Praying for Friends

In early May the blogs were buzzing with news of miraculous pregnancies. I was going through yet another period and failed cycle. It seemed like  blessings were being poured out to everyone but me. Women who had been trying for 4 years or more found themselves pregnant by the grace of God. Announcement after announcement revealed the power of the Holy Spirit. And I felt alone.

But just a few short weeks later I joined the ranks of women who could announce pregnancies. I became a mommy and life has been so different ever since.

The past few weeks, the blogs have been filled with women who have either received children through adoption or are becoming increasingly close to bring home their adopted child. So many women have wonderful news of birth mothers selflessly giving over their children, due dates drawing near, and holding their precious child in their arms the very day they were told they were going to be parents.

So many times in life it seems that blessings come in packs. And, unfortunately, it seems to be the same for heartache.

In the last week or so five bloggers have dealt with miscarriage. Five amazing, beautiful women who don't deserve this pain. For some it was their first pregnancy. Others have suffered this far too many times. Others have received devastating medical news with the results of their miscarriage. And others are praying that their baby makes it as I type this.

It seems like every day I tell my husband that a dear blogger friend has lost their baby. My growing belly and excitement about my upcoming baby shower are bittersweet.

I'm 14 weeks along. Surprisingly, these sad announcements don't make me scared for own baby (any more than I already am of course). I'm so overwhelmed with sorrow for these women that I honestly can't think about myself, which is rare for this selfish blogger. Tears stream down my face as I fight to get through these posts. It's. just. not. fair.

Life is precious and if miscarriage teaches me nothing else, it teaches me that. God gives and God takes away.

When I've mentioned to friends or written posts about my fears surrounding miscarriage, I've sometimes been dismissed as a "typical worrying pregnant lady". And yes, I realize that ALL pregnant women have at least some fear of loosing the child in their wombs. And while I don't mean to glorify sorrow in any way, there is a fundamental difference from a typical woman fearing miscarriage and a woman who has endured infertility fearing miscarriage. That difference is the gut wrenching, deep in your soul, stomach sinking feeling that if you were to miscarry, you may never have another chance again.

This is not to say that having a baby after miscarriage could EVER replace the baby that you lost. That is absolutely false. But for someone who had to undergo surgeries, ultrasounds, injections, blood work, and countless amounts of pills just to bring that baby into existence-loosing a baby is doubly hard.

Although I don't dwell on miscarriage on a daily basis-it's never far from my mind. And I know that if we loose our little bean, we might never have a chance to have an earthly child. Our conception was a miracle (not that all aren't). And who knows if God would ever bless us with that miracle again.

I'm not writing this post to be morbid. I hope I don't upset any of of the dear women who are currently struggling with this, I'm sure this was a thought they've already realized. I am simply asking anyone who reads this blog to pray for these five women. To be understanding to the pain and heartache that miscarriage creates, especially for someone who had to fight so hard to get pregnant in the first place.

St. Gianna, pray for us.
St. Gerard, pray for us.