And a picture of my giant baby.
I felt a lot cuter in this before I saw the picture....
Shirt: Passed on to me by my mother-in-law when she didn't like the way it fit.
Skirt: JC Penny (I bought it with one of those $10 off promo cards and it was only $10 in the first place. So it's like I stole it.) (I never get those in the mail anymore. Shocker.) It's actually a strapless shirt. The bottom lace had sequence that I removed.
Shoes: Walmart
Earrings: Fake black pearls from some cheap store.
Neckalce: Real pearl from Ted. Can you combine two different types of pearls? I'm not so sure it worked. Too bad I didn't have a pink pearl bracelet, then I could have played it off like I was celebrating the Trinity.
This is my first time trying the shirt-tucked-into-the-high-waisted-skirt fashion. I'm super late to catch on to this trend and I'm still not quite sure how it looks on me. Does the skirt need to be higher? But then it's too short... I tried this ensemble out at a ladies' night earlier this week to see if I was crazy. When I asked Ted what he thought, he hemmed and hawed and finally told me to ask Summer. She approved. Hopefully she wasn't just being nice. I thought that pulling the skirt up to my waist would hide my stretched out, flabby belly better than shirts do. I think it worked? That and the sucking in.
I actually wore it with a white sweater because I just can't do sleeveless at Mass. Am I alone on this one? It just feels wrong to me. Like I'm showing too much skin to everyone who sits behind me. I try to picture myself standing before Our Lady before each Mass and decide if she would approve of my outfit. She never seems to approve of sleeveless for me. And it was chilly in church anyway. Maybe Mary was just looking out for my comfort this morning? I used to be against sleeveless all together. But I guess I've relaxed that stance. It's flippin hot in Florida and I'm pretty sure I've worn sleeveless all week.
Oh boy. I just went back and read the post I just linked to. I was against shorts shorter than my knee too. Wow. Just bought a pair this past week! I guess a lot has changed since having two kids. I don't hold myself to the same standards I did before. Perhaps a bit of reflecting on this is in order.
I would love a discussion on sleeves in Mass (and shorts in general) to erupt in the comment box. Go!
Happy Feast of the Holy Trinity! Where would we be without the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? I shudder to think about my life with our Triune God.
Thanks to Fine Linen and Purple for hosting, as always.
I think you defiantly pull off the tucked in shirt look. And I agree, I don't go sleeveless at Mass either, just a tad irreverent for me and no need for it.
ReplyDeleteI think that second shot's just an awkward angle - straight-on never works for me. But I love the trend! Super-forgiving for that post-partum belly (which is WHERE on you? I cannot believe how little you are and how big Paul is!!!). I'm a little bit tempted to add more skirts to my wardrobe and just make it my go-to look, but it's a little impractical with all these kids!
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't go sleeveless at Mass either, but everywhere else is fair game once it gets hot here!
ReplyDeleteI think you look great with the tucked in look and totally pull it off. And now I'm trying to think of skirts I have that it will work with!
ReplyDeleteI totally end up adding a cardigan to every outfit before I leave for Mass. And I was against bare shoulders before we spent last year in Florida, but the heat in Naples had me on the bare shoulder bandwagon within days (outside of Mass too). Of course for the comments I got on my blog about it mean I'm totally afraid to post any pictures now where even my elbows are showing because... apparently a lot of people had opinions to share and I'm apparently a wimp about those types of comments!
I think you look lovely! I have no idea why you didn't like the way the pictures looked! And love how you changed the shirt to a skirt.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was about 13 an old holy priest told me that no sleeves was inappropriate in church and I never wore it again!:) so I agree with the sleeves in church!
ReplyDeleteSkirt is super cute!
ReplyDeleteI don't do sleeveless at Mass...I only wear tanks inside the house...I'm getting older and feel naked and so immodest in tanks. So I don't leave house in them. I throw on cover ups over everything without sleeves. But I feel it thins me out too....
ReplyDeleteBut it's not hot here in the south yet! Lol
I actually haven't worn pants to mass since pregnant with B--go me!!!
I got a cute 1980's polka dot high waisted skirt from thrift store! I love of with white top, black belt and fun jewelry!
I'd add a belt to the skirt with high waist. It will also cover your big ol'belly fatty cakes! ;) lmbo!
Read your original post and wondered how I missed it- then saw it was May 2010- just when I started blogging. REad through comments, too, and made me really miss Ann. :(
ReplyDeleteThis is heavy on my mind lately, too. I feel I dress pretty modestly- though I have shorts that are longer and shorts that are shorter, and do wear sleeveless, but thicker cap like sleeves. We've started attending a Latin Mass with a strict dress code and suddenly my awareness is heightened. some of that is good- but not all. It's distracting to me in Mass- "are people lookign at what I'm wearing and judging me? I'm doing my best here, people! I'm wearing a veil for crying out loud!" Today my girls wore sleeveless dresses- again thick sleeves, but didn't cover their upper arms- and I forgot to grab their sweaters (which they probably appreciated as the church is literally (probably) 80 degrees, sheesh- if you want people to dress modestly try turning down the air!) and I was super defensive of THEIR outfits the whole time. This is a real hang-up for me.
I need to go to bed. Why am I still typing??? Good post.
Agree with the sleeve thing! But generally I prefer the look of sleeves on most people. So I'm thinking it's vanity not modesty. On my part. * sigh * I can't win.
ReplyDeleteI think you look adorable! And I second Sew. Try a belt. I think it will just complete the outfit.
ReplyDeleteI agree, no sleeveless in Mass. And again, like Sew, I do t wear sleeveless out of the house much. It's more that I'm getting older. Once I turned 30 I just felt too old for it. But you never know, like you said, it's flippin hot in Florida.
As for shorts, it depends. I'm not comfortable in them, but, I think they can be ok. It depends on the length. I don't have a hard rule for length...it needs to more than cover your but and if like me, you have bigger legs, I think they should come past the inner part of your thigh. So I guess closer the knee length.
I remember that post. :) it really inspired me to look at my wardrobe. And with the exception of the end of my pregnancy with Hannah where nothing fit, I havent worn pants to Mass since Mary-Grace was born.
I don't wear shorts or sleeveless tops to Mass but outside of Church I just wear whatever's comfortable. I use the same rule for myself as I use for my three year old-keep your underwear a secret (for me this is more an issue with bra straps then with panties, but it's the same basic principle right?). The whole modesty question was really complicated when I was a teenager and trying to dress sexy and modestly at the same time (yeah, it was tough) but honestly, now that I'm surrounded by a sea of children, often greatly pregnant, and wearing styles appropriate for a woman approaching 30 it just isn't as much of an issue. If a toddler could conceivably pull my swimsuit right off, I'm not even tempted to wear it.
ReplyDeleteI've wondered the same thing about fake pearl earrings with a genuine pearl necklace. My real pearl earrings just don't hang right and I'm not buying another pair. So right or wrong, I'm gonna keep doing it.
1. My blog got way less reflective and more mundane too. I am not sure how I feel about it. I still like your blog, just don't know if I like mine. :)
ReplyDelete2. Playing with clothes with a post-partum body sure is a challenge isn't it? I think you look cute, but agree about a belt. Also, about a year ago I started researching body types and fashion and realized that no matter the trend, you have to dress for your body type. Huge wake-up call for me because all these cute, flowy, flimsy fabrics had come into style, and they just.didn't.work for my tiny frame. I needed to accentuate curves, not cover them. This gives me more peace about "falling behind" on trends, haha.
3. I too can't seem to go sleeveless at Mass. I know it's not aloud in Rome, and that doesn't help. But I do think a woman can dress very appropriately sans sleeves. Just doesn't seem to be me!
*allowed. Yeah, maybe my blog stinks now because I can barely follow grammar rules anymore. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is where I am for Modesty, for myself (not judging anyone else). I used to go to Mass in the morning often, so I what I wear to Mass I also wear everyday. I don't go sleeveless. I wear a cardigan on myself and try to put one on each of my four daughters. The baby and the toddler often gets a pass--if I can't find a sweater for them, I just leave the house. I shrug it off with a prayer. I say "I'm doing my best here God." If I didn't bend sometimes we'd be late to church (or the library or where ever we are going).
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm running around town, I like to wear a Jean Jacket. (I'm in the mountains of West Virginia, so far hotter than Florida).
I don't feel "dressed" or "finished" if I walk out of the house with bare shoulders. Somedays, I'll do it if I'm in a hurry. But I feel weird.
For me, modesty works on so many practical levels. For example, I'm still breastfeeding. So having one extra layer of a sweater or jacket means that I'm not worried about embarrassing leaks. Also, that sweater or jacket can act as an emergency blanket in case I need to feed the baby in an awkward public place.
So for me, I like to wear something on my shoulders. I like to wear a skirt. If it's not to hot, I like to wear leggings under my skirt so I'm not worried as I run after a toddler.
And I hate, hate shopping right now. It's a pain to find modest clothes that look good on a post-partum body, are washable, cheap AND pretty.
Oh Anna, that made me giggle. "If a toddler could conceivably pull my swimsuit off, I won't wear it." What a mental picture! A practical argument against wearing dental floss maternity suits to the beach this summer!
ReplyDeleteOh and I'm going on a trip with my husband for our anniversary. Three days, two nights, no kids! I'm laughing because after 10 years, I don't have enough "date night clothes!" I think I'm down to one "go to outfit" in my closet. This post is inspiring me to get creative for this weekend. Thanks Kaitlin!
ReplyDeleteYou look great in the tucked-in, high-skirt look! It's one of my favorites because I think it flatters everyone! And your baby is so sweet.
ReplyDeleteI actually will wear a sleeveless dress (not a shirt) to Mass, but only one with nice thick straps that cover my shoulders (i.e. truly only sleeveless, not missing some of the strap, too!). It is almost impossible to find dresses with sleeves that fit me well and that I can nurse in, and I can't do an cardigan in the summer (but will wear one when it's cold). It is very hard sometimes to find good clothing, so I try to just make sure I am wearing something that is neat and clean and as modest as I can make it. Being as respectful as possible while also resisting perfectionism (so hard!) is the most important thing, I think.
ReplyDeleteNo AC or fans in church + 100 degrees + lots of people = sleeveless for me. I'd pass out otherwise.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting topic. I used to be a modesty freak. I suppose by normal standards I still am, but as my ideas become less new to me, and as I become older and have a greater sense of what it means to be a woman, a lot of things that I saw as "modesty rules" become more...precepts of graceful living?
ReplyDeleteI grew up in the snow belt (the only place I want to live) and lived there (various cities, same latitude) until I moved to DC in 2008. While in college I spent several years dressing very immodestly; when I became a "revert" I adopted specific modesty rules. No skirts above the knee. No sleeveless tops. No tight/revealing cuts (which at the time meant I wore endlessly baggy and hideous floor-length skirts. DO NOT DO THIS). I ran for exercise, and on the hottest days of summer, I ran in pants. (I never found this to be a problem.) Then I moved here, where the weather is imported straight from Hell, and I cannot wear pants in the summer - which means I basically cannot run outside in the summer. This weather has also relaxed my "no sleeveless" rule. I don't think huge sweat-stains are modest, either, though...
So here are my rules, and the reasons for them - as you see, some are for modesty, and some have nothing to do with that. First, I prefer skirts. I think they just have more class, and in the height of summer here, as aforementioned, it is too hot for pants at all. (I can only imagine how rough the ladies in the deep south have it.) However, I have zero MORAL objection to pants; in cooler months I wear jeans or khakis sometimes. I've read through the Padre Pio and other comments and I've heard the notions about men staring at women's backsides. With respect, I don't buy it. Jeans or skirts - the attention they draw to your body has entirely to do with how they are cut. (I may focus more on tailoring because I know how to sew and tailor; I think a lot of people underestimate the importance of cut and fit, not just for modesty purposes but in general.) So, take a good look in the mirror before you buy.
In the summer, I wear skirts a few inches below my knees, always always with heels (usually wedges). I am tall with long legs (though no longer thin!); I know this is a difficult look to wear for women who are not so tall. The heels help, both for the less-tall and for the no-longer-so-trim . This is a retro length, and a decided "look," but I think it's very feminine and it is definitely my look. I don't want to fuss with my skirt when I sit down (least of all in Mass). So, I put a skirt back on the rack if it is too tight or too short. But those are merely vetoes. I won't actually BUY anything unless it gives me a nice waist, drapes smoothly over my (difficult-to-fit) hips, and makes my legs look elegant (with the right shoes). Is this vanity? Sure. Yes. But not because I want anyone to think I'm "hot" - for that goal, I would eat only spinach and wear shirts with no pants, as many women seem to around here. My bottom line is that I will not buy or wear clothing (unless for gardening or exercise) unless it makes me look beautiful. And I believe every woman should be using that same criterion - rigidly - in buying clothing. Vanity is a sin; but beauty is equated with truth and goodness. You do the math.
[Apparently I've written a book. Well...I guess I'll just put the next volume of the manuscript in a second comment...]
[and I really am sorry for the length...]
ReplyDeleteSo, continuing on - suit skirts go straight to the knee (because A-line skirts are hard to find on conservative suits and straight skirts are hard to wear longer. I won't buy a suit with a shorter skirt, but the whole point of wearing a suit is to blend in, so I don't wear anything anachronistic to work. I used to, and it worked very poorly). In the winter, I wear skirts 1-2 inches ABOVE the knee or floor-length skirts, because I wear them with tights and boots, and if the skirt is slightly below the knee, its hem will cross the boot tops, and it looks sloppy (and the tights and boots cover a lot of skin). Again - beauty is the point here, and modesty naturally follows.
I have abandoned my "no tight clothing means wear a sack" approach. My skirts are appropriately tailored for my body (thus, I can buy some cuts and not others - every woman has to figure this out for herself), which means they fit WELL. I never wear them if they are actually snug, and I never wear them actually loose. Wearing clothing that looks like someone else's is inelegant, especially for work.
I do not wear shorts at all because I dislike Bermuda shorts and "city shorts," and the shorter shorts simply show too much skin. Some people like Bermuda shorts, and I accept that we simply have different taste. Such is life!
I have a couple of sleeveless sundresses that, in my opinion, are not inappropriately attention-seeking. I wear them to church Sundays because I prefer to dress up for church. [I am of the wear-what-you've-got-on philosophy for daily Mass, because Sunday is the Lord's day, and I'm dressing for that; weekdays I have to dress for other things, and if I get to daily Mass, that is the important win.] I almost always grab a cardigan on my way to Sunday Mass. Sometimes I forget, and I don't really fret about it. Outside of church, I don't worry about sleeveless, but I don't wear spaghetti straps and if my bra straps won't stay hidden I have to fasten them with safety pins.
I absolutely do not wear low-cut shirts, though I cut a little more slack for very narrow v-necks if the design of the garment is otherwise becoming, and the total square inches visible are few and you "can't see anything."
In my view, the bottom line for every outfit (and I would love to convince all young women of this!) is, "How expensive do you look?" Not how expensive the CLOTHES look - I buy almost everything at thrift stores. The idea is, simply: if a man looks at a woman across a party or a bar or what-have-you, he should conclude that he needs to spend all night getting up the nerve to talk to her (and maybe won't be able to pull it off that first night) - not look her up and down, think, "I can do a little better," and move on. And that intimidation factor isn't a matter of how tall or thin or busty she is. It's the value she puts on herself, as demonstrated by her self-presentation. You always want to be a little more expensive than he can comfortably afford. (This is my philosophy at 31. When I was 21, I was trying to avoid sin. Now, I'm making a point about what I'm worth, and what women in general are worth - not that I'm personally soliciting male attention now, as I'm married; but I'm still giving every man who sees me the clear impression that I am a LADY and he will treat me like one.)
Finally - I am aware that some of my concrete methods may not work for women raising small children, and I don't believe that the items of clothing I've mentioned ought to be normative or judge those who choose differently. I do think everyone would be served well to embrace my underlying philosophy, however!
A belt would be perfect! But I don't have one....
ReplyDeleteUgh-why doesn't my blog have the Reply button below each post? I want to respond to so many of these comments but by the time I scroll down to the comment box I've forgotten what I'm responding to! Help. What am I doing wrong?
I got my belt at thrift store for $1.99 lol
ReplyDeleteWow-- thanks for some great thoughts to reflect on!! Such an interesting topic.
ReplyDeleteIt's tough topic for sure-- there's a quote I love that describes the goal: wearing clothes that are "tight enough to show you are a woman, but loose enough to show you are a lady."
As one who is NOT married and no kids, this topic is a struggle for me because I want to be attractive without being immodest.
Growing up, we went through the stage of the long denim skirts and 'sack' clothing as one of you mentioned. Definitely legalistic. Yet sometimes, in my efforts to shed legalism from my life and embrace the freedom of Christ, sometimes I think I've gone a little too far to the other side and have lost some of the cautions I had before that would help my brothers in Christ more.
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts. Great reflections for me.
I don't wear shorts in church, because my dad always said "no shorts in church", so I never have. I do wear shorts other places...and as long as they aren't too short, I don't have a problem.
ReplyDeleteAs far as sleeveless goes, I think it depends on the shirt. I do have one or two shirts that are sleeveless that I will wear to Mass. But, they aren't tank style shirts...they have higher necklines and show "less" of the shoulder (are just sleeveless instead of having a strap), if that makes sense.
We just moved out of Fl, and I will say that living in Fl for 3 years, definitely made me re-think my previous modest standards....I used to never wear tank tops, but in Fl I started wearing a few (more modest ones that have thicker straps, not super low-cut, etc.)
Hi Kaitlin,
ReplyDeleteI just read through your comments, and saw you want to reply to them individually instead of like this. To do it, follow these directions:
Go to "settings"; "posts and comments"; then change the comment location to "embedded". (You currently have it in "pop-up window".
Step 2: under "settings" go to "other", then change "allow blog feed?" to "full".
That should fix it. If you have questions, feel free to ask! I may be able to help. Maybe. I'm not exactly an expert.
BTW, I love the skirt. You probably don't like the outfit because of the way you are standing/facing the camera.
Great outfit - I especially love the skirt! I'm on the fence with the "to sleeveless or not to sleeveless" to Mass thing. Personally I rarely wear anything sleeveless outside of the house, primarily because I hate my arms. (I just heard my best friend's Mom in my head telling me "hate is a strong word".) I strongly dislike my arms. But, if the sleeveless top covers the shoulders (as opposed to just covering bra straps - or not at all), and and doesn't show your bra under the arm or from the back, I'm personally okay with it. For what it's worth. ;)
ReplyDeleteRealized I meant to post on this but hadn't.
ReplyDeleteI wear sleeveless to Mass.
Regularly.
I live in Hawaii and it's hot here year-round but PARTICULARLY in the summer (which we started entering in May).
Our church is small, full of students and other worshipers, and has no A/C in the sanctuary (there is A/C in the priest's office, a blessing for him!).
If I wore a cardigan with my dress I'd melt. Even without one I can feel droplets of sweat running down my legs.
I make sure the top of the dress is modest and "keeps my underwear a secret" though :) No spaghetti straps at Mass.
I always cover my shoulders for Mass. Always. I rarely wear anything sleeveless, even in central Texas where I stop checking the forecast in June because I get depressed by the endless heat, and I never wear sleeveless to church. Even in Belize and Nicaragua, where I knew churches would be warmer than here, I covered my shoulders. Open-air architecture and fans are key to churches without A/C.
ReplyDeleteI was actually just in a friend's Catholic wedding where I wore the one-shoulder/one-strap David's Bridal dress she'd selected, but I put a pretty white scarf over my shoulders until the reception (with her permission). In contrast, I was in an outdoor, lightly-religious wedding a few years ago where I wore the strapless bridesmaid dress and felt really uncomfortable even though I wasn't breaking my personal "no bare shoulders in churches" rule. As a guest at a Baptist church wedding, I wore sleeves.
I do feel that covered shoulders are more modest, but I also honestly love the fashionability of wearing layers. You can add a new color so easily, and I feel like I have more outfits when I cover the same dress with a different shirt or sweater.
I don't wear sleeveless shirts by themselves anywhere except inside my own home--primarily for the reason that I don't think my armpits are terribly pretty. :P
ReplyDelete