completely neglected my prayer life. Like completely-really truly. Completely. I was thinking about buying a Magnificat subscription to help me get back into the daily readings and the Divine Office when I remembered that I have a Kindle Fire (my mom gave it to me as an early birthday gift!). I've mostly just been using it for apps with Hannah and checking email. But I found a free app that has the daily readings, the Divine Office, and every prayer you can imagine. This non-smart-phone-owning girl was very excited! So yesterday I prayed Morning Prayer and wouldn't you know......"Just as a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you."

Ouch. I'm glad I didn't need any comforting from God Wednesday. All He would have done is looked me the eye and told me He was losing His mind. And yes, I was much better at patiently comforting my cranky, teething, ornery little tot with the verse in my mind all day.

God is good.

Wean

is definitely a four letter word.

We're on day four of stopping cold turkey. And I'm crying waaay more than she is.

Abruptly stopping nursing is one of those things I said I would never ever do unless I was hospitalized with a deadly disease or something. But here we are-seventeen months old-eating my words.

My milk has been gone for five weeks now-it disappeared just five days after conception and never made a reappearance. And although Hannah has held on strong-she is definitely not getting what she wants. She requests nursing all the time but then is frustrated and angry when she doesn't get any milk. She's become very clingy and whiny and nursing doesn't help like it used to, it only makes it worse. And then there's sleep. And my extreme need for a good night's sleep with the exhaustion of this pregnancy. And the only way that Ted can put her back to sleep when she wakes up is if she forgets the boob was ever a possibility.

So we stopped. And I just say no when she asks. And it's so, so hard. She's a champ. And easily distracted by an endless supply of blueberries and puffies (another thing I said I'd never do...). I think weaning off the puffies might actually be harder than weaning from nursing. And when she hurts herself I just kiss her and hug her and give her more puffies. And at naptime I just tell her I love her and lay her in her crib. She cries for about four seconds. I cry for about 40 minutes.

I know it's best. I know it is. But I hate it. Although it would seem like this is the worst time to do this-with her whole little world being upside down and sleeping in a different crib every other week-it's actually working out to our favor. She doesn't see her nursing chair in the living room all day long. She has lots of new toys to distract her. And if everything about her life is going to be different overnight-might as well do everything at once.

Ted has to constantly remind me why we're doing this. He can see it from a different perspective. He knows how much it is starting to hurt me and drain me and cause me frustration. He can see that Hannah isn't getting what she wants. And he ever so gently reminds me that I now have two babies to take care of, even though one cannot be seen.

It just wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be so natural and easy and gradual. "Child-led weaning" right?

I just can't stop crying. I put her to bed tonight for the first time because Ted is at a meeting. I sang her all the songs I usually sing but standing up instead of in the rocker. And I sang them through tears. And she didn't even ask to nurse. In fact, I think she only asked one time today. One. When the girl used to nurse anywhere from five to 12 times just four days ago. And she didn't cry when I laid her down. Instead of my arms and breasts to comfort her, she had her baby doll.

She's too big. Someone please stop time. I love all the new things she's doing. I love seeing her grow and learn and change. But right now I just want my baby back. To hold her and rock her and nurse her as long as she'll let me. And the thought that I'll never get to do that again is paralyzing.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who gets this upset about weaning. And if you aren't already too busy praying for our house to be fixed and for us to find a place to live, could you pray for this situation too? Not for Hannah-she's really just fine. For me.

Quick Takes

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We have been living with Ted's co-workers for an entire week now. And we haven't killed each other. They haven't even gotten on my nerves! I don't know if they would say the same thing-but they are very, very gracious and acting like they don't mind us being here at all. They've given up their son's bedroom, his bathroom, their guest bedroom, and their laptop for me to write this post. They've made us dinner almost every single night.

We've got good friends.

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We move to the unoccupied apartment of another friend tomorrow. I think I'm going to be kind of lonely.

I am such an extrovert.

-3-

We had an ultrasound today! (Thursday, yes I'm breaking the rules and posting this early.) I had one just six days ago and couldn't even tell which end was up. But today (7w5d) I could see our sweet baby's head and little arm buds. Amazing.

Why did I have to a second ultrasound so soon? To rule out twins! Ahhhhh. There was only ONE happy healthy little baby on the screen today. But for the last six days we've been wondering if there were two in there due to a fuzzy ultrasound and an extra little "something/someone". Ted was ecstatic. I was worried sick. Twins would be awesome-if I didn't have to be the one to birth and nurse them and try to get some ounce of sleep. Yeah, yeah-I'll take whatever God's give me. But I'm glad that for now He's just giving me one.

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Ever since my friend Colleen did her Kickstarter, I've been looking at all the other cool projects on there. I obviously can't afford to donate to every one that strikes my fancy-but sometimes certain projects really stand out. Here's another one from Florida. And I don't really have to donate-I just have to buy honey. Raw, pure, delicious honey. I buy honey all the time anyway-I may as well help this sweet couple out when I do it!

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And although I don't get anything for donating to this amazing family (unless I win the Mac Book....) I'm really, really hoping they meet their goal and are able to bring their sweet son home from Hong Kong. He has Down's Syndrome and I'm just a sucker for those cuties. So precious. God's gifts.

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While I'm plugging worthy causes, do you know of anyone who is pregnant and considering adoption? This beautiful family is looking to adopt and feels called to spread the word through the blogosphere. Their little E (what an incredible adoption story!) needs a sibling! Contact Lori if you know of a birthmother whom she can bless.

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A cute story about my cute girl.

Today I went to get her out of her carseat and she turned her head away from me and closed her eyes. When I unbuckled her she made her entire body dead weight and pretended not to notice me. Then she just giggled and giggled, all while keeping her eyes closed and head turned. She thought she was just so clever. :)

I fall more in love with her every day.

In Which I Explain My Absence and Describe the State of Affairs

The short version:
Hannah is sick.
I have a sinus infection and am nauseous.
We are currently homeless and staying with Ted's coworker.

The long version:

So we got this amazing offer. If I would have written the blog post months ago, it would have been littered with excitement and gratitude. Ted works for the state on a wildlife reserve. There is a home on the property (a doublewide trailer). And his boss offered to let us live there for practically free if we just keep an eye on the boat facility.

A gift from God! The reason He must have brought us all the way to Florida! The break we've needed in a spiral of crazy high cost and of living coupled with a strong desire to be a stay-at-home-mom.

Or so it seemed.

The home was in bad shape. Bad, bad shape. The previous tenant smoked and had animals and just generally didn't take care of it. Ted's office spent thousands of dollars fixing it up. We're talking completely new roof, entire walls replaced, new kitchen floors. It was kind of fun actually-we got to pick out paint, shingles, flooring-and didn't have to pay for any of it! We were assured that the place would be safe to live in.

I was dreading living so far out of town (it's about a 30 minute drive) but was excited about having three bedrooms, a huge front porch complete with porch swing, a gigantic backyard (a fenced in portion and thousands of acres beyond the fence), and the opportunity to save hundreds of dollars every month on rent.

So we moved last Thursday. Well, we tried to. The AC went out and we had to pack up an overnight bag and head bad to our old place to sleep on the floor. Then the AC got fixed and we moved back out on Saturday. And were met with the most awful smell you could imagine. We knew it was smoky, we knew there had been mold, but we were told it would be removed and aired out. It was not. The smoke smell was suffocating. And within just a few hours I started getting sick.

After three nights I was really sick. So sick that we couldn't stay. We packed another overnight bag and went to a co-worker's apartment for a few nights. Mold inspector came out to the house-mold.

Then Hannah got sick. And is still sick a week later.

I'm finally feeling better thanks to the antibiotics. Nothing like a sinus infection to turn my  I hate antibiotics they are totally overused and good gut flora is sooo important during pregnancy into an emphatic give me drugs NOW!

But still very nauseous.

And we still have no place to live.

Things are in the works. More mold being cleared away, air ducts being cleaned. Ted's bosses have been wonderful. But it's going to take time. Nothing happens quickly when it has to go through the efficiency of government bureaucracy. And even then there is no guarantee that it will be up to my standards for raising our family in. So we're staying with another coworker for now. Bouncing back to the first co-worker's tomorrow. Then on to a friend's who will be out of town for a few weeks.

I wish I could muster the energy to even share my thoughts on all of this, but this post has already taken it all out of me. I guess to sum it up: I'm incredibly grateful for friends-especially ones that we've only known for a few months (even weeks!) and have opened their homes to us. I'm grateful for a clean place to stay and clean air for my baby girl to breathe. I'm grateful for a healthy pregnancy despite all of this stress. And of course I'm grateful for a husband who is beyond amazing through all of this. But I'm also incredibly run down, overwhelmed, and exhausted. I'm sick of wearing the same three outfits over and over again because all of my clothes are in the trailer. I'm sick of worrying about mold and smoke. And I'm homesick and just want my mom, Missouri, and the support that only family can give.

If you can spare a few prayers, could you offer them for this entire situation and for Hannah to feel better soon?

And I have an ultrasound Thursday. That should be a bright spot in this crazy saga!

Stayed tuned for the next episode of Our Lives are Crazy Who Actually Comes Up With This Stuff

The Dos and Don'ts of Tropical Storm Debby

I may be a Florida newbie, but I think I've already figured out how to survive my first tropical storm. It hasn't stopped raining in two days and there's no end in sight. But here are my tips for surviving Debby.

Don't bother changing out of your pajamas for the entire day. You aren't going anywhere and no one is going to come see you.

Do take advantage of the fact that there wasn't any lightning and fill up the bathtub for use as a pool. Get in with your toddler and splash wildly.

Don't bother doing laundry in your outdoor laundry room. (I wish I could have taken this advice, but dangit I needed clean underwear.)

Do hide behind the recliner any time your toddler starts playing on her own so as to not interrupt the fleeting moment of peace and calm.

Don't freak out when the electricity flickers.

Do blow bubbles. Lots of lots of bubbles.

Don't bother taking your carload full of stuff out to your new place. Even though you have to be out of your house by Saturday.

Do chase your toddler around the table. Over and over and over again.

Don't give up on discipline when that same toddler tries to climb onto the table for the fiftieth time in an hour.

Do mentally write your blog post in your head to keep from going insane talking to someone who never talks back.

Don't stick to your no-tv rule. Turn that thing on. Leave it on all day.

Do sit at the window watching and listening to the rain.

And do take advantage of the endless entertainment a camera with a self timer has to offer.

Why I Love My Husband (13)

I really need to write out the details of our newest sweet little baby. And update on our housing situation (we're in full blown moving mode and it's CRAZY!) But instead I'll throw a Why I Love My Husband post up. They're much easier to write and take far less mental energy. He's just easy to love!

I love my husband because he rubs my belly and talks to our little baby. More often than I do-I sometimes I'm forgetting I'm even pregnant! It's just too surreal.

He kisses my belly goodnight.

He holds me and reassures me when I'm crying because I have no milk for Hannah and she's so, so so very upset about it.

He moves stuff out to the truck in the rain and doesn't ask me to help. He just lets me read articles online and check Pinterest.

He suggests we eat spaghetti for lunch and dinner today. Then leaves his plate on the table to he can reuse it and save on dishes. Some wives might not think so highly of that. I think it's resourceful!

I married a gem.

Another Miracle

Last Saturday, the three of us went out to eat at a fancy Italian restaurant. Because, you know, that's what we do when we

FIND OUT WE'RE PREGNANT!

We're both still in shock. No meds. No  ultrasounds. No nothin'! We're so grateful that God is growing our family and making Hannah a big sister!

I'm five-ish weeks. I got a progesterone shot on Tuesday and am waiting for the lab results from my HCG.

More details to come. Probably more details than anyone cares to know. But I'm already so excited to record the wonderful little details of our second child's life!

Thanks be to God!