Sucking It Up Instead of In

I realize I'm not an overweight person. Not even close. I'm scrawny and teeny and weigh much less than the average adult. Even pregnant. But. This doesn't mean I'm in shape. Or healthy. Or happy with the way I look.

And that's what really matters right? That I'm actually healthy and able to do some basic physical activities without getting winded? And that I feel comfortable in my clothes without having to wear control top underwear and sucking in for pictures? That kind of thing is fine for a while postpartum, but I'm over it. I'm tired of not having energy for my kids in the morning or my husband in the evenings. And I'm coming to the sad, sad, sad revelation that I'm actually going to have to work for it.

I have always eaten whatever I wanted and been very, very small. In high school I worked in an ice cream shop and ate my weight in ice cream. I also drank at least 50oz of Pepsi each shift. (Felt really great about that decision later in life when I found out excessive dairy and caffeine contribute to endometriosis and all my cramps.) I never had to give a second thought to what I put into my body. I was a size 0 and had a beautifully flat tummy with defined abs from cheerleading. (No, it is not a sport. But it did give me a six pack.)

And I know that a postpartum mother of two isn't supposed to have that body anymore. I don't even want that body. I don't want to look like my 16 year old self, but I do want to look better than I do right now. And, more importantly, feel better than I do right now. But I really hate working out. And sweating. And doing anything that requires self discipline, of which I have very little. But reading blogs  about other women actually working out every day will make you feel pretty dang lazy for sitting on your butt and complaining about your pouchy tummy. I've read numerous accounts of Grace and Ana and Hannah sweating their butts off to Jillian Michaels and living to tell the tail. But it wasn't until I read Jen's account that I decided I need to suck it up and start working out. I mean, if a work-at-home, homeschooling, mother of six can do this, surely surely I can find the time.

I went with Jillian Michaels - 30 Day Shred. Mostly because it was only $1.99 on Amazon Instant Video. And because Jen made a playlist for it that I might utilize in the future and I liked her choice of Eminem paired with the Litany of the Saints. I remember some friends of mine in grad school used to get together and watch The Biggest Loser every week and work out together. I also remember thinking they were nuts and that I had no desire to join them. But here I am. Paying money for the Biggest Loser coach to yell at me and tell me to keep going. And although I have no desire to "lose 20 pounds in 30 days" I do want to tone up, shape up, feel better about myself, and avoid having to buy new clothes.

So while the kids were both napping today (woot!) I turned it on and sweated my butt off. I did Level 1 and forced myself to do all of it when I really really wanted to quit halfway through. In complete honesty, I was sweaty and out of breath during the warm up before she even said "Let's get started". I made it through though. It was hard. And my legs still feel like jello eight hours later. I was honestly worried about picking Paul up out of his crib because my arms were so wiggly when I finished. And I didn't even use weights! (any idea what I can use in my house for weights so I can avoid buying some? Don't say cans. There is no way in heck.) Thankfully, he slept long enough for most of it to wear off. When Hannah woke up we made a smoothie. That just seemed like the type of thing someone who works out would do. And I'm doing to do it again tomorrow. Dangit. I really hope I can stick to this.

And while we're on the subject of working out: I can't do a sit-up. At all. Ever. I physically cannot make my body do it and can't make my brain tell the muscles to move. I've never been able to do them. In a physical education class in college we had to pair up and count how many sit-ups we could in one minute. I did zero. I spent the entire minute trying to figure it out. And this was when I was in shape! I bring this up to ask anyone reading this blog, Can you do a sit-up?? If the answer is "heck no!" and it's not because you're pregnant, please comment and tell me that I'm not alone! Thanks in advance for helping me settle a long term argument with Ted about being the only person in the world that can't do a sit-up. I think it has something to do with my long torso and weird back curve, but he says I'm full of crap.

And please know that I am NOT seeking affirmation to make myself feel better or wanting anyone to say that I don't need to work out because I already look fine. I really do suck it in for every picture and am too vain to post anything that's remotely true to life. Embarrassing, but true. I also want to note that I'm not obsessive about this nor do I lack perspective about what a healthy body should look like. I'm fine, really. I'm just sick of not being in shape.

And (#3) this post contains an affiliate link. Because I decided to stop caring if anyone thinks I sold out and just take whatever free pennies come my way. Go buy the DVD through my link and help me get rich beyond my wildest imagination.